


La Belle Époque

by supremeleader



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Additional Character To Be Added, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, F/M, Fingerfucking, Mentions of Cigarettes, Mentions of alcohol, Muse!Reader, NSFW, Romance, Smut, artist!Kylo
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-04
Updated: 2019-10-15
Packaged: 2019-11-12 04:28:24
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 21
Words: 53,648
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18003815
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/supremeleader/pseuds/supremeleader
Summary: Making art for a living isn’t easy, but what happens if Kylo finds a new muse in his new neighbor? And what if his new muse is someone from his past...





	1. Chapter 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> kylo ren finds himself a new muse he least expects

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you for reading! for starters, I’m probably gonna have to do a mini glossary every chapter, depending on what terms/artists I use as a reference for those of you don’t know! the title is actually loosely based off of an art term/era that I thought was quite suiting for the story in a metaphorical manner!

There was something about the color red that most attached itself to the canvases signed off by Kylo Ren. In every inch of his loft-turned-studio, amongst the blinding white walls that had specks of aged paint, rest canvases of all sizes, stacked and pressed against one another. Each consisted of the same color, in the similar tones, but in different compositions: red.

Splatter paint, known as action painting, was a technique most associated to the works that collected along the walls of Kylo’s home. Each and every piece that scattered across the paint stained floors were covered in different markings of red paint, splattered freely. It was something he most loved doing as he struggled through art school.

Anger was one of Kylo’s peak emotions, followed by hate and fear: the driving forces of the gestural movements of his wrist as he stood above a large spread canvas. He admired the work of Jackson Pollock, one of the greatest action painters, believing he too could create art with using emotion and forcing himself not to think where the paint should and shouldn’t land. Of course, when he was blinded with emotions, he couldn’t see clearly. Possibly why he worked best while emotional.

Working around the flattened canvas, paint dripping and splattering all across, landing on his dark boots and the concrete colored flooring, Kylo stood up straight and let out a huff. Wiping his lightly sweat coated forehead, Kylo took a step back before walking away to clean the brushes he used. Settling them down, he reached into his back pocket before aiming towards his balcony, picking up the pocket sized sketchbook from a table covered in all sorts of paint bottles and tubes. Sliding the door open, Kylo balanced his sketchbook on the balcony railing before pulling out a cigarette and lighter, lighting it up and placing it in between his lips.

Listening to the sounds of the city life surrounding him, placing the box and lighter back into his pocket, Kylo reached for the small sketchbook and pulled out the ballpoint pen from behind his ear. Leaning on his forearms and peeking into the life bellow, of people walking and cars driving by, Kylo began to quickly mark the page he turned to, filling both sides from left to right. Getting as much into the twenty four page book, he placed and replaced the cigarette in between his lips.

His head felt heavy on his shoulders and he couldn’t possibly stop from making art. Any sort of art. He couldn’t sit still in silence, fearing of what ridicule his own mind would undergo. It was enough that he lived most of his time on his own when he wasn’t amongst those in the art group he was under. A group he grew less and less interested in as the days passed him by.

Kylo was confident in his work, cocky in every aspect when it came to presenting his pieces. He knew people loved them, knew people wanted to buy them. Kylo knew most only saw it as random splashes tossed onto a white background, but they never saw it at its emotional extent.

His mind was locked in its modern cage in a postmodern world.

Feeling and expressing his emotions was all he knew, anyway. There was always a surplus of feelings that needed to be put onto canvas, a never ending supply.

Finishing up the sketch with its jagged edges and weighted lines, Kylo leaned his head back as a thread of smoke lifted into the gloomy sky from his cigarette. Watching as it flowed in its ghost-like charm, Kylo shut his eyes for a moment, trying to collect his scattered thoughts that were much like sand in a sandstorm.

Removing the cigarette from his lips and lowering his head, Kylo’s eyes suddenly landed on a young woman, sipping away from a mug with large sunglasses on and dressed as if she were straight out of a catalogue. Lowering his hand that held his burning cigarette, Kylo’s focus latched onto her and settled there.

You were taking in the gloomy morning, although not an ideal way to start the day, you liked the view of your new home.  The life bellow, the tall buildings all around, it was fascinating and much different than where you once lived before, just outside of Manhattan.

Tilting his head as his eyes bounced around you, picking up as much as he could from across the way, he reached for his sketchbook and turned to a new page. Placing his cigarette in between his lips, he sketched your figure across the page, lifting and lowering his head to capture all that he could from you. There was something about you that had his mind reeling, the desire to draw you out and to make art out of the art you already were. He didn’t know what it was, but you so easily piqued his interest.

Looking down for a moment to add more detail, Kylo lifted his head and hissed the moment you had turned away and disappeared into your apartment. Grabbing his cigarette and smashing it into the ashtray he held outside, Kylo wiped his face. He was well aware of those who lived around him, knowing and recognizing the faces he had seen around. But he had never seen anyone live where you were, and he only wished he could see your face up close.

Slipping back into his loft, tossing the sketchbook back to where he last had it, Kylo aimed back for his brushes to begin a new painting from the sudden image of his new “neighbor.”

Within the studio—that he claimed to be his home—sat stacks of books. Sketchbooks, magazines, art history books, philosophy books, all piled up against the different walls surrounding him. The entrance of his home, where the foyer was, was the only spot that wasn’t crowded in art material. The hallway that lead to the living space had shelves of brushes and more paints, rolled up canvases and small sculptures he had created. Amongst the mess, Kylo’s paintings and books all nearly filled the walls up. The area of where the kitchen and the lounge sat—just underneath the stairs that lead to his bedroom—was the only areas that had minor design to give the home a more… homey feel. This being because Kylo’s favorite spot was the couch in the lounge area, besides his balcony.

His home lacked in technology, only really having a laptop and his cracked phone that he had no interest in buying a new one (even if his mentor slash art dealer insisted). His bedroom had just a large bed with no frame, sketches and drawings being pinned to the walls around it.

He truly lived amongst his art.

Hearing his phone ring, somewhere amongst the mess he had created, Kylo found it underneath a canvas, spotting the unsettling name on the screen. “Yes?”

“ _Good morning to you, Ren_.”

“Good morning…” Kylo forced out as he had already felt the bitterness work its way onto his tongue.

“ _You will be attending tonight, yes?_ ”

“Tonight?” He arched an eyebrow.

“ _Your colleagues exhibit_.”

Rolling his eyes, Kylo hissed, “is it truly necessary that I go and support an untalented man who has no—“

“ _You are under my guidance, under my support, and I am the reason you are where you are today. Make your appearance, act like you are supportive of those in the First Order art group and I won’t have to make it seem like your upcoming show was cancelled for a sudden illness._ ”

At his mentors threat, Kylo felt his lip twitch as he bit his tongue, “yes, Snoke.”

“ _Wonderful. Don’t be late_.”

At the sound of the dial, Kylo gripped his already damaged phone and flung it across the room, watching it crash through the glass window and form a hole. Huffing and feeling his heart race, Kylo looked at the hole and sucked in a deep breath. It was perfectly circling your apartment.

Running his long fingers through his hair, Kylo rolled his shoulders and turned to set up a new canvas and paint. If he had to suffer another night at a useless event, the least he could do was prepare himself and keep a steady mind for as long as he could… by painting the memory of you.

Hearing a knock on your front door, your focus turned away from the small dog before you, over to where the sound emitted. “Coming!” Standing to your feet and walking over, hearing the claws behind you grow closer as the little Corgi had followed you, you opened the door. “Poe! Why didn’t you call me?” You greeted as you pulled the curly haired man into a hug.

“I got to fly in earlier than I thought and wanted to surprise Buddy!” He said as he looked down at the tan and white Corgi that had been jumping before his feet. “How was he? Was he behaving well? I know you’ve recently moved in—“

“All because you convinced my father it was safer I live right next to you—“

“Yeah, yeah. Whatever. Answer the question,” Poe lifted an eyebrow as you smiled.

“Beebee was an angel. He’s quite the cuddler…”

Crouching down and petting the smile dog as he kissed his forehead, Poe grinned, “that’s my boy!”

Watching him, you crossed your arms, “how was Australia?”

“It was great,” he nodded before standing up, bringing Buddy into his arms. “There’s a lot of great sceneries for the photos to be taken, so it worked out just as the Boss Lady said it would,” he winked as you shook your head.

“Why do you call her that?”

“It bugs her,” Poe shrugged. “I hope I wasn’t holding you back or anything?”

“Oh, no. I was waiting for my ride to work. My father wants me to come in and help model some of his designs… you know, cause that’s what the heir of the throne title entails,” you teased as Poe smiled.

“Don’t complain, you love it. Especially since you get all those nice clothes,” he pointed at your outfit with his finger.

“I do, I do. It is quite lovely… I just can’t believe he really wants me to take over if something happens…” you muttered as Poe reached over to squeeze your shoulder.

“Hey, don’t worry, you’ll be a great muse for me if I need the distressed look!”

“Poe!” You couldn’t help but laugh.

“Happy thoughts.” Nodding his head, Poe sucked in a breath, “by the way, I was kindly asked to attend a lovely gallery opening tonight that I have no interest in going to.”

“Then… why are you going?”

“To show my face… Keep my name in the positive light… Boss Lady says it’ll be good for me and the company…. even if we can’t stand the people who host and take part in the gallery…” Poe huffed as he glared out into the open space, thinking about it.

“Makes sense, actually…”

Looking back at you, Poe slowly nodded, then smiled, “right… and I was hoping that you’d…”

“Join you?”

“Yup!”

“Okay… I should be free tonight…” you said as you looked down at your watch, seeing you still had time and wouldn’t be late to meet up with your father.

“Wonderful, be ready by 8:30, I want to be fashionably late,” with a wink, Poe turned around and walked towards his apartment as you received a message that your ride had arrived.

* * *

“So Poe asked me to join him tonight to visit some gallery,” you brought up as you stood before your father, in a gown that was just near completed.

“A gallery, huh?” He hummed as you nodded. “Did he mention who it was for? You know there’s a lot of artists out there that support Poe and the reverse.”

“Actually… he wasn’t going for himself. Leia had told him to show his face so things didn’t look bad, whatever that meant. Apparently it’s someone—people—he and the company aren’t fond of,” you explained as your father listened while working away at the laced material.

“Well, if you’re going, be careful. If it’s someone they’re not fond of, then it must be a pit of snakes. And you have quite the known name and face since you not only work for me, but for the Resistance Magazine,” he reminded as you sighed.

“I am well aware. I will be fine,” you assured. “Believe me, I have no interest in taking any offers or deals.”

“Good,” your father nodded. “How’s schooling?”

“Ah, I am just near completion of my Masters!” You shrieked. “Then, you can bombard me with all your business issues.”

“This will be your empire, bellissima. I just need to know you will be fully prepared. I know very well I don’t have to worry about your creativity or fashion sense… or the fear that you’d fail the company by sporting ridiculous crocs,” he teased as you gently shoved him.

“Hey, mom got me those as a joke to upset you. You know this!”

Smiling, your father nodded, “I know. I know. She’s quite the little devil, that one.”

“Mhm…” biting your inner lip, you looked down, “I miss her…”

“She’ll be home again. You know she will. Her and her travels may be a pain but, remember, this will be the longest trip she will ever have to take,” he reminded as he looked up at you with a reassuring smile.

* * *

Tugging on a pair of black jeans and pulling on a black shirt and a black leather jacket—seeing as all he owned was black—Kylo lifted his focus and peeked out the window to see the light on within your balcony doors. Looking back over at the painting he had spent nearly all day working on, Kylo eyed the apartment once more before turning away and reaching for the piece of wood and steel that got him around the city: his skateboard.

Although it wasn’t uncommon to see anyone skateboard, let alone, a near thirty year old man doing it, it was very reliable when it came to quick transportation. But he also had a car that was collecting dust in the garage bellow his loft…

Kylo had zero interest in visiting his supposed colleagues art show, not wanting to spend his evening sitting by the bar, drinking up the hours he was forced to suffer. But what choice did he have? Snoke was nearly his only hope in making money when it came to selling his work. Snoke was also the only person he really knew, everyone else associated with him didn’t even care about him, only his art.

But he was well aware he did this to himself. He didn’t have the best of personalities, anyway. He always held himself in a manner that he wanted no one to approach him. It had become natural to him.

The gallery wasn’t too far from his loft, the trip there taking a mere fifteen minutes—with no one getting in his way. Many had grown accustomed to a near thirty year old artist riding a skateboard, so when they saw the six foot three man approach the main entrance, kicking up his board and casually walk in, no one seemed to pay any mind. Instead, photos were taken before everyone returned to their business. It was quite a rare sighting to see the man known as Kylo Ren.

“Ah, look who has finally arrived. Decided to be a skater boy yet again?” Recognizing the smooth voice of his colleague, Phasma, Kylo settled his skateboard to a side before approaching her. “Nice glasses.”

“I am shielding my eyes from the atrocity presented in this forsaken exhibit,” he simply answered as the blonde woman held a smirk on her lips.

“Another splendid moment for Ren. Forced time and time again to attend openings because he has to.” Waving her hand as she adjusted the silver blazer she had been wearing, Phasma heard Kylo let out a low growl.

“You know very well I would not be here willingly,” at that, Kylo walked around Phasma and aimed for the bar as she followed, understanding what Kylo said. “I wouldn’t be anywhere I didn’t want to be if it wasn’t for—“

“Snoke. I’m well aware.”

Looking over at Phasma for a mere second, arching an eyebrow before turning his attention back to the bar before him, Kylo caught the bartender’s attention to order a drink.

“I’d rather be back in my studio, spending these next few hours sculpting than being here and looking pretty,” Phasma sighed, leaning her elbows on the bar.

“Looking pretty?” Kylo teased as Phasma rolled her eyes.

“You know very well I am much more attractive than these god awful photographs and montages…” Phasma trailed, eyeing her surroundings, “and videos Hux has pulled together.” Shaking her head as she eyed a television in the distance, Phasma looked past the hordes of people and over to the pinned up photographs, snickering, “it’s all average.”

“Not according to Snoke,” Kylo reminded as he stood beside her, waiting.

“We both know Snoke is biased when it comes to Hux. And here I thought he’d play favorites with you,” Phasma admitted as Kylo screwed his eyes back in distaste. “I was wrong. Very wrong. Snoke has poor taste.”

“Poor taste?” Kylo scoffed, “It isn’t taste at all. Although, he does have some taste if he supports my art…” reaching for his drink, Kylo took a swig before looking into the glass, “and I suppose you, as well.”

“Suppose,” Phasma mocked, “you’re ridiculous. You know my sculptures are absolute masterpieces!”

“Recreate Michelangelo’s David, then we’ll get to talking,” Kylo teased.

“Recreate Kandinsky’s Composition VII!” Phasma fired back, but Kylo smirked.

“You know very well I do not use the influence of apocalyptic themes or even music to drive my paintings—“

“But you use your innermost feelings!”

“It is not the same,” Kylo rolled his eyes.

“It’s abstract art,” she defended as Kylo continued to sip away at his drink, knowing she was right but not giving her the leverage to know so. It was still different.

Considering ignoring the blonde, he suddenly heard her huff in annoyance, causing him to look over his shoulder, “what?”

“We’ve got orange company,” she spoke in utter annoyance and disgust.

Turning around and leaning his lower back against the counter as he held his glass cup, Kylo eyed the many figures before him, his height giving him an advantage to nearly look over them. At first, he didn’t know who or what Phasma had been talking about, but then he spotted him.

Poe Dameron, one of the greatest photographers of his time.

Rolling his eyes, unamused by his appearance, Kylo was about to turn away and order more of his drink until the crowd nearly cleared out, leaving sporadic faces at the entrance of the gallery… including someone he did not expect.

Someone who made his heart sink at the sight of them being there, at the same time as he was.

Someone he hadn’t seen in over six years, realizing just who his mysterious balcony muse truly was.

**_You._ **

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> glossary:
> 
> \- la belle époque: translated to “the beautiful era”, a french term, occurring during the era of the french third republic, a period characterized by optimism, regional peace, economic prosperity, technology, scientific, and cultural innovations   
> \- jackson pollock: american painter known for splashing and pouring paint over his canvases that were settled on the floor  
> \- michelangelo: italian sculptor, painter, architect and poet from the high renaissance era  
> \- kandinsky: painter credited as the pioneer of abstract art   
> \- bellissima: “beautiful” in italian


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> there's more to you than phasma believes...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi hi, thank you to those who are reading! i know this fic is fairly new but I thought i'd say it anyway! please don't by shy to leave a comment, your feedback encourages me to write more! <3

Kylo Ren’s eyes lingered on you for much longer than he had expected. He watched as you stood by Poe with a bright grin, sharing words as the two of you had greeted those near the door. His heart lodged up his throat, now truly seeing you much closer than standing on a balcony from afar. 

It was expected for you to change in the years that passed, seeing as the last time he had seen you, you were in your late teens. The two of you hadn’t entirely been best of friends, but neither of you were strangers to the other. Your parents—specifically your father—were close to his parents and it was a common thing for your family to be around his. 

But Kylo never found interest in being around his parents friends. 

He also wasn’t around most of the time, off at boarding school hundreds of miles away from home. 

Noticing the  _ common _ silence emitting from her fellow artist, Phasma looked over at Kylo. The change in demeanor caught her attention, the way Kylo stood with a tight grip on his glass cup, eyebrows furrowed at whatever he had been focusing on. 

Following the direction he had been looking in, Phasma arched an eyebrow. He could’ve possibly been as annoyed as her at the sight of Poe Dameron, but his eyes seemed to have lingered on the woman beside the curly haired man.. 

“Do you know her?” Phasma questioned.

Staring at you, as if in disbelief, Kylo nodded. “She’s my muse.”

At his words, Phasma’s eyebrows narrowed before realizing the man who was just standing next to her disappeared into the crowd. Looking over to where you were with Poe, moving away from the entrance as numerous amounts of people had approached the curly haired man, Phasma sucked in a small breath before turning away and walking off. Whatever it was, Phasma knew it was anything but good news if you were with Poe Dameron. 

“I want to leave already,” Poe mumbled to you as he had eyed a table full of food. “I bet they poisoned all of this.”

“Poe…” You shook your head with a small laugh, “we can leave... You’ve already made your appearance and plenty of people noticed…”

“It’s too soon, I need to at least look somewhat interested and see what’s around,” he sighed as you nodded. “Look, we’ll eye the garbage presented and then I’ll take you to dinner because I am not letting either of us…” eyeing the table before him, Poe wore a look of disgust, “eat any of  _ this _ .”

“Fair enough,” you nodded with a smile, “it’s the least you could do for taking me,” you teased as Poe playfully rolled his eyes. 

“I’ll take you to that diner you really love, alright?” He offered as your grin grew bigger. “You would be so easy to please with food if we were dating—“

Nudging him, you shook your head, “shut up.”

“Oh, look what the… wind blew in…” hearing an accented voice speak up from beside either of you, both you and Poe lifted your heads. A small sound left Poe, one of distaste, but with the way he smiled, you knew whoever this red haired man was, was the reason Poe had no appeal to the event. “Poe Dameron…” looking over at you, the ginger raised an eyebrow, “and…”

“And my friend,” Poe simply answered, placing a hand on your shoulder as the man dressed in a sharp crimson tux slowly nodded. 

“Ah, what a name,  _ my friend _ .”

Rolling his eyes, Poe let out a small sigh, “look, we’re only here to show our faces.”

“Oh, that’s obvious,” Hux snickered, “I wouldn’t expect a man who works for that obnoxious magazine to even be here.”

At the sound of his laugh, you frowned as Poe glared. “Yet the Resistance Magazine gets more support and has…” eyeing his surroundings, Poe lowered his voice, “a lot more appeal than whatever that artist colony crap you’re under, does.”

With a glare and a small snarl, Hux clenched his fists at his sides, “you are lucky we are at  _ my _ event,” he hissed before turning and storming off. 

Looking over at Poe, you couldn’t help but share a laugh at the man’s reaction to Poe’s minimal attack. “And who is he, if I may ask?”

Wrapping an arm over your shoulder before he began to guide you, Poe sighed, “that is the unlovely Armitage Hux of the First Order art group.”

From afar, standing further to the side and within the shadows, Kylo harshly bit down at the sight of Hux speaking to you and Poe, tightening his fists at how casual it all seemed. Kylo was well aware that Hux despised Poe, but he still didn’t like the sight of it. It was possible he was more upset that the ginger was even around you rather than just sharing  _ small talk _ with Poe. 

He didn’t want Hux to know who were, didn’t even want the two of you sharing the same air. You were too good for  _ that _ . 

“Hey, I’m gonna go get us some drinks so we can at least enjoy this a bit,” Poe nudged you as you nodded.

“Make sure it isn’t poisoned,” you teased with a small laugh as Poe huffed. 

“Let’s only hope.” At that, Poe left your side as you turned your focus away from him, towards the gallery. Truly, there wasn’t a lot to see, but there was still…  _ some _ stuff to see. 

Walking to the right of where you were standing, towards two large photos that sat parallel to one another on the wall, a servant with a tray filled with champagne offered you a glass. Taking it in your hand, thanking them, you looked inside and sniffed the liquid, Poe’s words lingering in your head about things being poisoned. You didn’t even bother taking sip, rather, letting it hang at your side as your arm tangled against your hip.

Holding onto your elbow as you eyed the so called masterpiece before you, you sucked in a small breath. It was nothing but an image of the New York City skyline… nothing out of the ordinary. Actually, it was  _ very _ ordinary. No wonder Poe had no desire to attend. Although, you did have to admit, at least the man with the name that rhymed with  _ sucks _ knew how to handle a camera. 

Realizing someone had been standing beside you, believing you had been alone for the few minutes you were there, you heard a small scoff followed my a subtle “trash” that left their voice. 

Feeling a small grin grow on your lips, you turned your head as your eyes trailed up the tall man beside you. Your eyes bounced from his dark, wavy hair, towards the black sunglasses he had been wearing indoors. His sharp features caught your attention as the man turned his head to look at you with a subtle shrug before walking away. 

Letting your eyes lingering on his towering figure draped in black clothing, something felt familiar about him. Before you could study the man more, Poe popped up and replaced your untouched champagne with a smaller glass. “Actually found something interesting?”

Looking past Poe, over to the back of the man who wore sunglasses indoors, you took in a small breath before looking back at Poe, “Possibly.”

“That’s a surprise…” Letting out a small laugh as the two of you drank away.

Walking arm and arm around the gallery, sharing subtle jokes and giggles, earning looks, the two of you were enjoying yourselves much too much to realize you were being stared at. You also hadn’t realized how many drinks you had consumed. 

“Stare any longer and you might as well glue your eyes on her,” Phasma teased as she took the empty spot beside Kylo.

“She’s laughing at the pieces,” he pointed out, dismissing Phasma’s words. 

“Must be Dameron’s influence, then…” Looking over to where you had been slightly hunched over, covering your mouth as Poe had been laughing beside you, Phasma sighed, “at least they’re having a good time.

“It’s the alcohol,” Kylo simply spoke. 

Narrowing her eyebrows, Phasma looked over at her so called friend, “have you been watching them the whole night?”

“ _ Her _ ,” Kylo corrected. 

“Ah, yes, that makes it much better…” Shaking her head, Phasma let out a sigh as she leaned her back against the wall behind her. “You sound—and seem—awfully a lot like a creep.”

“Whatever.” With a huff, Kylo walked away, leaving Phasma alone once again. 

Hearing his stomach rumble in hunger, Poe’s eyes widened as he stood straight, “shit… we should go eat.”

Laughing at Poe’s sudden change in demeanor, you shook your head, “let’s leave, then. I think we’ve been here long enough…”

“God, it feels like it’s been… hours since we first got here…” Poe breathed as he thought about it, even though it had only been less than two hours… if that. Slipping his arm from yours, he grabbed your hand and pulled you along with him. 

As Poe guided you along, allowing him to tug you, your eyes had shifted away for a moments worth… only to land on the man with sunglasses. Even with his eyes covered, you could tell he was looking at you.  _ Directly _ at you. 

Sucking in a small breath as you slightly tilted your head, eyebrows furrowed, a sense of familiarity struck you; but, before you could recall any of his features, Poe tugged you right out of the gallery. 

“Come on, come on, I’m starving…”

“I’m coming,” you grumbled, turning your attention away from the “art” show, towards the direction he had been taking you, you let out a sigh. 

The walk wasn’t too long to the diner you loved going to, of course, with Poe dragging you along. It was nearing midnight and the twenty four hour restaurant had lots of activity even at those hours. As the two of you got a table and sat down, your eyes landed on the mural that took on the ceiling. That was something you had never noticed before… or… at least you didn’t remember. 

“Hello, you two,” hearing a soft voice speak up, you lowered your focus to the middle aged woman dressed in her work uniform. “Would you like to start off with any specialty drinks?”

“Can I just have those… jugs of water… and your biggest appetizer,” Poe said, “whatever it is, I’ll take it.”

Smiling, the woman couldn’t help but laugh and nod. “Of course, and you?” She asked as she directed her eyes to you. 

“Uh, I’ll share with him,” you nodded, looking back up at the mural as her eyes followed. 

“Oh, that’s new! Makes me feel like I’m in the Sistine chapel…” she smiled. “Have you ever been?”

“Oh, I wish. I’d love to see the Vatican one day…” you smiled back, “who painted this?” You pointed.

“A very brooding, young man did it. It’s a lovely job, I’ll admit, but he was… quite unsettling…” The waitress said as you kept your eyes glued. 

“Unsettling, how?” You curiously asked. 

“Well, he looked like he had murder in his eyes. Also, wore all black even though he was dealing with paint… He also hardly spoke but when he did it was… absolutely terrifying. I’ll admit… he is very talented,” she explained as you nodded, Poe just dismissing the whole conversation as he rubbed his temples. 

“When was this done?”

“Oh, just last weekend. He only took about two nights? We had to close the diner for the night so he could. He worked… exceedingly fast, and yet, it came out beautiful. Looks like we are actually looking up at the galaxy,” she grinned before looking at Poe, then at you, “If you don’t mind, I’ll get your order in, your friend looks unhappy.”

“Of course,” you nodded as she walked away. 

Groaning, Poe pressed his forehead against the table, “a big mistake we have made by drinking without eating…”

Smiling as you looked at him, you gently patted his head, “you’ll get food in you very soon.” Letting out a louder groan, Poe nearly banged his head as you stifled a laugh, twirling his curls as you waited for your food.

“It’s about time this shit is reaching its end…” Phasma mumbled, earning a few looks from the guests as she had said it to the air and no one particular. She was bored out of her mind, finding different spots to stand in as she people watched. Phasma had tried her best to actually get a small conversation out of Kylo, hoping at least they could suffer less together, but even then, the man was an enigma. She would find him, and then moments later, she’d lose sight of him.

But then she realized just where he could be.

Walking outside, without having her superior notice, Phasma walked along the sidewalk and spotted Kylo leaning against s brick wall of the alleyway. “I should’ve known better.”

Lifting his head from staring at the ground through his sunglasses, Kylo removed the cigarette from his lips and sighed, “too many people are in there.”

“But, you’re used to crowds…” Phasma pointed out, causing Kylo to pause before he looked up at the sky.

“Too many  _ brainless _ people are in there. They think his shit photography is art,” Kylo corrected as Phasma smirked. “I just want to leave.”

Sucking in a small breath and nodding, sticking her hands into the pockets of her pants that matched her silver blazer, Phasma tilted her head, “you want to find her—”

“What?” Kylo snapped his head over to Phasma, his cigarette hanging in between his teeth.

Grinning, Phasma walked closer and leaned beside him against the wall, “your muse. I bet you’re saddened by the fact that she’s gone.”

Huffing as he rolled his eyes, Kylo looked back ahead at the graffitied wall before him and removed the cigarette once again with a puff of smoke before replacing it. “She was the only worthy thing to look at in there, I’ll admit that…”

Feeling her smile widen, Phasma ran her fingers through her short, blonde hair before turning to face him, “She is pretty…”

Snarling at her words, Kylo looked up at the sky as he kept the cigarette in between his teeth, “don't try getting with her.”

Biting back a laugh, Phasma smirked, “I’m not.

“ _ Good _ .”

At Kylo’s tone of voice, Phasma shook her head. She had him right where she wanted. He was so easy to ready… at least, to her. She knew there was more to the situation than what was being put, and she was going to slither her way to find it. 

“You came out here for a reason, is it to get me to talk about my muse?” Kylo asked with his teeth holding his cigarette. 

Feeling her smile drop, Phasma let out an inaudible sigh. “No…”

Smirking, he looked over at her, “what do you want to know?”

Blinking a few times, as her eyebrows raised, Phasma took in a deep breath. “Well, for starters… how is she your muse when… all your work is just paint splattered one a canvas…”

Narrowing his eyes at her words, Kylo stood up straight, “right, she will stay a mystery to you—“

“ _ Wait _ …” Phasma grabbed his arm, “I just want to know… how…”

Leaning back against the wall, Kylo sighed, “if you just look at her, you know. She’s the embodiment of walking art. A masterpiece meant to be presented in a museum.”

“God, you sound like a sucker,” Phasma snickered. “You did see who she came with? She was with Dameron. For all we know, she’s dating him.”

Feeling his emotions go sour, Kylo clenched his fists, “not a chance.”

“Why? Cause you claim her? She’s a human being, Ren—“

“ _ No _ ,” he snarled as Phasma sighed. 

“Then, what? Why else would she come alone with him? The  _ greatest _ photographer Resistance Magazine has ever seen.” Standing there, now with her arms crossed, Phasma arched an eyebrow. 

“She works with the Resistance Magazine,” Kylo spat out as Phasma rolled her eyes. “Don’t even say a word. She works with one of the major contributors.”

“And how do you know all of this, if I may ask?” Phasma tilted her head as Kylo flicked his cigarette onto the ground and pressed his heel against it, hands now deep in his pockets. 

“Because I knew her from my childhood.”


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Revelations are made.

Phasma stood in silence as she stared at Kylo, blinking a few times before rolling her eyes back. “Not again. I will not deal with you being associated to others affiliated with that damned company.”

Squinting his eyes, Kylo shook his head and walked past her, “you wanted to know, so I told you.”

Turning and watching her colleague walk away, Phasma threw her head back before speaking up, “you never answered my question, about how she’s your muse.”

Continuously walking, Kylo shrugged, “you’ll just have to wait and see. Art evolves just as people do.”

Watching as the man went back into the gallery, only to come out with a skateboard, Phasma sighed as he skated away. “Oh, Ren… what have you gotten yourself into that I will have to protect your ass for?”

 

* * *

 

“Are you feeling better now?” You asked Poe as you leaned against the wall in between yours and his apartment doors. 

Nodding his head as he rubbed his face, Poe stood up straight, “yes, thankfully. Thank you for coming along with me…”

Hearing the lack of effort in his voice, you couldn’t help but laugh, “go cuddle Beebee, I’ll see you tomorrow.” Pulling Poe into a tight embrace, you stepped back before aiming for your place. You had to admit, you were quite exhausted after the day you had,  and nothing seemed more tempting than sleep, but now that you were left alone with nothing but you, your thoughts, and a lonesome home… you thought about  _ him _ . About the man in sunglasses. 

Kicking off your shoes, gathering them and placing them in your much-too-large closet for just one person (in which you took advantage of) you undressed yourself and changed into your sleepwear. You were so tempted to toss yourself on your bed, to collapse and fall asleep, but, instead, you aimed for your balcony. 

It was the middle of the night, the moon was high and the sky was dark, but the city still thrived. Wrapped in the spare blanket you had draped over your couch, feet stuffed into slippers and wrapped in fuzzy socks, you gazed at the city. Crossing your arms over the railing, resting your chin on them, you shut your eyes for a moment and felt the night breeze.  

Entering his loft and tossing his keys to a side, settling his skateboard on a shelf, Kylo walked through the foyer and past the doors into the vast living area, instantly spotting the hole on one of his windows. Nearly forgetting about it—and the fact that he no longer had a working phone with his outburst—Kylo grabbed duct tape and walked over. Ripping pieces off with his teeth, just about to patch it, his eyes landed on your balcony. 

His eyes landed on  _ you _ . 

Feeling his chest tighten, Kylo stared for a moment's worth. The way you gazed out, chin resting on your arms. How your loose hair gently swayed with the night winds. It reminded him of those nights he stayed locked up in his room or snuck out and saw you in his backyard, settled beside his family dog as your parents had been with his in the living room. He never was one to be around when there were visitors, but every time you made an appearance, he always—unintentionally—made the effort to at least  _ look _ at you. 

And my how have you changed in those years…

Taping the hole, forcing himself to look away, Kylo worked his way around and found his sketchbook. Haphazardly removing his jacket, he grabbed a seat and dragged it towards a window that aligned the wall before him, opening up his sketchbook and began a loose drawing of you. 

Shivering, tightening the blanket around you, you stood up straight in your spot. Just as you were about to turn back, your eyes landed on the building across from you. One of the lofts had been lit up unlike the rest, catching your attention. Squinting your eyes as you spotted a figure sitting by the window, you couldn’t quite make out their face, only seeing they had been writing or drawing something. Smiling to yourself, you were just about to turn away, only to see them lift their focus. Making sudden eye contact, the man abruptly stood up and walked away, leaving you there with a fluttering heart. 

For a moment, you caught a glimpse—a  _ better _ glimpse of them—feeling your eyes widen at the sight of the build and outfit, you took a small step back. Had that been the same sunglasses man?  _ No…  _ Shaking your head and looking back over, you noticed the lights were now off, leaving you to wonder…

Sighing, you turned away and looked up at the moon, thinking about the many times you would visit your neighbors home with your parents, stepping outside with the family dog to stargaze. You were more than glad your parents still kept close contact with them. 

You were glad you still knew Leia Organa. 

 

* * *

 

The sound of meowing had awoken Kylo. The feeling of discomfort caused him to groan as he lifted himself from his couch. A page from his sketchbook latched onto his face, causing him to gasp as he looked down at the now smudged drawing. The charcoal image was now fuzzy, the page crinkled, and his face… wiping it with his hand, he spotted the black stains on his fingertips. His cheek now had become the canvas and your once drawing became a mess of smudges and sweat. 

Hearing the meowing again, Kylo growled, rubbing his eyes, “yeah, yeah!” Cursing the hole in his window that he created, Kylo went to walk over to the balcony of his place and spotted a white calico sitting on the table his cigarette tray was. “Does no one own you?”

Earning a low meow in response, Kylo shook his head and turned away as the cat sat there, pushing the ashtray further from her. 

Walking back into his home and grabbing a small bowl from the kitchen cabinet, Kylo turned on the faucet and filled it to the brim with water before walking back to the nameless cat. “I should’ve never fed you that first time…” he mumbled as he placed the bowl down, watching the cat move to stand as she licked away. 

Reaching in his pocket for his cigarette carton, the cat suddenly meowed, loud enough to catch his attention. Narrowing his eyes at her, he flipped open the package and pulled out a cigarette, only to see that the cat had moved closer and pressed her paw against his stomach. 

“What?”

“ _ Mrrrow _ …”

“Are you trying to talk to me?” Kylo squinted his eyes, reaching his free hand into one of the pockets of his pants from the night before (that he had slept in). Feeling around for the lighter, he pulled it out and suddenly felt the cat's paw on his hand. She had been standing on her hind legs. Looking between her and the lighter, he furrowed his eyebrows, “it’s a shit habit, I know.”

Watching him turn away as she sat back down, the cat followed him as he leaned against the balcony to light up his cigarette. Hopping up and sitting on the railing beside him, she nudged her head against his hand.

Lighting the cigarette and placing it between his teeth, Kylo stuffed the lighter back into his pocket. “Judging me for smoking and now you want me to pet you?” Huffing, Kylo ran his fingers through her soft fur coat as she purred. Turning his attention up to the building before him, he looked at your balcony. 

Removing the cigarette from his lips, Kylo looked over at the unnamed cat before looking back up. Sucking in a small breath as he gazed up, in hopes you’d pop out like you had before, minutes had passed and nothing happened. Putting out the cigarette in the ashtray, Kylo gave the cat one last scratch under her chin before walking back in. 

Hearing a meow from behind, Kylo looked over to see the calico now sitting by his feet. Sucking in a small breath, he looked at the tip of her ear and noticed it was clipped before looking at her face, into those green eyes, “I go a day without feeding you and now you’re needy.”

“ _ Mrow _ …”

Looking into his lonesome home, then down at the cat, he nudged his head, “come on.”

 

* * *

 

“You’re early,” your father said as a hello, taking the coffee you handed him as you sipped your tea.  

“Couldn’t sleep,” you shrugged, taking one of the stools that sat in your father’s office. It was true, you hardly slept that night before. For some reason, you kept dreaming—and thinking—about the sunglasses man. The one you knew had to have been your neighbor across the street. There was something about him that triggered a feeling. As if you  _ knew _ him.

“Leia wants to see you,” your father said, interrupting your thoughts. 

“How come?” You curiously asked as you looked at him. 

“Something involving an upcoming project… not entirely sure what…” he mumbled as he had been focused with a design he had been sketching. 

Slowly nodding, you stood from your seat and moved your purse to a side, “I’ll be back in a bit,” at that, you left his workspace. 

Leia’s office was a few floors higher than your father’s. Although your father was a designer and Leia was the CEO of Resistance Magazine, he still worked very closely to her and her company. Boarding the elevator and hitting the top floor button, you shut your eyes for a moment and found yourself where you were that night before. 

You thought about  _ him _ , how he sat by the window. You thought about how he made quick eye contact with you before jumping to his feet and leaving your sight. 

He was looking at you, he had  _ been _ looking at you… and it made you think, he must’ve recognized you, too…

Snapping out of your thoughts at the  _ ding _ sound, you opened your eyes and watched as the doors slid open before you walked out. 

Aiming for Leia’s office—which was quite large—you greeted her assistant, Kaydel, before entering. “Ah, just on time!” Leia exclaimed as she had been standing to a side, eyeing a portfolio of images. “I assume your father filled you in with why I needed you?”

“All he mentioned was an upcoming project,” you nodded, “ nothing more.”

“Of course,” she said before sending a smile your way, gesturing for you to sit as she walked towards you. “I am sure you are well aware of Poe’s recent project of visiting Paris, yes?”

“Yes, he mentioned it to me,” you nodded again. 

“Well, I want the Resistance Magazine spring covers to be art centered. You know, sculptures and paintings and drawings… but I want it incorporated with the fashion and muses. A little three in one, you know?” She explained. 

“Like… mixed media?”

“Basically,” Leia grinned. “Now, Poe helped me with a lot of Paris based locations for some of our cover stars and models. I did get help from other photographers as well, but I had this idea of promoting your father’s Spring collection… at an art gallery…” Leia slowly approached. “Not only will we incorporate the art and fashion in the imagery, but… we incorporate Resistance Magazine as well! A little this and that.”

“That sounds really interesting, actually. A gallery that has art, fashion, and Resistance Magazine being presented… Could boost sales even more,” you said as Leia nodded. 

“And! Get your father’s line more attention as well! You could never go wrong with presenting your art to new eyes,” Leia eagerly smiled. “Now, my job for you—if you don’t mind—is to find local artists who’d like to submit their work for us to use alongside our muses. I have a location set and most of my team already on board with bringing in models and getting the set up together…”

“You just need the art…” You trailed as Leia winked. “I know a few artists, actually! I have two in mind already,” you beamed, more than excited to reach out to the duo you had in mind. 

“Wonderful, I need it ASAP. The sooner, the better!” Leia lifted her hands as you gave her a thumbs up. “Thank you so very much, sweetheart.”

Standing up to give her a hug, your attention got caught by a framed image you hadn’t seen before, “that’s new.”

Looking over to see what you had been eyeing, Leia’s grip slid from you, “oh… you know my son…”

“Your son?” You tilted your head, trying to remember. “All I really remember is your husband and dog…”

Taking in a small breath, Leia lifted the image of the young boy with dark waves of hair. “Ahh… yes… Ben was hardly home. Off to boarding school or staying locked up somewhere tending to his creations…”

Furrowing your eyebrows as you tried thinking about it, you looked at Leia, “Ben? Why does that ring a bell?”

“Because, you’ve met him once or twice.”

Blinking a few times, you shook your head, “I have?”

“Mhm,” Leia nodded her head, “you met him when you were much younger.”

“That’s probably why I forgot,” you chuckled. 

Slightly smiling, Leia settled the image of the little boy down—one she had found buried deep in memorabilia she kept hidden for years. “Yes, of course. He’s changed a lot since then…” she sighed before lifting her head to look at you, “but I don’t believe you forgot the second time.”

Giving her a look of  _ what do you mean? _ you tilted your head to the opposite side, “why’s that?”

“Because,” Leia breathed in, “he's the one who was there for you when you were stood up at prom…” she said as your narrowed your eyebrows, “that was my son.”


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You knew him... but you nearly forgot as to how you had.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It’s a flashback chapter! But there’s a lot of Kylo and reader interactions ❤️

“God, look at you!” Your father had exclaimed as you walked down the steps of your home, wearing a bright grown and rosy cheeks. “Gorgeous as always!”

“That's because I’m in  _ your _ design,” you teased as you pointed at him, earning a small laugh from your mother and your neighbor, Leia. 

“That— That’s not true!” Your father shook his head as he held a camera, at a loss for words. 

Patting his arm and taking the camera in her own hands, your mother smiled as she looked over at you, “we both know that’s true,” she winked before taking a number of photos. “I’ll deal with the photography as you deal with the fashion,” she waved her hand at your father as he huffed. 

“Whatever. Where is this  _ date _ of yours?” He looked at you with an arched eyebrow as your smile turned. 

Gulping, you bit your inner lip, “he… hasn’t called.”

“Oh, for fu—“

“ _ Honey _ ,” your mother spoke with a warning tone. 

“Boys are garbage! I’ll tell you that! Leaving my little girl on her prom night, stranded, as if—“

“It’s— It’s okay, dad!” You lifted your hands with a forced smile, “it’s fine, believe me. He’ll meet me over there!” Nodding your head, trying to convince your parents—and yourself—you quietly sighed. “He— He mentioned that if he isn’t able to pick me up he’ll meet me at the front of the school,” you lied. 

Squinting his eyes, your father slowly shook his head, “sure he will…”

Looking between your parents, then at you, Leia took in a small breath, reading you well enough to know you had lied. “Well, you look insanely beautiful, my dear,” Leia smiled at you with the kindest of eyes as you looked at her, giving her a genuine smile back. 

“Thank you,” you nodded, then nearly panicked, “what time is it?!”

Looking down at her watch, your mother lifted her eyebrows, “ten till 8–“

“Oh, crap!”

“ _ Bellissima _ …” your father glared.

Shaking your head and waving your hand, you rushed down the few steps before grabbing your clutch from your mother, “I gotta get going!”

“Wait, who’s taking you!” Your father exclaimed. 

“I can!” Leia nodded. “I don’t mind,” she smiled as you looked at her. “Come on, I’ll get you there quick without ruining the look.”

“Thank you so much!” You breathlessly spoke as you held your hands together. “I gotta get going, see you later!” Hugging your parents rather quickly, you rushed off as Leia soon followed. Although you considered the Solo-Organa’s as neighbors, they lived down the road rather than right next to you… but, your father was close to Leia’s mother as he grew up and that’s how the two had known one another. 

Leia’s car had been in the driveway since she had stopped by from driving back home, which made it all the more easier for her to take you. 

Skating along the sidewalk and noticing you in an elegant dress entering his mother’s car,  _ Ben _ furrowed his eyebrows at the sight. His mother spoke often of you to his father and he heard most conversations—including the one of you going to prom with a date and being picked up by them—and she wanted photos… but this didn’t seem much like  _ that _ . 

Instead, his mother was taking you and… there wasn’t a corsage at your wrist…

Sucking in a deep breath as he watched the car drive off, Kylo made his way back home with a change of plans for his evening. 

-

“Hey,” Leia called to you before you were able to exit her car, eager to meet up with your date and enter the event. “If he doesn’t show up, don’t let it ruin your night. You’re absolutely stunning and can have fun without him, alright?”

Smiling at her words, you nodded, “thank you.”

Giving you a gentle smile, she reached over and held your hand for a moment, “there’s always someone better out there. And there’s always  _ you _ , as well.”

Giving her one last nod before leaning over and hugging her, you opened the passenger door before hopping out, waving goodbye, “thank you so much!”

“Anytime, sweetheart!” Leia called out as you nearly rushed off. She watched you for a few minutes before she drove off, nearly fearing that you were going to be stood up… only hoping you’d keep her words in mind. 

You were wearing one of the brightest grins, walking with your head held high and blinding confidence. You felt great and you were excited, looking forward to this night for quite the longest of time. The movies you had seen, the stories you had heard, prom seemed like one of the greatest events to experience in high school.

But then minutes passed as you waited on the steps, and more minutes passed and you were there, waiting, for almost half an hour. Slumping and feeling your confidence deplete with your happiness, you found yourself sighing as you sat on the concrete steps.

You had hoped and hoped he’d show up, that maybe your date was just… really late, but as the time passed, your hope dwindled as your confidence had with it.

Seeing a shadow cast upon you, your heart skipped in excitement—in hopes it was him—but as you lifted your head, your eyebrows narrowed. Before you was a young man, at least a few years older than you, in jeans and a distressed band tee. “Why aren’t you enjoying your night inside?”

Taking in a small breath as you looked him in the eyes, you gulped. “Because I’m waiting… for my… date.”

“An hour later?” He arched an eyebrow as you narrowed yours. 

“Do I know you?” You asked but he shrugged, twirling keys around his finger. 

“You and I both know your date isn’t coming,” he blatantly spoke as you frowned. “And you don’t want to go inside because…”

Looking down as you eyed your clutch, you sighed, “I don’t want to walk in looking like a fool…”

“How so?”

“Because I’m… starting to think this was… all just a set up,” you admitted to him—as well as to yourself. You should’ve known better. You weren’t the most known in school, you were just another soul who had a small group of friends and barely knew anyone else. And no one really seemed to have cared who your parents were either way, which you liked, but you were still practically a nobody. 

And you didn’t mind that, you liked that, you liked being away from those who weren’t genuine. You just wished you weren’t so blinded by someone’s looks to actually think a damn football player actually wanted to take you to prom. 

“Well, that’s shit,” he huffed, causing you to lift your focus. “I never went to my prom.”

Blinking a few times, now realizing there was something familiar about him, you tilted your head, “you look like—“  _ Leia and Han _ . Shaking your head, you cleared your throat, “well, what did you do instead?”

“Got drunk,” he seriously spoke. Seeing your eyes widen, a small smirk grew on his lips, “you don’t have to, you can do whatever… you want to do to forget about the night.” 

“How old are you?” You asked. 

“Twenty.”

Huffing, you crossed your arms, “you aren’t even that much older.”

“And how old might you be?” He asked. 

“Seventeen, almost eighteen in a few months,” you said as you sat up straight, earning a snicker from him. 

“Ahh, well, I hope you enjoy your night… out on the steps,” he gestured with his hand before turning away and walking off. 

Watching him, you instantly stood to your feet and gulped, “hey!” Seeing him stop, you sucked in a small breath, “if I said… I wanted to get drunk and have fun and forget this night, without drugs, can you… help?”

Looking over his shoulder before turning to look up at you as he stood at the bottom of the steps, he shoved his hands in the pockets of his pants, “you don’t even know who I am.”

“So? I’ll forget this night. Just don’t… take advantage of me…”

“I won’t,” he shook his head. 

“So…” you trailed. 

Nudging his head, gesturing for you to follow, he spoke up, “come on, prom queen.”

Smiling, you quickly followed him, seeing him approach an antique looking convertible, “mysterious guy who drives an antique car… is this all a prank?”

“Do you want it to be?” He asked as he opened the passenger door for you before making his way to the driver’s side, getting in and staring the car. 

“No…” you mumbled, almost as if you were unsure. “ _ No _ .”

“Good, cause it’s not.”

The second you got in his car, he was quick to back out and drive off, you not bothering to question why he was at a high school… possibly because he looked  _ insanely _ familiar to you and you were sure you knew him.  _ Somehow _ . 

You should have known better not to jump into some random guys car, not even knowing his name, and expecting him to get you drunk. That looked and sounded very bad, yet, here you were. Because you were stood up, because you were embarrassed, and because you wanted nothing to do with prom. 

It sounded absolutely ridiculous, but at the moment, you didn’t seem to care. 

“Do I go… in with you?” You asked as you peeked through the front window of his car, eyeing the neon sign. 

“In that?” He pointed at your gown as you looked over at him. “It’s better you stay in here anyway, it’ll make us more obvious.”

“More…” narrowing your eyebrows, you looked at the liquor store, then at him, “how do you expect to buy alcohol if you’re twenty?”

Sighing, he opened his car door, “fake I.D. of course.” 

Watching him exit the car and shut the door behind him, your eyes followed him as he entered the store. Taking in a deep breath, fiddling with your dress and starting to second think your foolish decisions, your attention got caught by a collection of cassette tapes. Leaning over and sifting through them, reading the ones he had—a variety of 90s artists—you pulled out one and curiously eyed it. 

Just as you were about to place it into the slot, the driver seat door opened as the young man entered with a case of beer. Eyeing it, settling down the tape, you sucked in a breath. “Beer?”

“I’m not about to have you chug vodka,” he shook his head as he settled in his seat, grabbing a pair of beer bottles and popping the lids open. “Here.”

Eyeing the bottle he handed over to you, you took the cold bottle in your hand and took in a small breath, never have tasting beer before.

He watched you stare at the bottle, contemplating whether or not to drink it. Taking his own to his lips as he continued eyeing you, he took a swig before settling his bottle down. “Staring at it won’t make it appear in your mouth.”

“I know…” you sighed. “I’ve never had beer before…”

“It’ll taste like shit at first,” he warned as you snapped him a look, “but then you’ll get used to it.”

Taking in a small breath as you looked back down at the beer, then over to the young man as he casually drank away at his, you gulped before bringing the bottle to your lips. 

Lowering his own as he watched you, a small smirk grew on his lips as your face scrunched up the moment you got your first taste. There was a hint of disgust in your reaction, but you didn’t let that stop you. No, instead you continued on

On and on until you grew… somewhat accustomed. 

“You are… right,” you breathed, “this tasted like shit but… it also isn’t so bad.”

Grinning, he nodded, clinking his bottle against yours, “what’s the prom queens name?”

Sniggering, you introduced yourself as you leaned your head back, now starting your third bottle, “and what’s yours, mysterious man?”

Keeping his eyes on you, taking a moment too long to respond—and considering  _ how _ to respond—his focus lingered, “Kylo.”

“ _ Kylooo _ …” you sang, “that’s an interesting name I’ve never heard of…” nodding your head, you smiled, “I like it.”

Taking in a small breath, he slightly smiled to himself, “thank you.” 

Over an hour had passed as the two of you drank away—more you than Kylo as he took it slow, not wanting to be too out of it to at least be the stable one for you. “Why were you… there? At the school… There should be… a lot of warning signs going around my head… but you look… so familiar!” You giggled as Kylo looked over at you. It must’ve been your first time drinking with how easily it was affecting you.

Taking in a small breath as he backed his car out of the parking spot and drove off, he answered, “I was dropping off my cousin…” he lied, but you didn’t pick up on that.

“Oh… I bet their date didn’t… ditch them…” you frowned as you took another sip from your bottle. 

“Your date may have ditched you, but he isn’t getting drunk and about to crash multiple prom after parties,” he winked over at you as you gasped. 

“Crash?” You nearly whispered. 

“Why not? If you couldn’t enjoy the party at the school, why not at someone’s house?”

Smiling at him, you eagerly nodded, “true! Oh! This sounds… exciting!”

Smirking, Kylo aimed for the first house of the night. He knew of them solely because of family friend’s kids who went to the same school as you had. He had actually planned what he was going to do with you before he had left, not wanting to have nothing to offer when he had  _ casually _ approached you.

And, as promised, Kylo had taken you to crash a party…  _ parties _ . The first one of the night wasn’t much, most were dates making out as others had been smoking on the couch or out in the backyard. You had stayed for only ten minutes—literally. The next house, however, was much better… until the owner of the house came in yelling at their son. The current home you were at—which you assumed to be the last since it was nearing almost one in the morning—was where you found yourself. 

You had lost count on how many drinks you had consumed. The pack of eight beers had been gone solely because you had dropped two outside of the car, drank three, and the other three were now in Kylo’s system. Unlike you, he handled his alcohol very well. 

To your luck, there had been faces you recognized—who asked where you had gone—but you simply ignored the questions and danced within the bodies gathered together in the living room. Of course, you were much too intoxicated to even properly answer them. 

Kylo was afraid he had made a mistake, allowing you to drink too much… Possibly why he limited you at every party, much to your dismay. But, you let it slide each time. 

Watching you dance and sing along to the music that blasted, hair slipping from the up-do it was in as strands hung along your face, Kylo leaned against a wall as he drank from a water bottle, carrying one at his side for you. “You’re having fun…” he said as you approached him. 

“Mhm!” You nodded, taking the bottle he handed you, “much… lots fun…” you breathed as he smiled. “Do I have to drink this because I drank… too much?”

“Mhm,” Kylo nodded his head. “I am not gonna have you drink more than your body can take. You have three beers in you, two shots—“

“I know… what I have in me! I wish I was like you…” you sighed and leaned your head against his chest chugging your water. 

“You really don’t…” he mumbled but you couldn’t hear him. 

Hearing someone sing into a microphone, you gasped as you spun around and nearly slumped your whole body against Kylo’s, “karaoke!” Pointing your finger, you stood up as straight as you could before looking over at Kylo.

“You can go sing if you’d like,” he pointed with his bottle as you smiled. 

“Cheer me on?” You asked.

“Sure,” he nodded his head once as you handed your bottle back to him. Kylo watched you stumble away in your heels, amazed you had yet to fall or twist an ankle. In all honesty, he was amazed by you in general. Not once had you cried about being stood up and missing your one and only senior prom… and you hadn’t even embarrassed yourself once. Although, to be fair, he helped you out a few times, preventing any accidents. 

After a good few minutes of you waiting and then trying to pick a song, the music began as Kylo couldn’t help but lift his eyebrows. 

“Yo, I’ll tell you what I want, what I really really want! So tell me watcha want watcha really want! I’ll tell you what I want, what I really really want! I wanna— I wanna— I wanna— I wanna really really really wanna zigazig ah!”

Watching you belt your lungs out as you sang to the crowd before you—that also sang along—Kylo felt a smile grow on his lips at the sight of you. You may not remember the night, but at least you were having the time of your life. Something he was sure not to forget. 

“The police! The police are coming!” Someone shouted as everyone began to panic, frantically running about. Sighing, Kylo shoved through the crowd and made his way to you. You were still standing on the table, singing, before he grabbed you in his arms and rushed right out. 

“Hey— Hey! I never fin— I never finished my song!” You frowned as Kylo brought you to his car, sitting you in the passenger seat and. buckling you in before he got into the driver’s. 

“The police were coming and I didn’t need us getting arrested,” he said as he swiftly drove off. 

“Bummer…” you frowned, slumping in the chair as you looked at the rear view mirror, seeing the flashing blue and red lights. “Where are we… gonna go now?”

“Where do you want to go?” Kylo asked as you took in a deep breath, then smiling. 

“The beach…”

Looking over at you for a moment, Kylo nodded, “the beach it is.”

You had never been to the beach at night, let alone, this early into the morning. It was nearing three in the morning and the idea of your parents worrying completely slipped your mind. Instead, you were focused… well, were you really focused? You  _ tried _ to focus on the now and live in the moment. The second Kylo had brought you to the beach, you kicked off you heels (in which Kylo collected) and loosened your hair as you took in the night breeze. 

Running along the shore, feeling the sand and water against your feed, you smiled brightly as Kylo watched—yet again—from afar. He sat on the sand and enjoyed the sight of you being happy. He was glad your mind was no longer on the wretched first hour of your night.

Looking over at Kylo, you clumsily hopped over to him before settling and resting beside him, leaning into his side. You stargazed, eyeing the dark sky and it’s stars before looking at the moon. Kylo had done the same and found peace in it as you had. It was something he caught you doing often whenever you were at his parents home… And to do it now with you… his heart felt full.

He knew he shouldn’t have, but he couldn’t help but imagine he was on a date with you. After all, there had been underlying feelings there he never wanted to uncover. Especially since he hardly he even knew—not even spoken to— you.

“We should get you back home,” Kylo said as he helped you to your feet. “It’s late.”

“Of course…” you sighed, walking closely beside him as you held his arm. “Tomorrow… is going to be hell, huh?”

“Possibly… but if you drink lots of water, it won’t hit as hard.”

Smiling up at him, you nodded as he helped you into his car and buckled in your seatbelt for you. “Thank you for tonight… mysterious yet not so mysterious guy…”

Taking in a small breath, Kylo nodded before walking to the driver’s seat and driving you home. 

To his amazement, you stayed awake the whole drive back. The beach wasn’t too far out as the city was close to nearly everything, but he had assumed you were going to at least knockout in any minute. He underestimated your adrenaline. 

You, however, never seemed to have questioned why it was that he knew where you lived the moment he parked before your house. Instead, you let out a small sigh, saddened in the fact that your adventurous night with a man you “just” met was reaching its end. 

“Don’t forget to drink lots of water,” Kylo said as you turned your head to look at him. 

You stared longer than expected, a drunken smile on your lips as a subtle blush grew on your cheeks. He was cute now that you thought about it, even if you were far too out of it to even properly look at him. He was different and you liked different. He wasn’t ideal nor was he up to society’s standards… but, to you, he was quite the masterpiece. 

“Prom queen?” Furrowing his eyebrows, almost afraid you were about to faint or puke your guts out, Kylo’s eyes widened the moment he realized what had happened. You were leaning over the glove box, hand keeping you propped up as your other dug into his hair. 

You kissed him. 


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Snoke makes a discovery Kylo never wanted.

Kylo’s heart had never raced this quickly before the moment he registered what happened. Feeling your lips against his, the gentle pressure of it and your hand in his hair made his stomach turn. He felt as if he had been holding his breath in for hours, chest wanting to explode as his skin tingled. 

Leaning away and eyeing him, cheeks red, your hazed mind realized what you had done. “I’m… sorry…” haphazardly turning and struggling to open the passenger door, you stumbled right out and left Kylo behind. 

“Sweetheart?” At the sound of Lela’s voice, you snapped out of your thoughts. 

Clearing your throat, you stood from your seat and gave the woman before you a small smile. “I should reach out to the two artists I have in mind,” you simply said, nodding your head, “is there anything else you need?”

Eyeing you and knowing you were avoiding the topic mentioned beforehand, Leia shook her head. “Nothing, that is all, my dear,” she sweetly smiled. 

“I will let you know of any updates if I’m able to get them to attend,” at that, you turned and exited her office. With a fluttering heart and a stomach turned inside out, you sucked in a breath. It had been a memory you long forgotten since you were intoxicated, but having Leia mention him, you had no choice but to remember. 

You had  _ kissed _ him. 

And you had never seen him again since that moment. 

Or so you  _ believed _ . 

* * *

“What… is that..?” The heavy, accented voice asked Kylo as the lanky man loomed in the foyer.

Looking over his shoulder as he had been walking ahead, Kylo furrowed his eyebrows, eyeing the fluffy cat that found herself nestled in a shelf filled with art supplies. “That is a  _ cat _ .”

“I am well aware of that, Ren. What is  _ it _ doing here?” Snoke asked, eyeing the cat with disgust. He was more of a… reptilian fan, owning his own snake. 

Looking back ahead as he rolled his eyes for his mentor not to see, Kylo answered, “ _ she _ is my neighborhood cat and also my house cat.”

“How does that work? You either own the animal or you let it be feral,” Snoke huffed. 

“I don’t own her. She does as she pleases. She has a human to rely on for food and shelter when she needs it,” Kylo explained as he lead Snoke to his collection of finished and unfinished pieces.

Following his apprentices lead and sighing at his logic of pet owning, Snoke eyed the brick wall that was plaster with multiple pieces being hung, “and what is the cat’s name?” He asked with a lack of enthusiasm. 

“Cat,” Kylo simply answered as Snoke narrowed his non existent eyebrows. 

“Cat? Why on Earth would you name your pet that?” He asked in confusion. 

“I had no name in mind.”

Shifting his eyes back to his apprentice, who shrugged with his response, Snoke shook his head, “why not name her after you, then?” He asked in utter annoyance. 

_ Why didn’t you name your snake after you? You two have a lot more alike than I do with my cat,  _ Kylo thought, but kept his sarcastic remarks at bay. “Cat sounds better.”

Groaning at Kylo’s response, Snoke’s eyes landed on a large canvas that had been covered with an oversized sheet. “Show me that,” he said with a pointed look as Kylo turned to face him. 

“That’s nothing,” he quickly responded, not wanting Snoke to see  _ that _ . The unfinished piece of you he made from memory. He wanted Snoke to know nothing about you. 

“ _ Show me, _ ” Snoke demanded as he glared at his apprentice. 

Shifting his jaw in aggravation, heartbeat stuttering at the fear of Snoke discovering you, Kylo nearly stomped over with balled fists before tugging the sheet down. It was almost as if he took a protective stance before it, just nearly blocking a portion of the unfinished piece with his body. Snoke had no right to see everything Kylo created… but to his dismay, Snoke gave Kylo nearly everything he had owned with the money he paid him…

“Hmmm... For once, something recognizable and tangible.”

Frowning at Snoke’s subtle attack to Kylo’s art, Kylo kept his eyes on the canvas and didn’t dare bother eyeing his master. “It’s simple figure drawing. Nothing more.”

“It must be something more if you have a model to pose for you. This isn’t someone you’ve made up in your head,” Snoke waved his free hand as his other was stuffed in the pocket of his slacks. “A beautiful woman as it seems.”

Snarling and tightening his fists, Kylo dug his nails into his skin. “Would you like to see… the other pieces?” Kylo nearly growled. 

“Who is she?”

Feeling his heart sink at Snoke’s question, Kylo gulped, “no one. A model I hired for a few hours,” he lied as Snoke lowered his eyes to the back of his apprentice’s head, then back over to the canvas.

“Show me the rest…” Snoke trailed, mind lingering on the still life painting. 

Kylo spent the next hour showing Snoke the variety of pieces he had made within the year, stacks upon stacks of canvases. Ninety percent of his work was action painting and Snoke grew more and more bored. “Is this all of it.”

Sucking in a small breath, reading his master well enough, Kylo nodded. “Yes, of the newest.”

“Mediocre.” With a huff and a shake of his head, Snoke walked away. 

Feeling his eye twitch his nostrils flared, Kylo snarled, “yet Hux’s work is outstanding?”

“Of course it is. It’s contemporary. Many people enjoy contemporary photography.”

“It’s  _ just _ buildings and people walking!” Kylo exclaimed as the heat lifted to his face. 

“And people enjoy that,” Snoke calmly responded as he aimed for the large canvas. 

“I do not make art for people to enjoy. I make art for me and for those who can relate to it. For those who want to interpret it! For those who actually enjoy deconstructing art!” Kylo’s voice rose as his fists tightened. “I don’t make shit art just because people want to buy it! That’s not my fucking purpose in all of this—“

“If you want me to keep funding you, to pay for this highly expensive loft of yours in which you let that atrocious cat live in, then you do as I say!” Snoke shouted back as he snapped his head in Kylo’s direction, shutting his apprentice up. Turning to face the large canvas once again, Snoke took in a deep breath. “Scrap all of that. Make more of  _ these _ .” 

Huffing as he gritted his teeth, Kylo watched Snoke study the painting of you. He should’ve hid it somewhere, he should’ve torn it out and rolled it up. Yet, here he was… exposing you to Snoke and screwing himself over. 

“Bring back that muse of yours, she catches the eye easily. These will make money.” At that, Snoke walked off, nearly ramming his foot into Cat as she hissed up at him. 

Fuming as he glared in the direction Snoke went in, he suddenly felt pressure against his ankle, catching his attention as he looked down to see Cat brushing against him. “He’s a pile crap, I know.” Catching his breath and loosening up his fists, throbbing palms with crescent marks that faint blood seeped from, he looked at your painting. “I can’t let him find out about who she really is…” Reaching into the pocket of his pants, pulling out a pearl choker you left behind in his car all those years ago, he eyed it, “ _ Ever _ .”

* * *

Adjusting the strap of your purse as you walked across the street and towards a two floor art gallery, you pulled open the glass door to be greeted by walls filled with art hung and leaning against them. “Hello?” You called out, instantly hearing footsteps and seeing someone peek from the second floor. Recognizing the face, you smiled as they grinned back, shrieking your name before rushing down the steps to greet you with a tight embrace. “Hey, Rey.”

“Finn told me we’d be having a guest today…” Rey said before pointing behind you, “thought it was that old lady…” she whispered as you chuckled. 

“I am the guest,” you winked. 

“What brings you here?” She asked. “Although… I was really hoping it’s because you want to go another round of DDR since the last time—“

“That I wiped your butt on the floor?” You arched an eyebrow as she rolled her eyes. 

“You beat me by this much!” Rey exclaimed as she lifted her index and thumb to show you the measurement. 

“Right…” You sighed. “As much as I’d love to stay and play DDR, I came to ask you and Finn—wherever he is—something.”

Sucking in a breath, Rey shook her head, “Finn!”

“I’m comin’... I’m trying to finish that threading for you,” Finn mumbled, yet, you heard him. 

Rushing down the steps and greeting you with a hug, he took Rey’s side before you cleared your throat, “Well I wanted to meet with you guys because the Resistance Magazine is holding an art gallery to promote their upcoming magazines as well as rising artists…”

Blinking, Rey grinned, “are you asking… Finn and I to—“

“Partake in this?” Finn finished. 

“Mhm…” You nodded. “You’ll be able to promote your art in the magazine, too. There’s more to it and I already emailed it to the both of you about when and where it’ll be held and how many pieces per person can be submitted. They want as many as they can get… well, can fit in the gallery.”

Turning their heads and eyeing one another, Finn and Rey smirked before speaking in unison, “we’re in!”

“Perfect!” You clapped, hugging the two of them. “Then I hope to see your works displayed,” you winked as you slowly backed up. 

“Already leaving?” Finn asked. 

“Bet she’s gonna ask other artists she knows…” Rey squinted her eyes at you as you shook your head. 

“To be fair, the two of you were the very first to come to mind,” you admitted. 

“Hmm…” Rey hummed. “I believe this.”

“Good, you should!” You pointed, turning around and aiming for the exit. “Love you both!”

“Love y—“

“Yeah, yeah!” Rey interrupted Finn. 

Pushing past the doors, letting out a small laugh at the sound of the two of them bickering the moment you reached the exit, you turned your focus ahead and nearly rammed into someone. “Oh, sorry!” You shrieked, lifting your eyes to meet with a blue pair belonging to a tall, blonde woman. 

Eyeing you for a moment as she recognized you, knowing very well you were Kylo’s supposed muse, Phasma took in a small breath, “it’s alright.”

Squinting your eyes for a moment and tilting your head, you smiled, “you look familiar… were you at the gallery yesterday? The one with—“

“Yes. The only tall blonde in the building,” she cut you off with a nod, saving you some time. She knew she shouldn’t have done this, knew she shouldn’t mingle with Ren’s personal life… but, she couldn’t help it. If he knew you—and he didn’t know many people as he chose to be antisocial—she  _ had _ to know you. “My name is Phasma,” she stuck her hand out for you to shake. 

Introducing yourself as you took her hand in yours, you grinned, “I’ve never heard of your name, it suits you.”

“It’s a stage name,” she simply shrugged, “people would remember the name Phasma once I’m gone.”

“Interesting…” you slowly nodded, “are you an artist?”

Smirking, she nodded, “yes, I create sculptures.”

Raising your eyebrows, you suddenly grew excited, “really? That’s perfect!”

“How so?” Phasma arched an eyebrow. 

“I am looking for young or up and coming artists for an art show that’ll promote a magazine I work with,” you explained. 

“Magazine?”

“Resistance Magazine! Not sure if you’ve heard of it, it surrounds the arts but mainly fashion and pop culture,” smiling up at her, you had a sudden idea in mind. Reaching into your purse and pulling out your phone, you unlocked it and opened an app, “it even has its own app.”

_ We don’t even have that… _ “That’s something…” Phasma said as she eyed it. “And what is that you do?” She asked, lifting her eyes to meet to yours. 

“I actually am in grad school for business but I am also a fashion designer,” You nodded, “well, I will be taking over my father’s line.”

“The daughter of a fashion designer, hmm…” Phasma thought out loud.  _ What has Ren gotten himself into? A fashion designer? That works with the Resistance? This idiot _ . 

“Yes… Would you be interested?” You tilted your head. 

Thinking about how it would affect her if her mentor found out, Phasma bit her tongue. Then she thought about the idea of Kylo finding out and possibly murdering her… she didn’t doubt that he’s killed someone… at least  _ once _ . “I’ll see… When will it be held?”

“Do you have an email? I can email the invitation to you!” You nodded. 

“Yes, I do.”

“Perfect!” Opening up your notes app and typing out the email she had given you, you placed your phone back into your purse. “I’ll send it to you when I can.”

“Looking forward to it,” she winked as you smiled, walking past her and aiming back for the Resistance Tower. 

Watching you walk away, Phasma turned to eye the building you came from, recognizing what artists worked in there. Shaking her head and rolling her eyes, Phasma walked off. She couldn’t help but wonder what was so special about you that had Kylo’s attention. 

Pulling out her phone from her pocket, Phasma scrolled through her recents before tapping a contact, “I have an event I think you’d like to attend. Once I get the information I’ll send it to you. You’ll thank me later, Ren.”


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A surprise visit couldn’t hurt nobody... maybe?

The sound of the dial tone snapped Kylo out of his trance as he stared at your balcony. With a fluttering heart and a hand wrapped in gauze, Kylo settled his house phone down. He always knew there had to have been a reason he kept the landline… he just didn’t expect it to be because he threw his cell phone out the window…

Hearing a meow come from behind as Cat rubbed against Kylo’s legs, he turned his focus back ahead. “I look like a fucking stalker…” he said to himself, eyeing your apartment. “I can’t believe she lives right there…”

“ _ Mrrrrow _ …”

“If you’re telling me to talk to her, you ought to be the dumbest cat—“ cutting himself off, he rolled his eyes, “I’m talking to a damn cat.”

Your day had been longer than expected, scouting artists for the gallery and then working on online assignments. You couldn’t wait to graduate and finish school for good. You just wanted the degree and move on from there. 

Entering your apartment, kicking off your heels and placing them back in your closet, you stripped to just your undergarments and tossed yourself on your bed. Your stomach was rumbling but you were much too lazy to get up and make something. Instead, you rolled onto your back and stared at your ceiling and thought of  _ him _ . 

“Ben Solo…” you muttered to yourself. Heat made its way to your cheeks as you blushed. You had the biggest crush on the man you had only over seen a handful of times in your life. You had forgotten that night—but not because of your drunken state—rather the fact that you had never seen him again. 

He had disappeared and his parents hardly ever spoke about him. It was almost as if he never had existed. And it pained you, for he had been all you thought about night and day… until you forced yourself to forget.

Of course… you had only known him as Kylo and not Ben. But now that you had thought back, putting the pieces together, you were right about him being a Solo. And you had known him beforehand without realizing it until it was too late. 

Rolling onto your side, feeling your face burn up at the thought of him… your mind then moved to the sunglasses man. To the man across the street. 

Had that been him?

It had to have been… but this man was larger. Much larger than the lanky boy you had met all those years back. He also had longer hair and carried himself much differently…

Had he recognized you? Was that why he stared?

The idea made your blush deepen… You still liked him. 

Burying your face into a pillow, gushing in your mind over a man you had spoken to once, you felt your insides turn. You felt like your teen self all over again, thinking about him, imagining him…  _ wanting _ him.

But this wasn’t the same. You two were adults now… and he no longer was missing. He was right there, a building away… but approaching him so suddenly wasn’t an option. 

At least, not yet.

Forcing yourself out of bed, lazily pulling on a robe and aiming for your kitchen to conjure up a dinner that would suppress your hunger, you eventually found yourself sitting on your couch and eating your meal as you watched TV. Your night was quiet and to yourself, not hearing much from Poe as he was always out and about traveling—even with Buddy if it wasn’t too far. The silence wasn’t so bad… from time to time. 

Cleaning up your dishes and the kitchen, you aimed back for your bedroom, only to slow in your tracks. Aiming for your balcony, you slid the door open and walked out into the chilly atmosphere. Looking up at the moon and stars, your focus fell to the loft.  _ His _ loft. 

Your heart skipped a beat as your eyes met with his. He sat on his balcony, cigarette in hand and book in the other as a cat sat on his lap. Staring at one another as your heart began to race, you watched as he stood up with his cat and entered his home, leaving you with a small frown on your lips. 

And this happened for a good month. Nearly five weeks passing of this happening every single night with nothing being said or done. It always ended with you spotting him and him quickly disappearing. 

“This looks absolutely wonderful!” Leia exclaimed, eyeing the gallery filled with art from a variety of artists you were able to roundup. “Thank you so much for this, dear,” she smiled as she held her hands together. 

“Of course!” You nodded. “I’m excited for this, so much art… and models… everywhere,” you chuckled. The gallery was rather large and the set up was stunning. Sculptures and paintings galore, their respective artists there socializing with one another. 

“This is amazing, thank you for this opportunity!” Rey hugged you as Finn had done the same, earning a smile from Leia. 

“I should’ve known you two were the two she had in mind first,” Leia winked as Rey and Finn beamed. 

“Who else would she think of?” Rey asked. “We are the only  _ worthy _ artists she knows.”

“She did get all these other artists as well,” Leia pointed out as Rey slumped her shoulders. 

“Thank you for that,” she sighed. 

“C’mon, Rey, I have a few people I want you to meet,” Finn said as he took her hand. 

“You’re lucky I don’t mind you taking my hand anymore!” 

Watching the two walk away with a smile, your heart sank as you spotted a lean figure enter the gallery. Sucking in a breath, turning to find Leia—who had already been in another conversation with someone else—your heart raced as you looked back. 

“We were in the middle of creating a—“

“No way in hell…” Rey mumbled, catching Finn’s attention as he turned his focus from the trio before the two of them. “Why the—“

“You’re kidding me…” Finn blinked with wide eyes, recognizing the man that stood at the entrance. “Why is  _ he _ here?”

Staring at the man as you took in shallow breaths, you suddenly felt a hand wrap around your own and spin you around. “Look at you!”

Trying to steady your breathing, you gulped, “P— Poe!”

“Yes, it’s me. I’m a bit late, I know. But, to be fair, I needed someone to watch Buddy,” he said with a smile, then eyeing your dress. “Is this something your father designed?”

“I… did actually,” you nodded, almost feeling lightheaded. 

“Really? You’re going to do so well carrying on your father’s legacy,” Poe smiled, eyeing the midnight blue dress you wore. It reached just above your ankles, had thin strips, and a very low v cut on your chest. 

“Thanks…” you breathed, trying to put your focus on Poe rather than the man you were in awe to see. How had he known about the event? Had he been there the same way Poe had to attend the one from weeks before?

“Are you alright?” Poe asked. “You don’t seem… all here?”

“Yeah! Yeah… I’m okay,” you nodded, sucking in a deep breath. “I’m glad you came! Leia worked really hard on this and—“

“Holy shit…” Poe unintentionally interrupted, eyes looking past you. “This can not be a coincidence…”

“Huh?” Furrowing your eyebrows, you turned to follow in which direction Poe had been looking in, suddenly meeting eyes with—

“Kylo fucking Ren.”

Feeling your heart in your throat as you stared at him with worried eyes, the man eyed you, then lifted his focus for a moment before he frowned. It was almost as if he had snarled at the sight of something or someone. With a sudden turn, he went the opposite direction, sparing you a glance. 

“That was odd as hell… I’m not surprised.” 

Turning to look back at Poe, then in the direction Kylo went in, you rubbed your forehead. Who  _ hadn’t _ known about him? 

“Just like that cheap art show we went to,” Poe said as you turned your focus back to him. 

“What— What do you mean?” You narrowed your eyebrows. 

“I didn’t say anything, but every time I’d lift my eyes from you as we talked, that asshole was looking our way,” Poe claimed as your eyes nearly grew in size. 

None of this should’ve seemed as a surprise, you should’ve expected the boy you once knew to appear out of nowhere with the mysterious aura he always held. But… like this? You were intrigued, curious, and… frustrated. 

“I don’t know why he was looking at you most of the time when he doesn’t even know you,” Poe said, catching your attention and stealing you from your thoughts. “Fucking creep.”

Feeling your cheeks burn up as you looked away, not wanting your best friend to see you in this state, you bit your tongue. You needed to confront him, you needed to know what happened.

“Hey, where’re you going? I didn’t mean to scare you, it’s not like he’s your stalker—“

“No, no! You didn’t, I just… I remembered I need to find my dad! I haven’t seen him yet and he’s really bad at using his phone…” you lied, waving your hand in the air dismissively as Poe narrowed his eyebrows. “I’ll see you in a bit!”

Watching you rush off, suspicious as to the sudden change of mood, Poe looked over to the entrance of the gallery, then the direction you were going in. Trying not to think too much into it, he took in a deep breath before turning away to find Leia. 

“I hope the storm doesn’t hit anytime soon, I wanna leave before it rains,” a middle aged woman said as she stood next to another one, both admiring a painting. 

“Fall thunderstorms are awful with how windy and cold they get. Feels like a tornado is coming.”

Tuning their conversation out, you eyed the gallery, walking around walls and through small crowds in hopes you’d find him. If he wasn’t going to approach you, then you had to approach him. You didn’t want it any other way… Not after how you left things with him.

Where could he have gone? He couldn’t have gone anywhere too far… you would’ve noticed… but the gallery was rather large and held in a small warehouse, the odds of him leaving through another entrance were high. What was it that happened between him and Poe that had upset him? You hardly even knew why those who worked with Resistance Magazine did not like The First Order art group… At least Phasma seemed pleasant… somewhat.  

“Excuse me!” You approached an old man, “have you seen a tall man with dark hair? He was wearing all black… looked upset?” You asked in hopes you’d get a positive answer. 

“I think so… Was he kind of pale? Looked like he need a good shot or two?” He asked as you eagerly nodded. “I saw him walk out that way—“

Seeing him point, you instantly thanked him before rushing off. You went straight to the coat hanger to grab your coat, slipping past anyone who would question where it was that you were going when the event had only just begun. They wouldn’t have understood… and you couldn’t possibly tell them. 

Pushing the door open and slipping on your coat, you rushed along the wet concrete as the rain began to pour down. You had nothing on you but your phone, leaving everything behind with Leia’s own stuff, but that wasn’t an issue, all that was on your mind was getting to Kylo. You had to see him, you had to speak to him, and you couldn’t believe it took you this long to realize and get the motivation to do so. 

Your apartment building wasn’t too far from where the gallery was held, but being in heels, in a formal dress, with a coat getting soaked did not help your cause. You were starting to freeze up, teeth chattering as you tried picking up your pace in hopes you wouldn’t fall. 

Seeing the familiar buildings in the distance, your eyes spotted a lingering cat clawing at the entrance doors, meowing. You recognized the cat easily—Kylo’s cat. After weeks of seeing the animal with Kylo on his balcony, you knew that fur coat. 

Rushing across the street, being honked at as cab and Uber drivers slammed their brakes, you reached over for the cat and pulled open the buildings door. “I don’t know where exactly to—“ feeling the cat hop out of your arms and walk off, you sucked in a breath, eyed the lobby you were in, then followed. Seeing the cat stop before a door, you pulled it open, revealing a staircase as she made her way up—you following shortly behind. 

At this point, your feet were aching from the running in the rain and walking a number of flights of stairs just to find the cats home. You knew wherever the cat was leading you, was where Kylo was… or… at least you hoped he was in there. Where else would he have been at this hour of the night? You normally saw him on the balcony at this time.

“Mrrrrow…” Watching as the cat waited for you to open the door of the designated floor, you followed on before the fluffy being came to a stop. Eyeing the loft door, you lifted your fist and knocked your knuckles against the metal surface.

Your heart was doing a dance in your chest and making its way up your throat as you grew anxious and eager. You didn’t even know what you were going to say, you were running on adrenaline, and that adrenaline was starting to run really low. 

Hearing the door unlock, you took in a deep breath before feeling your heart stop as the man you had been hunting down stood before you. 

Your lips were about to part, ready to spill a river of words, but the moment the cat slid into the home, the owner—with an unhappy expression—shut the door on you. 

Standing there with wide eyes, almost gasping in offense, your shoulders slumped as you sighed. You should’ve known better. Maybe he was staying distant for a reason and you were ruining that… But why would he?

Turning around and aiming for the elevator—rather than the staircase—you heard rustling come from behind before a hand clasped onto your wrist and pulled you away.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Things are about to get steamy! I hope you all are enjoying and so sorry for the delay!


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He’s waited for this moment for so long...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Things are about to get... hot-ish... next chapter is where the smut comes in!

Kylo felt like a complete fool. Why had he shut the door on you? Why was he giving you an uncomfortable glare when all he wanted was to be  _ this _ close to you?

The second he had shut the door, he stood there with round eyes, realizing the mistake he had made. His heart sank at the thought of you, how you were soaked from head to toe in rainwater, those soft eyes that pleaded for warmth that he and  _ only _ he could give. Kylo felt his chest tighten as he mentally cursed himself for being an imbecile. 

He wasn’t about to have you go back out in the rain and fall ill, neither was he about to have this once in a lifetime chance slip from his grasp when you were _ right there _ . 

Opening the door and seeing you walk off, he rushed towards you and grabbed your wrist, turning you around as you looked up at him in complete awe. He stayed silent. You stayed silent. Nothing but the sound of the rain pouring down and the building’s air conditioner kicking in.

Quietly, Kylo pulled you with him, backing up and not breaking eye contact before he turned around and lead you into his home. Shutting the door and not letting his grip slip from you—as if afraid you’d leave—the nighttime thunderstorm lit up the living room where the two of you stood. Staring at one another. In silence. 

He hadn’t noticed till then that you were shivering. In a matter of seconds, his hand slid from your wrist and took his long strides to grab a towel for you as you were left in the loft to wander on your own. 

Eyeing the vast space filled with art supplies scattered about, canvases stacked against the wall, paint splattered on the floor, your eyes landed on a large white tarp. Walking towards it and lifting it, your eyes widened as you tugged it to reveal a large portrait of you… followed by multiple smaller ones beside it. Sucking in a small breath as your cheeks filled with heat, you turned your head towards the wall filled with windows—where the balcony sat—and spotted a taped up hole. Then, your eyes fell on to your own balcony through the heavy downpour. Lowering your focus, you spotted a table filled with paints and tools, then a small sketchbook. 

Rushing down the few steps that lead to the small room above his kitchen, Kylo slowed his pace as he spotted you. You stood before the window, glowing in the lightnings wake, turning the pages of his sketchbook. Feeling his heart sink, his eyes snapped over to the tarp that was now half on. 

You had seen it all. 

He should’ve expected this. 

Hearing a small noise, you lifted your focus to give Kylo a sweet smile. “I should be weirded out… but they’re all beautiful,” you truthfully spoke as Kylo stood in silence, holding the towel and a robe for you as he had nothing else that could possibly fit you. “How long have you been drawing me?”

“A month.”

“A month…” you nodded, looking back at the sketchbook. “And you’ve made so much already…” you couldn’t help but widen your grin. “I should be paid for this,” you teased, closing the sketchbook and settling it down before you walked over to him. “Why did you leave?” You asked, taking the towel and robe in your hands. 

“I had to…” Kylo nearly mumbled, turning away to fill Cat’s bowl with food. 

“I was really upset,” you started as Kylo maneuvered around his kitchen. “I really liked you. I had only really known you for a few hours and you had me. And then I kissed you and I thought that had scared you away,” your words then made Kylo freeze. “I never saw you again. I thought maybe I would… somehow. I just never knew you were Han and Leia’s son… or I didn’t really put two and two together since I never saw Ben Solo around… and you introduced yourself as Kylo.”

“I saw you with him,” Kylo spoke up, back facing you. 

“Him?” Your eyebrows narrowed, then realizing who he meant. “I had shut the door on him. He tried excusing himself with some bogus story that I didn’t believe.” Walking over to him as he filled the bowl—in which Cat had rushed to—you grabbed his hand and turned him. 

Kylo’s eyes landed on your chest first, refusing to look you in the eyes as he stayed silent. A big mistake at the low cut dress you had been in. He forced himself to look at your neck instead, but you reached for his chin, causing him to look you in the eyes for a moments worth. Then he looked up at the ceiling. 

Sighing, you let go of his hand and chin, swallowing before taking a step back. “I should go home.”

Snapping his eyes down, he caught your hand, “you can’t.”

“Why?” You blinked. 

“You have nothing on you…” he pointed out as you eyed yourself, realizing he was right. You sighed and stayed in his hold. “Stay…”

“What choice do I have?” You softly asked as Kylo took in a deep breath, gazing into your eyes before he pointed in the direction where the bathroom was, slipping his grip from you as you slowly walked away from him. 

Watching you, Kylo hadn’t realized how fast his heart had been racing… and how tight his pants felt. Sucking in a deep breath and walking towards his canvases covered in images of you, he thought about Snoke. He thought about his interest in you and how… obsessive it had become. Snoke had asked almost daily about Kylo’s work that included you—in a manner that was abnormal. 

He feared Snoke had an unhealthy interest revolving you and he wanted the man nowhere near you. And that could only be possible if he kept you close.

“It’s… a bit big…” you said from behind Kylo, causing him to turn around, seeing you tug the collar of the robe back up your shoulder as it kept falling. “But... it’s better than wet clothes.”

Eyeing you, then lowering his eyes to where the robe kept slipping, exposing your shoulder, he quietly gulped. All those years he hadn’t seen you he thought about that kiss. He thought about what could’ve been. He thought about where he would’ve been if he had stayed. 

He was a fool to have assumed you had allowed that boy into your life after leaving you at prom, but now knowing you hadn’t, he regretted leaving so suddenly.

“I never asked you… if you had enjoyed that night…” Kylo muttered, eyeing you as a small smile grew on your lips. 

“I did kiss you… didn’t I?” You asked as Kylo took in a small breath. “I think that’s a definite answer of how much I enjoyed my night with you.”

Standing in silence, gazing at you, your wet hair… and that sweet smile on your lips. You were just as beautiful—if not more—since that day you kissed him. There was no one that ever compared to you, no one that was as breathtaking as you… probably why he never lasted in any relationships. He never wanted to be with anyone unless it was  _ you _ . 

“I don’t regret it…” you broke the silence as Kylo blinked, shifting his eyes out of his trance and looking into your own. He was a quiet person. He wasn’t much for words, so the silence wasn’t overbearing… but the way he looked at you was. It made your heart race faster than it should’ve. “I don’t regret kissing you… I never did,” you confessed. “I may have been drunk, but I liked it. I liked the feeling of my lips against yours. I liked how fast my heart raced when I realized what I had done. I liked it… and I liked you. I hardly knew you and you just… won me over so easily.”

Taking in a quiet, deep breath, Kylo felt his insides twist at your confession. He had been dreaming, he must’ve been, this was all he wanted for so long. Yet, he was awake, and you were right there before him, and all he could do was just  _ stare _ at you. 

Kylo’s silence made your heart skip a beat as your eyebrows furrowed. You were afraid he didn’t feel the same… or that you were being too confrontational. After all… this had been the second time the two of you had interacted. But there was something about him… and there was something in you that made it all feel  _ right _ . As if he was the one for you—as cheesy as it seemed. You weren’t a firm believer in love at first sight, and you weren’t entirely sure soulmates existed, but there was something about the man before you that made it feel like he—

“I wish I had...” he broke his silence as you snapped out of your deep thoughts, “kissed you…”

Smiling up at him as your heart expanded in size, your shoulders fell at ease as the weight lifted from them. Those six words were enough for you to know that there was something there, something you could strive for. But… were you ready to just dive in and kiss him?

Walking around him aiming for his wall of windows, you quietly sat on one of the windowsills as Kylo turned and watched you. His blood was pumping through his veins and his skin felt hot. He expected something, he believed you would’ve made a move after the confessions made… yet, there you were, watching the rain fall as distant lighting clapped and rippled through the sky. 

Finding the simple beauty in you gazing out into the thunderstorm, Kylo reached for his sketchbook and picked up a pen he found lying around. Lifting a stool and moving it to sit across from you, Kylo opened up a free page and began marking it with ink. He spent a good ten minutes sketching you on the sheet before you looked over and gave him a loving smile. You were well aware that you had been his muse, and what better way to make it easier for him then to act like one?

Eyeing you before he was about to look back down to his sketchbook, his focus got caught on your hands. They settled on the knot that held the robe together. With a slow tug, the silk belt of the robe came apart as the coverage fell open exposing your chest in a teasing manner before you allowed it to fall to your hips. 

Feeling his heart sink at the sight of your naked torso, Kylo swallowed what felt like a rock in his throat as his skin began to burn. His palms were suddenly sweaty as his skin tingled with urges. He had never seen you like this, not even the times he drew you from your apartment. He gulped as his pants grew tighter and tighter. It was hard not to stare at you… and your bare chest. 

“Consider me your model,” you softly spoke, still wearing that gentle smile, “like those in figure drawing lessons.”

Biting his tongue and nodding, Kylo’s shaky hand turned to the next page of his sketchbook as he peeled his eyes away from you. It wasn’t even your full body, yet, he reacted this way. He just wanted to feel your bare skin against his palms. He wanted to kiss you and makeup for all those years lost. He wanted to bring you pleasure in ways no one else could. But he couldn’t. He had to remind himself of that. 

Standing up and aiming for his couch, resting against it as all that was covered was your hips and a small portion of your thighs, you gave Kylo a grin as he lifted his eyes and turned his head to find you. Watching him awkwardly adjust in his seat, you let out a small chuckle, causing him to blush. “Why don’t you paint me instead?” You asked as Kylo looked at you, quietly nodding and nearly tripping over his own feet as he went to prepare an easel.

The entirety of the time, Kylo felt as if his heart was louder than his own thoughts as it pounded against his ribs. Every chance he got to look at you, his stomach would turn as his muscles tensed up. It felt like torture, not being able to touch you, and he wasn’t even tied up. 

And he was starting to wonder if you did this on purpose. 

After an hour or so of painting, Kylo looked over at you and realized your eyes had closed. Furrowing his eyebrows, he settled down his brush and palette before he walked towards you. Carefully poking your shoulder, he sighed as you stayed still. Biting his tongue, he carefully adjusted you so he could fix the robe. He wrapped his arm around your back and brought the robe over your shoulders, just enough to cover you. As he was about to lay you back down and pull his arm away, your eyes had slowly opened. “I was—“

Lifting yourself enough, you pressed your lips against his, moving your hand to rest against the back of his neck. 

In the end, you knew yourself: you wanted to kiss him again after so long. 


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Both you and Kylo get what you want after so long... but what if someone comes in to ruin it?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> NSFW/Smut ahead!

Your lips were intoxicating. Kylo couldn’t believe the situation he was now in, feeling as if it was your prom night all over again—except this time he wasn’t going to let you slip away. 

Pushing away, Kylo looked down at you as he took in a deep breath. You had pleading eyes, as if wanting the warmth of his lips back on yours and for them to never leave your own. The softness of your complexity, the eagerness of your fingertips digging into his skin, the way your lips parted as you caught your breath. 

Lifting his hand and caressing your cheek with the back of his finger, feeling your body shiver, Kylo cupped your face and leaned back in to kiss you. It started off gentle, savoring the moment and the taste of your lips. He felt the softness of them against his own, the way they perfectly fit against his. But he was growing antsy and your grip slipped into his hair...

Kylo’s heart began to race as he moved his lips in a hungry manner against yours. His wildest fantasies roaming freely in his mind as his hands began to shake with the desire to feel every inch of you. Pressing his knee in between your legs as your breathing grew heavy with every chance you got, Kylo’s hands slid along your shoulders and down to your breasts. Giving them a squeeze, Kylo’s lips fell from your own as a moan escaped him. His forehead was resting against your chin as he sat there, frozen with your bare breasts in his grip. 

Kylo felt his skin burn up as his fingers pressed into your breasts and massaged them, a vivid fantasy coming to life. A groan slipped his lips as a grin grew on your face. Feeling your fingers slither into his hair, Kylo’s head was forced to face yours as your lips pressed against his once again. 

Shifting your hips against his knee as your heart skipped a beat, Kylo’s hands caressed your sides. His large hands encased you so easily as he pressed his digits into your skin, harder than expected as he moaned into your shared—sloppy—kiss. Untying your robe and gliding his palms against your hips, he realized you had no underwear on, causing him to cautiously lift his hands away. 

But then your hands slid from his hair and brought his touch back down. 

He felt himself tremble with the itching need to be in you. The way your tongue pressed against his and how your skin felt against his palms only made his pants feel like they were suffocating him. Kylo was antsy and lustful, his heart felt as if it was about to combust with how fast it began to race. He imagined himself unzipping his pants, pulling his length out, and ramming right into you. The years of regret… the years of waiting, they were growing on him—now more than ever. 

Keeping your hand on his and guiding it down your thigh and closer to your heat, the warmth radiated onto him as he unintentionally clutched onto your thigh. Moving your free hand onto the back of his head, kissing him until your lips went numb, you rolled your hips against his hand as a small whine translated what you wanted. 

Kylo’s fingers slid up your slit as your heart fluttered, the warmth making him harshly bite down on your bottom lip. His shoulders fell as his body nearly collapsed on your own; but he forced himself to stay hovered as he felt your heat again against his thick fingers while you began to grind your hips against his hand. 

Finding your sensitive bud, Kylo began to rub circles against it as you mewled, kisses moving to his chin as you couldn’t focus on it no longer. You began to hump his hand as you grew more and more eager to feel  _ more _ . His finger rubbed harshly against your clit as you tugged his hair, free hand gripping his wrist as your hips had a mind of their own. You wanted him to keep touching you there, you wanted his finger to move faster, you wanted him to make you  _ soak _ his robe. 

Realizing he was now kissing above your lip, rather than your actual lips, Kylo moved down to your jaw and bit along it as he slid a finger into your entrance, causing you to gasp. He felt how wet you were becoming and took that to his advantage, slipping a second finger into you as he pumped at a staggered beat. He couldn’t keep a steady pace, enjoying the sounds you were making and loving the feeling of your tightness around his fingers. 

Biting your shoulder as you moaned into his ear, trying to match the movement of your hips with that of his fingers, Kylo wrapped his arm around your waist and steadied you—and you weren’t fond of that. You whined again as you tried taking advantage of his fingers in you, but instead, Kylo took this to his advantage and added a third finger; making you cry out his name in pure satisfaction. 

Reaching his thumb up to your bundle of nerves as he left a trail of bites up your shoulder and neck, your fingers wove their way into his hair. Tugging and pulling on the strands, Kylo tried to kiss you once again but failed when you came. You breathed against one another as your fingers slipped from his hair, hands falling to your sides. 

Pulling out, Kylo leaned back and looked down at you. You had a lazy grin on your lips, pleased and… almost as if you wanted that for a while. 

Sitting up, reaching for the hem of his shirt and pulling it over his head to remove it, you gave his neck a gentle peck before leaving a trail down his throat and to his chest. Lifting your hands and caressing his torso—from his shoulders to his hip bones—your hands touched his pecks as his breathing staggered. Looking him in the eyes, you pinched his nipples as a small yelp left his lips, “ _ fuck _ …”

Kissing against his hard muscles, leaving small bite marks against his chest, you slid your fingers along the lining of his abs. Moving your hand to his pants, you groped his hardened member and tugged at his belt hoop before Kylo pushed you back enough to hold your chin. Sucking his three fingers before you, he pulled you into a passionate kiss. His tongue slid past your lips as he kept you in place while you palmed him. 

Shifting yourself and straddling him, you ran your fingers through his hair as your lips refused to leave his. Your bare chest pressed against his as Kylo’s large hands grabbed handfuls of your ass. Feeling him lift you off of the couch and blindly walk you up the short steps, your body soon felt the comfort of a mattress and sheets. 

Pressing his knees on either side of your hips as he kept kissing you, lips moving together in sync, Kylo kissed you until you were exhausted. He fell to his side, bringing you with him as he turned you. His left hand cupped your cheek as his right pressed your lower back into him. 

Growing breathless and tired, the two of you leaned away and gazed at one another. Kylo caressed your cheek before he traced your throbbing lips. You stared at him with softness in your eyes, reaching over and resting your hand against his beating heart. The silence was underwhelming, the late night showers easing the quietness. You liked it. You felt ease. Something you hadn’t felt in a long time. 

Rolling on top of him as you nuzzled your face into his neck, kissing his jaw, you softly spoke up, “that was a nice way to catch up…” you joked as a small smile grew on Kylo’s lips. 

“I’d say it’s payment for the modeling,” he teased as you chuckled. 

“That’s fair,” you smiled. “I always think about that night… about the what if’s…” trailing your finger along his collar bone, you sighed. “Like… what if I never kissed you…”

“Then we wouldn’t be here right now,” Kylo simply answered.

“What if you kissed me?” You softly asked. 

“Then, you wouldn’t be where you are in your life…” he quietly spoke as you frowned. 

“Why’s that?”

“I would’ve held you back. I have too much baggage…” Kylo mumbled, but you lifted yourself enough to look him in the eyes. “Believe me.”

“I don’t.” Shaking your head, you gazed at him. “Because I’d want to be with you anyway.”

Eyeing you, Kylo kissed you and pushed you back before he rolled on you, burying his face in your neck as he held you tight. “Too sweet.”

Grinning, you rubbed your fingers against his scalp as the two of you fell asleep. 

And just like that, hours flew by, and the sound of a loud knock woke the two of you up. “Answer your door, Ren!”

Feeling his heart sink, Kylo lifted his head. 

It was Snoke. 


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A sudden appearance causes a sudden rift...

Kylo’s heart raced as he woke up in a panic, a bit out of it as  he was quick to sit up and instantly wrap you in his sheets. 

“Wh— What is it?” You rubbed your eyes, using one of your hands to hold the sheets to your body. 

“Ren!” The voice boomed. 

Shivering, you frowned and looked up at Kylo, “who’s that?”

“I need you to hide,” Kylo responded in a panicked tone, pulling a shirt on. 

Sucking in a sharp breath as you looked up at him, your frown deepened, “Kylo?”

Turning to you and cupping your cheeks, he looked you in the eyes, “please… I don’t want you meeting them. It’s for your betterment. I don’t want them knowing of you.”

Gulping as your heart sank, you grew more concerned as you took in shallow breaths. Kylo noticed. He was quick to kiss your forehead and lips, pressing his nose against yours in reassurement. “Kylo…”

“Please, my muse, it’s for your own good,” he said as he leaned back and looked you in the eyes. “ _ Please _ .”

Taking in a deep breath, you nodded, “okay.”

Kissing your cheekbone, Kylo slid his hands from your face, “stay in here, don’t peek out the window,” he pointed, “okay?”

“Mhm,” you nodded again, holding the sheets to your chest. 

“Stay low… I’m sorry.” Just as he was about to rush out the door, you clasped onto his hand and turned him to you. Sitting up on your knees, keeping a tight grip on the sheets, you give him a strong peck on the lips before letting you go. 

Looking at you and giving you a gentle, heartfelt smile, Kylo opened and closed the door and sprinted down the small steps, towards the foyer. 

You leaned back on the bed, trying to steady your racing heart. Pulling the sheets higher, above your shoulders, you nestled yourself into the bed and gazed at the ceiling filled with sketches he pinned all over it. You had hoped Kylo wasn’t in some sort of trouble. 

Spotting cat and hearing her hiss at the door, Kylo lifted her up and placed her amongst the art supplies before he opened the door. “About time. I waited for a good ten minutes calling you.”

“My phone is broken.”

“What did you do to it this time?” Snoke hissed as he forced himself into the loft. “Slam it on the floor? Throw it at your fridge? Crush it in those bear hands of yours?” He spoke with a lack of enthusiasm as Kylo snarled. 

“I threw it out the window,” he breathed, keeping his composure for you (and himself). 

“That's a new one to add to the list.” Shaking his head and eyeing the home, Snoke spotted the house phone. “At least there’s that,” he pointed as Kylo looked over. 

“I need you to harass me in some way, don’t I?” Kylo smirked as Snoke shot him a dirty look. 

“Do you not care for the way you present yourself? Your hair is a disaster and your pants are awfully wrinkled. No wonder you’re single and have no friends,” Snoke spat as Kylo bit his tongue. 

He thought about you. 

And you thought about him. 

You overheard the conversation and didn’t like the man already. If only he knew why the owner of the loft looked like a disaster. 

You stifled a laugh and covered your mouth. A piece of you wished you left visible bite marks on his jaw and upper neck. 

“Anyhow, is there any progress?” He asked, eyeing the stacks of paintings. 

“I got to fingerfuck her so, yeah,” Kylo mumbled to himself. 

“What?” Snoke looked over, unable to hear his apprentices words. 

“Not really...” Kylo lied as Snoke turned back and suddenly found something intriguing. 

An instant smile grew on his face. “This…” Snapping his head over, Kylo’s heart sank. He had forgotten to cover your painting. The unfinished one from the night before. “Wonderful. This is even better. Much better. You are… for once, improving,” Snoke sighed as Kylo clenched his jaw, heart skipping a beat. “The beauty of this is surreal… goddess like. An angel. Those curves and that hair… the expression… the robe hanging loosely at her waist. Renaissance like… except, she is much more stunning and appealing than the models of the time.”

Feeling his stomach flip as his heart plummeted to his feet, Kylo’s breathing grew quick. He was growing sick. He was disgusted. 

He was angry. 

“Who is she? I would love to paint her sometime.”

“She’s booked for months now,” Kylo quickly responded as his face flushed with heat. “She only models for one person at a time. She’s part time.”

Now on your knees and listening in on the conversation, your eyebrows narrowed as you frowned in distaste. Whoever the man was seemed a little too… fond of you for your liking. The way he spoke about you made you uncomfortable, but when you peeked over to see who it was, you gagged. 

Snapping his head up, over to the room, Snoke furrowed his hairless eyebrows as Kylo’s eyes widened. “What was that?”

“That was Cat,” Kylo quickly responded.

“Wretched animals having hairballs…” his mentor hissed in disgust before looking back at him. “Set up a meet and greet with her, I’d like to see who has my subordinate finally creating masterpieces.”

Biting his tongue and taking in a deep breath, he slowly nodded, “I will… try my best… to.”

“You  _ will _ .” At that, Snoke turned away and aimed for the foyer, stopping at the double doors before speaking once more, “someone mentioned they saw you at a Resistance event last night…”

Feeling his heart sink, Kylo’s jaw tightened as he stared at the back of his masters head with wide eyes and tight fists. 

“If you dare pull a bold move like that again and get caught by paparazzi and the greater crowd, I can and will obliterate your career like that,” Snoke snapped his bony fingers. “Remember that.”

Standing in a trance, eating the doors slam, Kylo began to breathe heavily, fearing the power his master had over him. 

Then, he heard a faint meow and looked down at his starved cat. Shutting his eyes for a moment, he turned away and aimed to set up her bowl. 

Sitting at the edge of the bed, now wearing Kylo’s robe, you held onto your arms as unwanted chills ran down your spine. Reaching over to keep the large robe closed, you frowned. You felt uncomfortable and disgusted. Knowing a man who was  _ half a century  _ older than you found you intriguing, you fell sick to the stomach. 

Too deep in your thoughts, you suddenly felt a hand gently scope your cheek, shifting your focus to a kneeling Kylo before you. “I won’t let him find you. I promise. I will never allow that to happen. Ever.” He swore. “He will never meet my muse.”

Looking him deeply in the eyes, you gulped, “why do you stay with him?” You quietly asked. “Why do you work for a man like that?”

Feeling ashamed, Kylo looked away for a moment before looking at your chest where your heart sat, “I have no way out… he will ruin me and my career if I even think of going rogue.”

Frowning, you reached over and leaned in to kiss his forehead. A long, sweet kiss, before you kissed his lips. Wrapping your arms around him and hugging him, you breathed his scent in as you nuzzled his neck. 

There had to be ways to get him out, your mind running through an infinite amount of ideas. But none would work with him being a part of a group that your colleagues loathed. 

You had to find a way to help him get out of there, a way to free him from such a monstrous master. At least… a way to rid his master from the picture…

“We’ll find a way,” you nodded. “I’ll find a way,” you reassured before kissing his neck. 

Shutting his eyes as his arms snaked around your waist, he stood up and brought you on to his lap, enjoying your subtle warmth as he nearly rested into your gentle embrace. The arms of an angel, the gates of heaven. He felt at ease. He felt welcomed. He felt  _ safe _ . 

And he stayed like that for a good five minutes, soaking your golden aura in.

“Let me clean your clothes,” he mumbled into your shoulder, leaving feather like kisses. “You can go shower if you’d like…” leaning back and looking you in the eyes, Kylo brushed his thumb under your eye and kissed your cheek before he lifted you from him and stood up. “Thank you,” he whispered as he bent over to be at your eye level.

“For what?” You softly smiled. 

“Just… thank you,” leaning in and giving your sweet lips a passionate, yet gentle kiss, you smiled. “Angel…” with a gentle sweep of his finger under your chin, he stood up straight and left the room. You say there, feeling a tad flustered but giddy about him. 

About his lips and hands, about his body and soul. 

You liked him more than you thought you possibly could. 

 

* * *

 

Your shower lasted longer than expected. It felt as if you were trying to scrub off the eyes of Kylo’s master from you… even though he hadn’t truly seen you. You felt disgusted in your own skin knowing a man his age had far too much interest in you. 

But Kylo’s promise echoed in your head and you believed him. 

A small smile grew on your lips as you thought about the previous night’s events. The way Kylo had kissed you. How he had touched you. Your eyes fluttered at the thought of how his fingers felt in you, and you wanted to feel it all over again.

Sure, you could please yourself, but your dainty fingers could never compare to how thick a single finger of Kylo’s were. Let alone…  _ three _ . 

Hearing a knocking on the door, followed by Kylo’s voice saying he “got your clothes,” you shut the shower and reached for the spare towel he had set up for you. Reaching for the door as you held the towel against you, Kylo’s eyes trailed you before he casually looked down at your clothes. 

“Kylo…”

“Hmm…” He hummed, heart suddenly racing at the thought of water dripping down your angelic body, cascading in the valley of your breasts. 

“You’ve seen me naked already,” you teased as you grabbed the clothes and settled them to a side. 

“I know…” He breathed. 

“You literally had your fingers in me, so what difference does it make?” You asked. 

Lifting his focus to meet yours, he watched as you reached over and pulled him down into a kiss, your towel slipping from you as you wrapped your arms around him. Your wet body pressed against his as Kylo’s shaky fingers dug into your wet hair and bare back. He clutched onto fistfuls, clinging onto the soaked strands as his tongue burrowed itself in your mouth. 

Kylo’s mind began to wander into its fantasies. An oblivion of filthy desires and personal pleasures he had wanted for ages from you. He imaged setting you on the counter, pinning you against the wall—hell, even getting you back in the shower—to fill you to your core. To make a mess out of you. 

But his fantasies were cut short when you pushed away and smiled up at him, reminding him that there was more than the desire to screw you. 

He wanted to  _ love _ you. He wanted to support you. He wanted to be there for you. To do things he didn’t normally do for others: to  _ care _ . 

After all, there was much more to you than just a hole to fill. 

There was a dazed look in his eyes the moment yours met them. Kylo looked as if he was in a subtle trance, unwilling to blink, as if you were ephemeral. 

Reaching for his hands and placing them against your breasts, you gave him a teasing wink. You assured him you were very real.

Feeling his breathing hitch as he felt your flesh against his palms, giving the swell of your breasts a squeeze, a faint mewl left his lips. He was a hypocrite to his own thoughts. 

Releasing your breasts, Kylo instead wrapped his arms around you and pulled you into a tight embrace. He held you against him as his cheek pressed against yours, catching you off guard. 

With furrowed eyebrows, you suddenly shut your eyes and melted into his arms, wishing to stay there forever. “I really do like you, Kylo…” you confessed as he tightened his grip. “I’ve always had.”

Shutting his eyes, not wanting to leave that very moment, he lifted a hand to cup your cheek as he kissed the other before nuzzling his nose into it. “You don’t know how long I’ve wanted to be with you. Long before your prom night.”

Feeling your heart skip a beat, your eyes widened as you leaned back. “What?”

“I always found you beautiful. I always watched you as fucking creepy as that sounds. I didn’t mean to be. You just… you were so pretty. You still are…” Kylo confessed. “But I never was meant for you. We were never meant to be.”

Feeling your heart race, you pushed back and held his cheeks, “yet, here we are.” Pulling him into a kiss, you pressed your forehead against his. 

Staying like that for a moment’s worth, Kylo pulled away, bent to pick up your towel before wrapping it around you. “You’re too good for me,” he muttered, kissing your forehead. 

“So you say,” you grinned as Kylo shook his head, letting you change back into your clothes. 

“Will you stay for breakfast?” He asked, but you shook your head. 

“As much as I would love to spend all day in your arms or be your muse, I left my things and need to get them…” you sighed as Kylo nodded. 

“Of course.”

Smiling up at him, you pulled him into one last kiss. “I’ll see you through my window,” you winked as Kylo nodded. “Don’t draw anyone else till then.”

“I won’t,” he shook his head as he walked you to the foyer and watched you leave. 

 

* * *

 

You knew you were in a world of trouble the moment you walked through Leia’s doors in last nights dress… but you had to do it anyway. 

The eyes were already on you, some recognizing what you had been wearing, while others knew very well you wouldn’t wear  _ that _ to work. Either way, you were scrutinized in one way or another, but… you didn’t seem to care, because—unlike them—you had the best night of your life with the man you’ve always wanted. 

“Look who it is. You finally decided to show up,” Leia teased. 

“It’s not even ten yet,” you shook your head. 

“I am well aware… I’m just not sure if your attire is,” she pointed. “Last night's clothes.”

“I know… but I had a long night!” You shrugged, spotting your purse on a decorative table. “A long night… with someone.”

Smirking, Leia crossed her arms. “Your father would be so thrilled to hear.”

Growing wide eyed, you shook your head. “Leia, no—“

“I only kid,” she waved a hand. “Did you know… that my son was at the event?”

Feeling your face burn up, heart puddling at your feet in guilt, you gulped. “Was he?”

“Mhm. I saw him. For only a split second… then he stormed off. I was surprised to see him…” Leia said as your breathing quickened. “I thought he rushed away because he saw me.”

“Oh?”

“But I was wrong.”

“Oh…”

“His eyes were on someone else. And he didn’t seem so fond to see  _ them _ with someone else…” Leia trailed. “I also saw that same someone go in the same exact direction as he had… and never returned.”

Gulping, you blinked “ _ oh _ .”

“I wonder if she had an eventful night with my son,” Leia arched an eyebrow. “Did you?”

 

 


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> With the good, comes the bad...

Your throat suddenly ran dry as you stood there in silence with your lips parted. You should’ve never doubted a mother’s intuition. “I—“

“I only tease,” Leia winked. “I have known for a very long time that my son had interest in you. Since you were kids, actually. He stared at you a lot... but never had the guts to say a thing.” 

Blushing and looking down, you heard footsteps, followed by a hand on your shoulder. “I wouldn’t want anyone else with him, anyway. As long as I know someone is making him happy, that’s all I need to know.”

Smiling up at her, you couldn’t help but ask, “did he really stare at me a lot?”

Grinning, Leia nodded. “Oh, he for sure did. Ever since he was little. He was so shy and always hid by me and Han. I would always ask him why he’d hide and he said it was because you made him nervous…” she said as your cheeks turned a darker shade. “He said you were too pretty that it was hard to look away. Like a painting.”

“Really?” You nearly whispered as your heart skipped a beat. 

“Mhm… You were too focused on drawing and playing with toys to even notice,” Leia nodded. “He really had an eye for art, even at such a young age.”

Shyly looking away and thinking about Kylo’s confession earlier and how he said he stared at you, you took in a small breath, “he did admit to me that… he stared at me.”

“Must’ve sounded creepy,” she snickered as you shook your head with a small smile. 

“I… actually wasn’t… bothered…” you confessed. “Because if I weren’t so oblivious, I probably would’ve stared at him, too… he’s very… attractive.”

Smiling at your words, Leia took your hand so you would sit with her. “You were a busy girl, still are, but you were a teen. What would you have known? You were focused on that fool who left you at prom!”

“He wasn’t even worth it…” you sighed. “In the end, he did it just to be nice since I was that sweet girl that you couldn’t possibly hurt… even though he tried.”

“And failed.”

“And failed. He came to talk to me that next morning but I shut the door on him.” Taking in a deep breath, you looked at Leia, “I had… kind of hoped… it was Kylo…”

Eyeing you, Leia took in a small breath, “that’s the day he left.”

“What?” Your eyes widened. 

“He just… left. Never saw him again…” Leia sighed. “I knew he was with you because I saw him with a corsage… one he never gave you. He also had your pearls.”

Instinctively touching your neck, your heartbeat stuttered. “He…”

“He kept them… I caught him come in and carrying your pearls and the corsage… That next morning, it was missing with him from his room,” Leia explained, “he brought a piece of you with him.”

“A corsage…” Feeling your heart sink, you frowned. “Where did he go?”

“Where do you think?” She tilted her head. 

“First Order…” you muttered as she nodded. “Is that why so many people hate them?”

“One of the reasons,” she nodded. “No one really likes my son. He’s… standoffish. Harsh, unapproachable, intimidating, yells a lot… But not to you. Because he… he feels something strongly for you and only you,” Leia softly smiled. 

“No one would want me to be with him… It would seem wrong…” you shook your head, looking down. 

Reaching over, Leia held your chin, “and should that stop you from wanting to be with him? Should that stop your happiness? Should others opinions affect your love life?”

Shaking your head, your frown slowly disappeared. “No… Not when he treats me so… sweetly and kindly. Not when he makes me happier than I could ever be…”

Feeling her smile widen, Leia let go of your chin, “and that’s all that should matter.”

Nodding, you then frowned again. “But… Kylo…”

“What happened?”

“His master is… awful.” 

“Oh, I know…” Leia leaned back with a groan. 

Feeling angry, you tightened your fists, “the man is disgusting and infuriating. He’s disrespectful and awful and Kylo needs a way out.”

“Did you meet him?” Leia asked, voice laced with concern. 

“No… but… he came by Kylo’s loft this morning and Kylo kept me hidden. I overheard their conversation…” you admitted. 

“He kept you hidden…” Leia whispered, more to herself than back to you. Her son truly cared for you. “For years I wanted to take him away from that man… but nothing ever worked. Now, I have you… and you can help me.”

“We need to find a better place for him. And we need to do something about Snoke.”

 

* * *

 

You had spent a number of hours with Leia, not realizing it until you were starving. You had gone to lunch with her and even returned back to speak with her. The hours were filled with nothing but talk about her son and ways to get him somewhere far from Snoke. 

Eventually, you parted ways and returned home, spending a few hours finishing up your online assignments. 

Spending his day filling his sketchbook with drawings of you from memory—mainly of your eyes—Kylo ripped the page out and stood from his seat. With a cigarette hanging from his lips, he climbed up the small steps to his little bedroom. Pinning the sketch on his ceiling, Kylo heard a crunch against his knee as he climbed down his bed. Reaching under his sheets, he found a small paper that was folded. 

Furrowing his eyebrows, Kylo opened it and found a phone number. Your number. You signed it with  _ your muse  _ and a little heart next to it. Smiling to himself, Kylo aimed down the steps and towards his house phone, dialing your number and looking out the window, to yours. 

Hearing your phone ring, you stood from your desk and entered the living room. Spotting your phone on the coffee table, you read the unsaved number and picked up, “hello?”

“ _ Hello _ .”

Smiling, you looked out the window, “Kylo?”

“ _ Come outside _ .”

Walking towards your balcony and opening the doors, you looked over to his and spotted him peeking out the window and waving. “You found my note.”

“ _ Accidentally, but, yes _ .”

“I left it there when I saw all your ceiling sketches…” you said. “I was hoping you’d find it sooner than later.”

“ _ I did _ .”

“Eventually,” you teased before hearing a small snigger from him. 

“ _ I spent all day drawing _ .”

“Really?” You arched an eyebrow at him as he nodded. “I said not to draw anyone else…” you teased.

“ _ I didn’t. I drew you from memory _ .”

Smiling, you chuckled, “I bet you want to draw me in person.”

“ _ Always _ .”

“Come over,” you nudged your head. 

“ _ Can I bring dinner? _ ”

“Mhm!” You eagerly nodded. 

“I’ll see you soon.”

Watching him walk away from his window, you bit your bottom lip before lowering your phone from your ear. Walking back into your apartment and tossing your phone onto the sofa, you plopped with it, patiently waiting for Kylo as you watched your favorite show. 

Hearing a knock, you paused the show you had delved into, standing from your spot and looking out the window for a moment. The sun had set and the moon was high. You hadn’t realized it till then before walking to your door and looking through the peephole. Seeing the tall figure standing on the other side, dressed in all black, you opened the door. “Hi, handsome.”

“Handsome?” Kylo arched an eyebrow as you winked. “I don’t know about that…” leaning in, Kylo sweetly kissed you before he stood straight and lifted the food. 

“A way to a woman’s heart,” you teased, grabbing the food and guiding him inside, over to your dining table. 

“I should’ve expected it to look this lovely…” Kylo said about your apartment, eyeing it. The large glass windows and balcony before him with the simple living area. To the right of him was the hallway to the bedrooms while to the left was the dining table and kitchen. “Also… much bigger…”

Chuckling, you reached for his hand and pulled his attention back to you, settling the food on the dining table and having him sit down beside you as he helped pull out the food. 

You didn’t expect the moment—or date, if that’s what it was—to be so simple, yet, so lovely. Although there was a lingering silence here and there, it was comfortable. It suited the atmosphere. You liked the quiet moments when you could just eat and not feel out of place… or, to just look at him. 

As he did to you. 

Helping you clean up once the two of you finished eating, the two of you walked over to the balcony. Your back was pressed against Kylo as he wrapped his arms around you. With your head leaning against his chest, and the gentle feeling of his breathing, you smiled as the two of you stargazed. 

“How was your day?” Kylo asked, breaking the silence. 

“Decent,” you chuckled. “I had to catch up with online assignments… I’m so close to graduating,” you sighed, turning around enough to rest your cheek against him. “I also learned a few things…”

“Really?” He hummed as you nodded. 

“I learned that… you really were a creep,” you joked as Kylo’s face went red. His silence caused you to look up and instantly reach for his cheeks. “I only kid, handsome.”

Feeling his heart race, Kylo blinked. “What…”

“Your mother,” you nodded as he took in a deep breath. “She told me even when you were a little boy… you were shy.”

Looking away from your eyes, Kylo bit his inner lip. “Possibly…”

Tiptoeing, you gently kissed his lips. “If I had paid attention more… I would’ve been shy, too.”

“Mm-mm…” Kylo shook his head. 

“Mhm…” You hummed against his lips, kissing him again. “You’re so cute and tall…” Kissing him yet again, you lifted a hand and brushed at the strands of hair that hung above his forehead. “You’re talented… And very interesting…”

“I’m not…” he mumbled against your lips, but you groaned. 

“Stop degrading yourself, Kylo. I like you more than you know.” Slipping your fingers behind his head and under his hair, you deepened the kiss. 

Kylo found himself melting into it, tightening his grip around your waist and never wanting to let go. 

 

* * *

 

Every night that followed the first were the same. You and Kylo always found time to see one another in some way, no matter for how long. Luckily, you were able to see each other for dinner every night for a few weeks, sharing food and stories. 

Except, for once, you had the whole day off to finish your last major assignments of class. Graduation was so close and you could almost feel it. You just wanted that diploma and to never see school again. 

Lazily sprawled on the floor with your back against the couch and laptop in between your sweatpants covered legs, a knock caught your attention. Standing up, not expecting company, you walked over to the door, checked the peephole, and saw flowers. Opening the door in confusion, you watched as the flowers were lowered, presenting Kylo.

Smirking you took the flowers before you pulled him into a hug. “This is a nice surprise.”

“I saw you were home and I thought I’d surprise you,” he said, kissing the top of your head. 

“Weren’t you busy this morning with…”

“Yes… But that was temporary. It wasn’t even for me,  _ he _ just dragged me,” Kylo sighed as you nodded, letting him in as he carried a backpack filled with—what you assumed to be—art supplies. 

Grinning, you shut the door and took his hand, guiding him to the living room. “Are you going to  _ draw _ me?”

“If you don’t mind…” he softly smiled as you nodded happily.

“Always, love.” Letting his hand go to set up a vase for the bouquet, you came back to place the glass on your coffee table. Kylo had settled his bag down and propped himself across from you, on the floor with his back against the opposing couch. Eyeing him as he pulled out his sketchbook and favorite pen, you took your spot from before and continued your work, your music gently playing around you. 

You could feel Kylo’s eyes settle on you every now and then as you studied your eyes away. You spent the day trying to prepare yourself for your final classes, scarcely giving yourself breaks, that Kylo’s presence was a relief.

A good fifteen minutes had passed and you couldn’t sit still. You were tired of studying and you had become antsy. The last thing on your mind was to learn why Bill Gates became so successful or how companies like Target were so well known. You just wanted to melt into Kylo, missing his presence all day. 

Lifting and placing your laptop to a side, you got on all fours and slowly crawled his way. Kylo hadn’t noticed just yet, darkening edges and bringing forth highlights in the sketch. But, as he was about to focus his eyes on his muse, his heart skipped a beat at the sight of you now before him. “ _ Muse _ .”

“I can't study…” you sighed. “I’ve been doing it  _ all day _ …” getting on your knees and straddling him, Kylo put his sketchbook and pen down. He watched you settle against him as you gazed at his features. Sure, he loved nothing more than to draw you… but it had been a while since anything had happened between the two of you besides napping or kissing. He missed the feeling of  _ more _ . 

“Am I a distraction?” Kylo lowly asked as you hummed, leaning in and letting your lips hover over his. 

“That’s a silly question,” you whispered, “you’re all I can think about.” Closing the gap, your fingers intertwined with his hair as you moved your lips (and tongue) eagerly against his own. 

Your breathing quickened as his matched your own. Heavy breaths fanning against one another as you felt his hand grasp tightly on to your rear. Reaching for the hem of his shirt, you tugged it up and over his head as he helped you. 

Reaching for your shirt and pulling it over, Kylo leaned forward and settled you into the floor, your back arching from the cold as he kissed along your neck. Your bra was non existent and the floor was freezing. You found yourself pushing Kylo over as your warm chests pressed together with every hungry kiss you gave him. 

Undoing his belt and pants, unzipping them and tugging them open, you leaned back into kissing him as you began to palm his length against the cotton material of his underwear. His groans made you smirk, pulling back the waistband and reaching for his skin. You began to stroke him in ways he couldn’t imagine anyone else’s perfect little hands (like your own) could. 

Hissing, Kylo forced your hand away as he pinned you against the floor, attacking your chest with hickeys and bites. Your hands were above your head, trapped in his large ones as he bit the skin on your breast before he brought your nipple in between his teeth. Your breath hitched at the sensation, feeling him lick and bite the overly sensitive skin. A weak plea left your lips as you squirmed underneath him, trying to release your wrists from his grip. “ _ Kylo _ …” whining and wriggling your hands, his grip slipped as you pulled him from you, shoving him flat on the ground as your hips met his. 

Grinding against him, eagerly and desperately, you let out heavy breaths that synced with his moans. Pressing your palms into his shoulders as you rolled your clothed hips against his, your heart raced at the feeling of his trapped, hard length underneath his clothes. 

Lifting his hips as he snarled, biting his lips and thrusting upwards into you, Kylo rolled you once again and tugged your sweatpants off. Then, he reached for your underwear. He was more than eager to rip them right off, your body laying underneath him in submission, but a sudden knock was heard on your front door.

“Dammit…” You breathed, sitting up and gathering your shirt and pants. “Go— Go hide in my room!” You pointed as you pulled your clothes back on before helping hide his things. 

“Hello?” Hearing Poe’s voice call out your name, your eyes widened as Kylo hissed. 

Shoving Kylo into your room, you shut the door and rushed to your front door and opened it. You expected to see Poe… but you didn’t expect him to look… this pale. “Poe? Is everything alright.”

Seeing him gulp as he looked you in the eyes, your heart sank. “It’s an emergency.”


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tragedy strikes...

“What?” Your heart was now at your feet as you looked at Poe. A nervous expression written across his face as you stood there in worry. “Poe, what’s the emergency?”

Sucking in a deep breath, he gently reached out to your shoulder, “it’s your mother…”

“What… What about her?” You shook your head in confusion.

“She’s home… but she’s being hospitalized.” He calmly said. But you, however, couldn’t believe it. 

“What…?” You breathed. 

“She was in an accident… A severe accident—“ 

“Wh— When?” You interrupted, hands trembling as your heart raced. 

“Just now… She was rushed to the hospital my mother works in for severe trauma…” Poe explained as you gulped. “We should—“

“I… I’ll meet you there…” you nodded, eyes blurred with tears. 

“Why don’t I—“

“I— I’m fine… I need to get dressed…”

“But—“

“I’ll meet you there, Poe.” At that, you shut the door. 

You took in a deep breath as you stood there, staring at the door before your body collapsed against it. Overhearing the conversation, Kylo rushed to your side and helped you to your feet. “I’ve got you—“

Shaking and slipping from his arms, you aimed for your bedroom to change, unable to think straight. You were haphazardly changing and gathering your things that Kylo felt worried. 

Walking over to you, Kylo carefully grabbed your hand and held it. “You don’t have to be alone, I can go—“

“I— I should go… alone—“ Trying to hide the tears in your eyes as you tugged your hand away, Kylo tightened his grip before he brought you to him, pressing his nose into your cheek as he locked you in his arms. 

“ _ Please _ …” Kylo begged as your heart sank at the sound of his plea. 

“We can’t… I’m fine, Kylo,” you insisted as you pushed back, looking into his warm eyes. “I promise… I just… I should go alone…”

Looking deeply into your own eyes, searching them for the truth you had been hiding, Kylo watched as you slid from his grip to grab your keys. “You know, no matter what, I will always be here for you,” Kylo said. 

Freezing in your spot at the sound of his voice, you looked over at him as he stood there, redressed and with a small hunch in his back. “I know…” you nodded. “But now… I need to be alone…” walking towards the door, you stopped for a moment before exiting. Turning around and looking at Kylo, you rushed up to him and pulled him into a quick kiss. “Thank you.” At that, you darted out the front door and left Kylo alone in your home.

Sprinting down the hall and the many flights of stairs, you ran all along the sidewalk, towards the hospital. Your feet were dragging you, moving as fast as you could. You were becoming breathless but your adrenaline was running high. If Kylo hadn’t been with you in that moment, you probably would’ve fallen to your knees a sobbing mess and wouldn’t have been able to see your own mother. But, you didn’t want him to see you that way. 

And you didn’t even want yourself to be that way. 

It had been so long since you last saw her, desperate to see and hear her. Wanting her hugs and comfort. But knowing she was being hospitalized, you feared the worst. 

Skidding across the floor and entering the hospital, asking for your mothers room, you forced your aching legs to take you further. You hadn’t even realized you were in the most laziest outfit with just slides in your feet and your wild hair all tangled from Kylo’s hands. 

Slowing your pace and spotting Leia, Han, and even Poe, you sucked in a deep breath and slowly walked over. “Hi, honey…” Leia greeted as you gave her a weak smile. “Your father is in there.”

Nodding your head, you felt Han place a reassuring hand on your shoulder as he bowed his head. 

“Thank you…” Slipping past them, you pushed the door open and felt your heart drop. Seeing your mother, resting unconscious on a bed as your father slept into his still hand, you shut your eyes for a moment before you reopened them and walked closer. 

Placing a hand on your father, he instantly looked up, “oh, bellissima…”

“Dad…” you spoke in a hushed tone. 

“Your mother… She— An accident…” his voice cut off as you blinked. “One of the few survivors…”

Frowning, you looked over at your mother, watching her chest rise and fall, eyeing all the bruises and cuts on her face. “What… happened?”

“Her plane crashed... She's in a coma…” he breathed as your eyes widened. 

“Wh— A coma?”

 

“Yes…” your father nodded. “And she’s only alive because debris missed her by mere inches…”

* * *

 

 

You lost track of time. You didn’t know what day it was, let alone, what time it could’ve been. The days began to blur into one long one. Your nights were sleepless and your mornings were filled with anxiety and surges of adrenaline. 

You worried. 

It was starting to get the best of you… or maybe it already had. You stayed at your mother's bedside for what must’ve been a week now, begging… praying to anything and anyone, for her to awaken. 

When was the last time you ate? You knew you showered, at least as quick as you could with the door wide open… and you had some water… at least, you think you did.

“Bellissima?” Hearing your father call, turning your head to see him at the doorway, he gave you a worried look. “You need to eat. You are only making yourself sick—“

“I’m fine, dad,” you assured. But he didn’t believe it. 

“I need you to eat. Your mother would want you to…” he said as he settled a tray of food beside you, but you looked away.

“I’m not hungry.”

“That’s impossible, you haven’t eaten in days. You are going to get sick and something will happen to you. I don’t need both of my favorite ladies to be hospitalized,” he nearly scolded as you sighed. 

“I won’t,” you insisted. 

“At least get some rest?” He pleaded, but you shook your head. 

“I don’t need it. I don’t want to miss anything,” you stubbornly said as your father rubbed his face. 

Looking over at you as you kept your eyes on your mother's unconscious body, your father walked closer, “that’s why we have nurses. If something happens, you’ll know, you’ll wake—“

“Dad,  _ please _ .”

“Don’t be so stubborn. I understand you want to be here all day, but you can’t do this to yourself! You can’t forget that you’re a human and have needs to help you survive!” He reminded, but you ignored. “You are not a child. You know better than this.”

“Just let it be, dad…” you spoke in an irritated tone, hoping he got the memo. 

“Please—“

“ _ No _ .”

 

* * *

 

Pacing around in his loft, eyeing your apartment every two seconds, Kylo bit his nail. It had been a week since he heard from you. A week since you had left him in suspense about what had happened. 

He had left a number of voicemails as it was, which meant a lot more to him with how much he lacked in communication. But you were important and you mattered and he needed to know if you were okay. 

Tugging at his hair, trying to keep his mind at bay as he thought about you being safe, Kylo shook his head. He needed to see you. He needed to be  _ sure _ that you were okay. 

What if you were home and avoiding calls left and right, being super destructive? Or what if something happened to you? A million and one possibilities swarm his head like angry bees and he was terrified.

Rushing out of his home and aiming for yours, Kylo took the flight of steps up and banged his fist against your door, calling your name and begging. “Please! If you’re in there let me in! I need to know you’re okay!” He called out, but after a good ten minutes of knocking and waiting, Kylo huffed before an idea came to mind. 

Sprinting down the stairs and towards the small mail boxes, he spotted an overflowing one: yours. Walking over and pulling them out, seeing it was a weeks worth, Kylo’s heart fluttered. 

 

* * *

 

“I need you to go home.”

Looking at your father, you shook your head. “Dad, I am  _ fine _ —“

“For the love of god!” Saying your full name out loud before he stomped up to you, your father pointed towards the door. “Go home, eat and sleep. That is an  _ order _ .”

Furrowing your eyebrows as you stood up, you shook your head, “I don’t live with you anymore. I live on my own and I undergo—“

“Your boyfriend must be worried,” he suddenly said as your heart sank. “You haven’t touched your phone and it has been going off. Your boyfriend is worried and you need to see him.” Your father insisted, hoping he found a loophole. 

“I— He is not—“ Stuttering, you gulped. 

“Don’t think I don’t know about you disappearing from the gallery. Or the fact that you were seen constantly visiting your neighboring building. Or the fact that you have a contact in your phone with just a  _ red heart _ .” 

“Dad—“

“Go home and come back when you are well rested and have a meal in you,” with a tug and a push, he got you out of the room. “And call back your boyfriend.”

Sucking in a deep breath and thinking about Kylo and the worry he must’ve felt, you finally left the hospital and made your way to your apartment. You were starting to feel it. The exhaustion. The hunger. Your body was growing weak and you felt as if you were literally dragging yourself. You feared you were going to collapse there and then, but when you saw your apartment building come into view, a smile grew on your lips. 

Entering the lobby and ready to take those wretched stairs, you took one step forward and never made the other.

Your body collided with something and you were suddenly out like a dead light. 


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kylo finally has you, but he’s afraid he’s about to lose you...

Cursing under his breath, Kylo was quick to turn and run down the hallway, shoving past the staircase doors and down the many steps. He had hoped he was overreacting. Hoping you were fine and just needed downtime and had no desire to touch your phone. After all, it was a family emergency. 

But as he emerged from the staircase and into the lobby, he spotted you. With a sinking feeling in his gut and a minuscule smile on his lips, Kylo rushed to you. But as he had, your body collapsed… right in time, into his. 

“Baby?” He spoke, but there was no response. Lifting you enough to look at your face, his heart dropped. “Fuck!” Checking your pulse and feeling your heartbeat, Kylo huffed. “What did you do to yourself?”

Feeling the curious eyes, Kylo dismissed them all. He had never ran so fast in his life. He knew it wise to call the ambulance, but he feared they wouldn’t come on time in a city like this one. 

Kylo was frantic, working on impulses as he made it past the emergency entrance of the hospital, begging for help. Everyone who waited looked at him like a madman as nurses rushed over. “Please, she fainted and—“

“I feared this would happen,” a doctor said as she approached Kylo, a gurney being dragged over for your unconscious body. 

“What?” Kylo asked in confusion as the doctor sighed while a number of nurses came to her aide. 

“She,” the doctor pointed her eyes at you, “wasn’t eating nor sleeping.”

“What?!” Kylo’s voice raised. “How could—“ Cutting himself off, he took in a deep breath. 

“You already know why,” the doctor nodded, no longer needing to explain. “She will be fine. I feared this would happen but at least she wasn’t alone.”

With a racing heart and wide eyes, Kylo found himself frozen as he watched them take your unconscious body away. There were a number of times he felt pure terror in his life. This was one of them. 

“ _ She will be fine _ ,” the doctors words echoed in his head. 

Gulping, feeling the world around him disappear, he snapped out of his trance and rushed after, knowing he would be spending hours at your bedside. And he wouldn’t dare leave.

 

* * *

 

Hours had passed and Kylo grew antsy as he sat at your bedside, watching nurses nitpick you and place all sorts of tubes and needles into your body. It made him uncomfortable. He hated seeing you like this, in such a sterile room surrounded by white walls. Kylo wanted you back home, in his arms. 

“What’s taking so long?” Kylo snapped at the nurse before him. “Nothing has happened! She’s been the same!”

“Sir, it takes a—“

Standing from his chair as he felt the heat rise to his face, Kylo yelled “HOW HARD IS IT TO—“

“Hello?” A third voice entered the room as the nurse’s and Kylo’s heads snapped in its direction. “Did I walk into one of my son’s outbursts?”

“ _ Leia _ …” Kylo seethed. 

“Oh, hello Mrs. Solo.” The nurse greeted as Kylo glared. 

With a sweet smile, Leia bowed her head. “Good evening, Harry.”

Watching the interaction, Kylo clenched his fists, unsure as to how his…  _ mother _ knew of the nurse but unamazed. “What are  _ you _ doing  _ here _ ?”

“I should ask you that,  _ Benjamin _ ,” Leia snickered, knowing very well her son hated his birth given name. “But I don’t because I know she is your girlfriend.” Looking over at her son and seeing how fast his face dropped, Leia sighed. “You can’t possibly think I’m oblivious? If you hadn’t run away, you two would’ve been married by now.”

Feeling his cheeks heat up, Kylo took in a deep breath. He hated knowing that she was right. “What do you want?”

Rolling her eyes and shaking her head, Leia walked over to your bedside and placed a bouquet there on the empty table. “I came to visit her mother—as I am sure you are aware of what’s happened?”

“... _ Yes _ .”

“And then I overheard that her daughter was here, as well. Because she wasn’t taking care of herself out of worry and fear,” Leia said as she looked at Kylo. “Sounds like someone I know.”

Gulping and diverting his eyes from his mother, not wanting to bring up the memories she was referring to, Kylo looked down at your resting body. “Sure.”

Feeling a small grin grow on the corner of her lips, Leia walked closer to you and kissed your forehead, “she’s in good care. She will be fine. No need to attack those who are trying to help.”

Growling, Kylo mumbled under his breath before he took your hand in his. “I just want her awake.”

Softly smiling, Leia nodded, “I know you do.” Hearing her son’s stomach grumble, Leia looked up at him. “She would want you to take care of yourself, too. She wouldn’t want you to pull what she did.”

Staying in silence, Kylo knew he was starving and knew he should go eat… but he refused to leave your side. 

“Come, let me take you to the cafeteria.”

Lifting his head and seeing Leia reach her hand out, Kylo looked back down at you and huffed. Leaning in and kissing your cheek, he whispered in your ear, “only for you.” Standing up straight, Kylo eyed Leia for a moment before he turned and walked right out. 

Leia followed Kylo all the way to the cafeteria. He had been there a number of times beforehand due to…  _ accidents _ he encountered. Most that were caused by him, himself. But he would never tell anyone that. 

But after he started being around you, he didn’t feel as angry as he normally had. Except for those moments before. 

Ordering food and not staying beside his mother (something Leia wasn’t fazed by) Kylo took a seat and waited. 

“Oh, you still do that,” she stated rather than questioned as she took her seat before Kylo. 

“I'm not a savage,” Kylo hissed, earning a look from Leia. “I’m not a  _ complete _ savage.”

Grinning, Leia nodded, “thank you for waiting for me.”

“Hmm…” 

The two sat in silence as they ate. The cafeteria was barren and all that was heard were the distant sounds of the televisions that were on. Kylo kept his focus on his surroundings, bouncing his eyes around as much as his own leg had. The table began to shake and Leia recognized this antic of his. 

“Would I lie?” She suddenly asked, earning an odd look from Kylo. 

“No.”

“Then why are you anxious?” Leia tilted her head as Kylo sucked in some air. 

“Nothing.”

“Ben…” She spoke in a pleading tone, but she got no response. “ _ Kylo _ .”

“I don’t want to be far,” he simply answered. “For years I thought about and wanted her. Now I  _ have _ her.”

“And you don’t like that separation…” Leia hummed as Kylo eyed her for a split second before looking away.

“I don’t like the feeling I felt all those years of being  _ alone _ .” Kylo had a stabbing glare as he corrected his mother, seeming as if he was ready to flip the table and run right back to you.

Leia, for once, fell silent. She didn’t know what to say. That was the most words she had ever gotten out of him in  _ years _ . A confession. 

“I’m going back—“

Reaching and grabbing Kylo’s hand, she looked him in the eyes, “take good care of her…” weakly smiling up at him, Leia nodded. “Everything is new between the two of you, but there’s already so much being felt.”

Looking into his mother’s eyes as his eyebrows narrowed, Kylo took in a deep breath. 

“Love is very strange and happens in ways we can’t understand and I am not one to force the idea on to others… but when I see it, I know. And what I see in her eyes and yours…” stopping herself, Leia nodded. “I just know those eyes. I’ve seen them before…” Leia’s mind suddenly went to her marriage. 

“I need to go back.” Slipping his hand from his mother as he took his tray, Leia watched as her son dumped his trash before he walked off. 

“Just like his father…”

Speed walking through the halls as his long legs took him, Kylo suddenly took a few stops back before he spotted a familiar last name on a patient's door. Looking at it, then over to the open room that had half its lights off, Kylo walked closer before he was at the threshold. Recognizing the woman, Kylo felt his breath hitch. 

It was your mother. 

“Is there something you need, sir?” A nurse asked, catching Kylo’s attention. 

“No…”

“Do you know her?”

Looking back, Kylo nodded with a tight jaw, “yes.”

“Would you like to go inside?”

Eyeing your mother from his spot, Kylo gulped, shook his head, and walked right off. 

He imagined you in that position. Unconscious, tube in your mouth, needles and bandages galore. His stomach turned. He can only imagine what you felt while seeing your mother that way in such a condition. 

Kylo practically ran back to your room, heart racing. All he wanted was for you to wake up. He needed to see your soft eyes and that sweet smile of yours. He wanted to kiss you, to give you a tight embrace, to sit you on his lap and never let go. He just wanted you  _ awake _ . 

Pushing past the door of your room and seeing you were still out, Kylo frowned. “My muse… I just want to see your eyes…” he said, cupping your cheek as he leaned forward and pressed his nose into your other cheek. “I miss you…”

Groaning and shifting, your tired eyes fluttered open as your vision was blocked by hair that wasn’t your own. “Mmm…”

Instantly lifting his head, Kylo looked at you with wide eyes and a racing heart. “You’re okay…” he said, but you looked confused. “You collapsed. Malnourished—“

“My mom...” You panicked, trying to sit up, but you felt weak and Kylo carefully pressed you back to your bed.

“She would want you to take care of yourself first,” he said. “I was worried this whole week...“

“I’m sorry…” you frowned, “I—“

“Don’t explain. I know…” Kylo confessed as held your hand. “I would’ve done the same for you.”

Feeling your heart flutter, you looked up at Kylo and gave him a teary eyed, weak smile. “You did, didn’t you?”

Sucking in a breath, he nodded. “I couldn’t leave you alone…. I needed to know you were okay.”

Feeling your smile grow, you pulled him down to you as you gave him a sweet kiss. “Thank you…” Nuzzling his cheek, you breathed him in.

Carefully pulling you into an embrace, holding you against him as he took in a deep breath, the door opened. “I’m glad to see you’re awake.”

Feeling Kylo lift himself from you, you peeked over and spotted Leia. Your eyes suddenly widened at the thought that—

“Your father doesn’t know. I made sure. I didn’t need him worrying more.”

Sucking in a deep breath, you nodded. “Thank you…”

“It was enough that you had this one over here hovering over you the entire time,” Leia nudged her head to her son as you looked up at him.

“I didn’t mean to scare anyone…” You said, guilt in your tone as you looked away from Kylo and down to your blanket.

“It’s okay, sweetheart. As long as you don’t do it again,” Leia nodded. “I’m sure my son will make sure of that.”

Looking back up at Kylo, he gave you a small nod before he kissed the top of your head. “How did you know?”

“About?” Kylo furrowed his eyebrows. 

“That I was here?”

Watching the interaction, Leia took in a small breath as she eyed her son. 

“My love… I was the one who brought you,” Kylo confessed as your eyes widened. “I was at your apartment hoping you were there. When I went to leave, I saw you… and you fainted.”

Blinking a few times, your heart fluttered, “it was you?” Seeing Kylo nod his head, you sighed. “I’m sorry…”

“ _ Don’t _ .”

“I scared you…” You frowned, but Kylo leaned in and pressed his cheek against your own, cupping your other as his free arm gently wrapped around your waist. 

“All that matters is that you’re okay now.”

Feeling a smile grow on her lips as she watched the two of you, Leia took in a deep breath, turned on her heel, and let you be. 

She always knew there was some love left in her son’s heart. 

 

* * *

 

“Stay right here,” Kylo ordered as he settled you on your couch. You were released to go home and Kylo wanted nothing more than to take you home and watch over you. “I’ll be right back, okay?”

“Where are you going?” You asked, sitting up and looking at him. 

“I’m staying here. I’ll sleep on the couch if I have to. I just need to make sure you’re eating and sleeping,” he said as your heart skipped a beat. 

Slowly nodding your head, you watched as he turned and aimed for the door. “You don’t have to sleep on the couch…” you said, causing him to freeze for a moment, look over his shoulder and suck in a breath. 

“I’ll be right back,” at that, he left your apartment. 

Kylo rushed down the halls and staircase, fearing that if he left you alone for too long, something could happen. Running across the street and up to his loft, Kylo packed a bag with necessities, shoving his clothes in it before he slung the bag over his shoulder. Just as he was about to leave and run back to you, he backed up and spotted Cat. 

Grabbing her food, Kylo reached for the feline and bursted out of his loft, running right back to your apartment.

He looked like a mad man, running the way he had, but the second he entered your home and found you in the same spot, Kylo settled Cat and his things down before walking back to you. You were deep in thought, almost as if you didn’t even realize he was there. There was a lack of emotion on your face, your lips in a line and your eyes hooded as if tears were to come. Gently, Kylo brought you on to his lap and kissed your cheek. 

That evening was quiet. You hardly spoke, only when Kylo had asked you something. You ate dinner slowly and silently, Kylo hovering to make sure you were eating. He did  _ not _ want a round two and—as much as your health didn’t seem so important to yourself—you didn’t want to scare anyone again. 

Kylo didn’t mind the silence. He was used to quiet atmospheres, and with the situation you were in, he didn’t dare cross any boundaries. Leaning against the doorframe of your room as he watched you sit at the edge of your bed, staring at an image of you and your mother, Kylo quietly stood there while cat brushed against his legs. 

Feeling his eyes on you, you looked over at him and reached a hand out. Watching him walk over and take it, you gently tugged him beside you as he sat down. Kylo carefully took the frame from you and settled it on your nightstand before he carefully brought you down onto the bed. 

Curling against you and holding you close, leaving gentle kisses against your head, Kylo’s arms had encased you. Although your mind was loud, you were exhausted and Kylo’s warmth didn’t help. Instead of fighting it, you felt your eyes fall closed, not realizing you had so easily fallen asleep. 

Hearing your phone vibrate, Kylo carefully peeled himself from you to reach for it. It was Leia. “Leia?”

“ _ Kylo… _ ”

“What is it?” He whispered, eyebrows narrowed. “You called at a bad time, I have her asleep with me—“

“ _ I need to speak with you. I had hoped you’d answer. It’s about her mother _ .”

Sucking in a deep breath, Kylo felt his eyebrows narrow. “What about her?”

“She may not make it.”


	13. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The three words Kylo never expects to hear are uttered.

Kylo sat in silence. He stared at the ceiling as his mother’s words echoed in his head.  _ She may not make it _ . Looking over at you as you slept, Kylo’s eyebrows narrowed. He couldn’t possibly share the gut wrenching news with you… how could he? It was enough you refused to eat or sleep for days…

Now this?

Rolling back to his side and holding you close to him, Kylo pressed his forehead against the back of your head, “she’ll defy the odds,” Kylo whispered. “I hope so.” Closing his eyes and breathing you in, he tightened his grip around you and left a kiss against your neck. 

He would wait until morning. 

 

* * *

 

Morning had come and the weight on his chest grew heavy.

He hated seeing you like this. It broke his heart. But, at least you were eating and sleeping. 

When you had awoken that morning, Kylo had felt you shift and slip from him, awakening him and finding you sitting in the couch, staring out the window as Cat sat beside you. When he found you, and his mother’s words echoed in his head, he couldn’t help but selfishly push the supposed truth away for your well being. 

It took him longer than he had expected to get you to join him and have breakfast, but at least he was successful. 

You were silent all morning, sharing a few words here and there… and Kylo didn’t push. He knew how much you were hurting and he respected the lack of talk. But that didn’t mean it didn’t upset him, knowing you were suffering and that he couldn’t do much. 

“Look at you, you’re almost done,” Kylo softly spoke as you took your last bites. Gently caressing your back, Kylo kissed your shoulder as he had finished his own plate. He had no desire to rush you, as long as you ate, he was happy  _ there _ . 

“There…” you lowly spoke, pushing your plate forward. Looking over at him and giving him a weak smile, you turned your head away before standing up and walking off. 

Kylo’s subtle smile dropped. As did his heart. 

He watched you walk away and disappear into your bedroom, sitting in silence at the table, trying to find ways to make you happy. But he knew, the only thing you’d really want, was for your mother to be okay. 

Gulping, Kylo looked down at his lap, silently thinking to himself before he stood up and cleaned the table. Pushing the chairs in and wiping off the counter, he did the set of dishes before drying them up and placing them where he had previously found them. 

The home was much too quiet for his liking, reminding him of his own. He wanted to hear you speak, to hear music going or your tv running. He wanted sound to lessen out the noises in his head… and he could only imagine the voices in yours. 

Walking over to your room, Kylo stood at the threshold and found you sitting there, looking out the foggy window that had fresh rain trickling down. You held something in your hand, a small white frame… an image of you and your mother. The same from the day before. Sucking in his breath, he tread towards you. 

Feeling a shadow cast upon you, your watery eyes lifted up to meet those of your lover. You gave him yet another weak smile, in hopes that was enough, but the sadness in his eyes told you otherwise. You couldn’t hide your own emotions, nor would you, but you didn’t want to bring him down with you. 

Suddenly, you felt Kylo’s hand on your chin, thumb gently caressing your cheek. “Would you like for me to set up a bath?” He asked with a kind, small smile. 

Nodding your head, Kylo leaned in and kissed your nose, then your right cheekbone before he let go of your chin and left your sight. For a man many hated, he treated you so kindly… better than anyone you had ever known…

Maneuvering around your bathroom, setting up your tub and filling it up with water and suds, Kylo sat on your covered toilet as he pressing his elbows into his knees and the heels of his palms into his eyes. He rubbed at them before he grabbed onto his hair. His heart couldn’t handle seeing you so… solemn. 

“The bath is ready,” Kylo spoke up from behind you as you stared at the frame in your grip. Blinking away your tears, you settled the picture on your nightstand before standing up. Turning and seeing Kylo standing by the door of your bathroom with his hand extended out, you walked towards him and took it. 

Being gently pulled into the bathroom, Kylo used his free hand to cup your cheek as he kissed your other, then resting his forehead against your own. “I’m always here… you can always talk to me…” he softly spoke as you nodded, eyes shut and breathing in deeply. 

“I know…” you responded.

At that, Kylo took a small step back and helped undress you. He sat on the edge of the tub and helped bathe you as you sat in silence the entire time, deep in thought. 

The next day went the same. You left the bed, took a seat on the couch with Cat, Kylo guiding you to sit with him for breakfast… you eyed a photo of your mother and you were brought to the tub. 

“I’ll be right back,” Kylo said as your phone rang. He stood after caressing your cheek, giving you a small nod before he exited the bathroom and leaving you there. 

You stared at the bathroom wall, pulling your knees in as your mind went back to your mother. Although you did think about her most of the time, you usually had Kylo right there with you to at least look at and remember you weren’t alone. But for the slightest of time, sitting there alone, in silence… with nothing to look at, it all came crashing down. 

“She hasn’t spoken, Leia,” Kylo said into the phone. “I can’t tell her, it’ll tear her apart more than—“ Hearing a distant whimper followed by sobbing, Kylo nearly tossed your phone onto your bed before running into your bathroom. Seeing you crying into your palms as your body trembled, Kylo’s heart sank. 

Not bothering to undress from his sweats and shirt, Kylo got into your tub. He sat behind you and pulled you into his chest, wrapping his arms around you as he held your head against his beating heart. Running his fingers along your back as you bawled into his embrace, Kylo rested his cheek against your head. 

Your body shook against him as your tears streamed down your cheeks. A weeks worth of tears coming down all at once as Kylo held you close. Your breathing was shaky and your heart was racing… but the sound of Kylo’s beating heart slowly brought stability to you. The sound grew stronger the more you focused on it. And the more you focused, the less your body trembled. 

Kylo didn’t entirely know what to say, foreign to this situation and working on instinct. He knew that body contact must've done something… just the mere idea of having someone to touch or hold on to, kept him grounded so he assumed the same would happen to you. “I’m here…”

Feeling his chest rumble as he spoke, you took in deep, shaky breaths as you shut your eyes and listened to his heart. You clung onto his wet shirt, cheek pressed into his chest as your body melted into his. His heart was somehow slowly bringing you peace as you sat there with him. You listened and listened until your dark thoughts were drowned out. Until all you heard was his heart and his breathing. 

Your trembling slowly came to a stop. Kylo lowered his focus from the bathroom wall, to your head. Gently rubbing his fingers against your scalp, he felt you shift enough to look up at him with sad eyes. “I’m sorry…”

“ _ Angel… _ ” shaking his head, Kylo wiped your cheeks, even if his hands were already wet from the tub.

“Your clothes are all wet…” you mumbled, but Kylo gave you a gentle smile before kissing your forehead. “Because of—“

“I made that decision on my own. You come first,” he said, looking you deeply in the eyes. “I’m here for you…  _ always _ .”

Slowly nodding your head, you lifted yourself, kissing his cheek before resting your head against him. You were starting to freeze, nude body partially out of the water, cold air hitting you. You began to tremble again, but this time because your body desired heat. 

Realizing this, Kylo lifted you in his arms as he climbed out. Settling you down as he grabbed a towel and wrapped you in it, he went to drain the water from the tub before undressing himself. Grabbing a towel for himself and wrapping it around his waist as he tossed the wet clothes into the tub, he walked out to grab you some clothes before coming back and helping you dry up and get dressed. 

Bringing you to your bed as he kissed your temple, Kylo held your chin, “I’m going to shower, I’ll be quick.”

Nodding your head, you gave him a small smile, “okay…”

Watching you get under your sheets as you shivered, Kylo aimed for the bathroom and dropped the towel from his waist. When he said he would be quick, he meant it. He rushed himself in washing his hair and body, not wanting to be away from you for too long… even if you seemed the slightest of better. 

Exiting the shower and drying himself and his hair as much as he could, he exited the bathroom and shut the lights before seeing an empty bed. Feeling his heart skip a beat as he panicked, no longer seeing you there, he rushed right out of your bedroom. 

“Kylo?” You called out, seeing the crazed man stop in his tracks and snap his head towards you. “Are you—“

Running up to you and tugging you into a tight embrace, Kylo kissed your cheek. “I thought you—“

“Left?”

“Yes…” Kylo said as he had let you go, seeing you had been holding a glass of water. “But you didn’t…”

“Mm-mm…” you shook your head, sipping your water. “I was thirsty…”

Nodding, Kylo reached for your hand and brought you with him, back to your bed. He spent most of the afternoon cuddling with you in bed, napping and keeping you warm. Eventually, he got dressed and decided to make you dinner. 

Setting up the table and sitting next to one another, surrounded by the silence that wasn’t hostile nor uncomfortable, you ate your whole plate before you looked at Kylo. He was taking his last bites before he turned his head to face you, food staining the side of his mouth. Wiping it away with your napkin as you gave him a small smile, Kylo swallowed his food before he leaned forward and nuzzled your cheek with his nose. 

Cleaning up the table and dishes, the two of you went back to bed as the tv in your room softly played an old comedy as background noise. Kylo sat beside you as he held you close to him, enthralled in the show as if he hadn’t watched TVin which, he hardly did when he didn’t even have a TV in his loft. 

Gazing at him as he calmly watched the TV while caressing the skin of your shoulder, you couldn’t help but think about how good he was to you. How he cared. How he had put you first. Your heart fluttered at  the thought of him never leaving your side. Not once. 

Blushing, you sat up enough to kiss the tip of his jaw before whispering in his ear “I love you.”


	14. Chapter 14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Just as things are starting to look up, a certain ginger ruins the fun. (NSFW)

Kylo could feel your breath linger against his ear as a shiver ran down his spine. “ _ I love you _ ,” your words echoed in his head as his heart fluttered. 

You love him… you love him? Were you sure? You must’ve been joking, of course! It wasn’t real. A figment of his imagination! But when he turned his head to look at you, and saw the truth presented between those beautiful eyes of yours… he knew it to be true. 

You did love him. 

Seeing that sweet smile on your lips as you eyed him, Kylo felt his insides twist as the sudden urge to puke hit him. Why was he suddenly so nervous? Was it because you had said something he’s heard a ton but knew no one meant… except you? Or was it the fact that you had been going through hell and still found love in your heart to share. 

You were an incredible woman and Kylo would never take that from you. You had his heart, now, forever… and always. 

“I love you, Kylo…” you repeated, voice hushed as your eyes lowered to his lips. “More than my heart could handle…”

Reaching over and resting his hand on the tip of your jaw, just under your ear, Kylo pulled you to him as he leaned in. He kissed you feverishly, as if this were the last he could ever give you. And you reciprocated it… or, at least tried, knowing Kylo was far more aggressive about it. But… in an enjoyable way. 

Breathing against one another as your tongues intertwined and your hands never left each other, Kylo pulled back enough to nuzzle your cheek with his nose. Taking a moment to catch his breath, Kylo placed both hands on your cheeks as he lifted his head, looking you in the eyes, “I love you, my muse.” Feeling a small smile tug at his lips as he gazed into your eyes, he nodded, “I’ve  _ always _ loved you.”

Feeling your heart skip a beat as your eyebrows narrowed for a moment before your eyes widened, Kylo pressed his lips against yours once again. Except, this time, it was much more passionate… and you were frozen with a racing heart.

“ _ Always _ .”

Feeling his words against your lips as you leaned into him, Kylo’s hands slid under the oversized sweatshirt you had been wearing. His warm hands finding the skin of your hips as he pulled you closer to him, digging his digits into your flesh. With you sitting before him, Kylo brought you on top of him as your hands held his face. Reaching his hands higher up your body, feeling your soft skin against his rough palms, he shivered. 

Tugging at the ends of his hair as you kissed him back with as much want and desire, you pressed yourself closer to him as you felt his hands reach your breasts. You felt the way his fingers twitched against them, kneading the flesh, massaging your skin and groping them. A small whimper left your lips as he pinched your nipples before squeezing your breasts again. 

The two of you breathed heavily against one another, panting and huffing. Kylo brought your hips against his, grinding up into you as you let a moan escape your lips. You couldn’t help but slip away from the kiss and turn your focus to his clothed hips pressing up into you. Moving your hips with him, trying to match his beat, Kylo lifted your shirt from your body and tossed it to a side. 

He eyed your chest, hips steadying as he took in deep breaths. Lifting his hands to trace your collarbones and shoulders, carefully trailing his fingertips along, he leaned in and left featherlike kisses up your neck. It felt as if butterflies were fluttering against your skin with how gentle his lips were. With a swift lick and tiny bite, Kylo left minuscule love bites along your exposed skin. 

Bringing his large hands to the expanse of your back, his kisses lowered down your chest, leaning you back and kissing your belly before moving back up and looking at you. You gave him a lazy smile, feeling the warmth in your heart and blood rush with his sweet kisses and gentle touches. It almost seemed as if he was looking at you for approval to oneup his  _ moves _ on you. And you wanted it. 

Lifting you up, he settled you beneath him on your bed before he tugged off your sweatpants. Removing his own shirt and tossing it to where your sweatpants had landed, Kylo leaned into you and left a trail of kisses down from your forehead to your hip bones, all the way to your ankles. He made his way back up before he hovered abovf you, your hand caressing his hard chest, feeling the gentle skin he had. Just as smooth as his hair. 

Gazing into one another’s eyes before you pulled him back into a kiss, he eventually removed his pants and was in nothing but his underwear like you. Gliding your hand along his arm as your other buried into his hair, Kylo lifted your legs and began to rub himself against you. Except, this time, you felt a lot more when all that was left was your underwear. 

Moaning his name and begging for more as he deepened his false thrusts, Kylo pulled back and pulled off your underwear swiftly. Clutching onto it as he kept himself propped before you, he felt your hand linger dangerously close to his groin as you caressed his thigh. “Eager little muse you are.”

“Mhm…” You hummed, nodding your head and showing him just how eager you were. “I want to feel  _ you _ .  _ All _ of you.”

Looking down at you and seeing the hunger in your eyes, Kylo used his free hand to lower his underwear enough to pull himself out. He could see how red your face grew as you shifted in your spot, desperate. Lifting your legs again, this time around his waist, he pressed himself against you and rocked his hips, teasing you as you felt his length. 

“ _ Kylo _ …” You whined. 

Grinning, he rolled his hips, his dick meeting your clit as your heart skipped a beat. And he noticed the change in your reaction. “Jittery one.”

Rolling your eyes and shaking your head, Kylo did the same movement, causing you to gasp. Your heart thumped against your rib cage as he did it again… and again. Again and again, on and on until you couldn’t take it and dug your nails into his thighs… in which he finally respond. Adjusting himself and slotting into you, Kylo guided himself and sunk into you, feeling how tight you were, imagining how the stretch must’ve been for you. 

Hearing your breath hitch as your eyes shut, lips parted with sporadic breathing, Kylo pulled back enough—or too much—and pushed in. Your heart sank and stopped for a moment as you registered what was happening. 

Attacking your neck with kisses and bites, Kylo thrusted his hips against you as your hands slid up his back and dug into his air. A string of moans and gasps left your mouth as he bucked his hips. 

“I’ve wanted… this… for so long…” Kylo breathed into your neck, sucking at your skin as your eyes rolled back in pleasure. 

“Me too…” you nearly whispered, shutting your eyes as you tugged at his hair. 

Your passionate love making was drowned out by the sound of late night showers. The rain patting against your window as thunder hummed in the sky. The two of you climaxed and the sounds of your breathing echoed in your room as the flashing lights of your tv screen illuminated your bodies. 

Pulling out and kissing your chest, Kylo fell to his side and eyed you. He watched the way your chest heaved and how your eyes stayed shut before slowly opening. A smile grew on your lips, making his heart skip a beat before you turned your head and looked at him. “And I thought your fingers were perfect…” you muttered, earning a smirk from Kylo. 

“It’s a good thing I have big hands, huh?” He hummed, gazing at you. 

“And a big dick,” you chuckled before rolling towards him, reaching the back of his head and pulling him into a gentle kiss. “I love you.”

Smiling against your lips, Kylo lifted his own to kiss your forehead before mumbling against it, “I love you more.” Wrapping his arms around you as he brought you on top of him, he trailed his fingertips along your spine as he looked out the window. “I’ll always be here for you…  _ Always _ .”

Smiling and feeling your eyes tear up, you nuzzled your face into his neck. “Thank you…” Taking in a shaky breath, you shut your eyes and focused on the feeling of his heart beating against you, how his warmth encased you and how his skin felt against yours. You felt at ease. You felt at home. More than you actually did in an actual house. 

 

* * *

 

The sound of meowing had awoken you. Your half asleep state lazily pulling you off of a dead asleep Kylo, knowing very well Cat wouldn’t stop unless you fed her. During breakfast (the previous day) Kylo had talked about the feline, telling you her name and how she was a neighborhood cat that he brought in. She was the kind to wander out but always came right back to Kylo and… well, ended up staying ever since. 

Except that one time you saw her stuck outside in the rain. 

She was sweet and had liked you, always rubbing herself against you and resting herself beside you whenever you sat on the couch. She would curl up and purr next to you, almost as if comforting you in such solemn times. 

Lifting yourself, shivering from the lack of coverage, you eyed Kylo for a moment. His pursed lips, gentle snores leaving him… how peaceful his expression was. You only imagined what he dreamt about. Maybe he dreamt about being as famous as Davinci or Dali… You couldn’t help but chuckle at the thought. He was much too closed off to be big. 

Gently kissing his cheek, you stood from the bed and pulled on one his shirts and a slipped into pair of panties before walking right out. 

“ _ Mrrrooow _ …”

“I know, I know. I’ve got you, sweetie.” Setting up Cat’s bowls—filling the one Kylo had set near the door of your apartment—you filled her food and added more water, earning a rub against your leg from her. Stepping away, you watched as she ate, smiling before crouching and kissing her little head. “Proof that Kylo Ren has a heart.” Seeing her fluffy white face look up at you for a moment, you winked before standing up and returning to your bed. 

Quietly shutting the door behind you and walking towards the bed, you suddenly stopped at the sight of your framed picture on your nightstand. Sucking in a deep breath and reaching over, you brushed your fingers over it, wearing a small smile. You knew she would’ve liked Kylo if she met him… and you were hoping she could. 

Feeling the lack of heat and weight on his chest, Kylo frowned as his eyes fluttered open. Searching the room, he spotted you standing there in his shirt that was much too large for you. Sitting up and reaching for you, he caught your attention as you looked over and gave him a heartwarming smile. “Come back…”

Chuckling, you took his hand as he tugged you back to bed with him. He kissed your cheeks before tucking you into his chest, wrapping himself around you like a koala to a tree. He didn’t want to let go… and you didn’t want him too, either. “Cat was hungry, I went to feed her.”

“Hmm…” he hummed into your hair, rubbing his fingers against your scalp as he felt himself fall back to sleep. 

“She’s adorable…” you said into his chest, gently caressing the skin, leaving small kisses as he sighed in content. 

“Mhm…”

“Kylo?” You furrowed your eyebrows. 

“Mmm…”

“Are you falling back to sleep?” Trying to look up at him, you felt the movements in your hair cease. “You did…” Taking in a deep breath, you thought you’d do the same.

Eventually, after nearly two hours, the two of you peeled yourselves from one another, Kylo getting his sketchbook and drawing you. You rested beside him, watching him do so in a calming silence.

“You’re built like a Greek sculpture…” you randomly spoke up, “or… like David… but hotter,” you snickered as Kylo grinned. 

“With a much bigger dick, though,” Kylo added as you laughed. 

“That’s very true,” you smiled. “You got the big hair, kinda… not as curly. Michelangelo should make a sculpture out of you…”

“I think he should make you instead,” Kylo countered, looking over at you, “you’re much more intriguing.”

“Mm-mm… I don’t want any other person seeing me nude. Just you.” Lifting his eyebrows at your response, you winked. “Would you?”

“No,” Kylo quickly answered, earning a giggle from you. 

“Now that I think of it… all of the David’s can’t compare to you…” you said as Kylo narrowed his eyebrows. “They all had small—“

“Oh, muse…” Kylo shook his head as you laughed again, sitting up and crawling to him. He was more than glad that you were in a good mood, enjoying the sound of your voice and laughter. 

You took his sketchbook and settled it to a side before straddling him, “I’m just teasing…” kissing him, you suddenly heard your stomach grumble as you frowned. 

“Why don’t we share a shower and go get something to eat?” Kylo offered as you nodded, lifting you in his arms as he brought you with him to the shower. You didn’t take too long, not thoroughly enjoying it with how hungry you had become. You decided you’d share a bath later that night. 

Finding yourselves at a little bakery, seated by a window as Kylo sat beside you with his arm wrapped over your seat, the two of you ate your pastries and sweets, sharing small conversations. You knew Kylo wasn’t much to hold conversations, expressing more with his actions, but when he did speak, it always had you so intrigued. 

“I don’t know how many times I’ve been to the MET and not be able to finish it,” Kylo confessed. “It’s too large and… well, I haven’t gone in years. I normally went for my classes.”

“Really? I’ve been once and only had like three hours on me and I have never rushed through a museum so quickly. I did see the Monet and Van Gogh’s they had, that was impressive…” You nodded, looking over at Kylo as you finished up your croissant. 

“Maybe we should go today?” Kylo offered. “We could use some time away surrounded by art.”

“What do you mean? I’ve been surrounded by art for two days,” You nonchalantly said as you sipped your drink. You could feel Kylo’s confused expression on you, causing you to look up and sigh, “you, Kylo.”

Feeling himself blush, Kylo gulped. “Me?”

Shaking your head, you reached your hand into his smooth hair, “yes, you. You’re a work of art.” Seeing his blush darken, you leaned in and kissed his cheek. “Better than any painting or sculpture an Italian Renaissance master has ever made.”

“You don’t know what you’re saying…” Kylo mumbled, looking away, but you caught his chin and turned his head, kissing his lips. 

“I  _ do _ .”

Looking down at you, Kylo nuzzled his nose into your hair before leaving a small kiss. “You’re too sweet for me.”

Leaving the bakery, hand in hand as you walked along the sidewalk, someone suddenly rammed into you. Stumbling back, Kylo caught you in time, making sure you were okay before looking up to see who it had been. 

“Ugh, it’s you two,” the ginger spat, looking down and seeing you hold hands with Kylo. “Ren, holding hands with the Resistance mut’s friend?”

Glaring, you felt Kylo’s hand tighten around yours. “That’s none of your business,” Kylo seethed. 

“Oh, it is,” Hux grinned. “Snoke will not be pleased by this.”

“Snoke does not have to know,” Kylo snarled. “And you wouldn’t dare tell him or I’ll make sure you can’t use those beloved cameras of yours again. Let alone, your hands.”

Feeling his lip twitch, Hux clenched his fists, “I don’t take well to threats,  _ traitor _ .”

Nodding, Kylo smirked, “yes… Of course you don’t. Because you shit your pants like the pansy you are.  _ Rat _ .” At that, Kylo tugged you away. 

  
Standing there, irritated and vexed, Hux pulled out his phone and viciously typed in a familiar number, “it seems as if your beloved Ren is still involved with the Resistance,” he said into the phone once the other line was picked up, “he is secretly dating  _ that _ woman.”


	15. Chapter 15

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Some interactions are hard to forget.

Kylo had been dragging you along with him at a speed you couldn’t possibly match. You were practically running beside him, panting and trying to catch your breath. Nearly tripping, you tugged him back. “Kylo!”

Snapping his head over at you, eyebrows narrowed, nostrils flared and teeth bared, his face suddenly softened at the sight of your distress. “I’m sorry…”

Nodding, taking in deep breaths, you looked down for a moment, only to feel Kylo’s hand slip from your own. Looking up at him, seeing him rub his face, you reached over and lowered his hands, “hey… everything’s going to be alright.”

“What if he tells him?” He asked with a panicked tone. “What if he tells Snoke about you and I? What if he finds out?”

“Then…” sucking in a deep breath, you shrugged, “he does.”

“No,” Kylo shook his head, pulling away as he ran his fingers through his hair, “I  _ don’t _ want him to see you. I don’t need him meeting you. The man is a conniving, bitter, rotten soul who—“

“Kylo,” you interrupted, reaching up and cupping his cheeks, “he can’t get in between you and I. I love you, handsome. I really do, okay? I’ve wanted to be with you for so long… and you feel the same. We can’t let him or anyone get in our way of our happiness…” you said as Kylo kept his eyes locked on you, steadying his racing heart. “It’s you and I… that’s all that matters…” you nodded. “And Cat…”

Feeling a small smile grow on his face, he gave you a single nod. “I’m just… afraid of what he could do to  _ you _ . I could care less if he ruined my career… as long as he doesn’t  _ touch _ you.”

Hearing Kylo’s voice soften, you shook your head. “He will never, okay? It’s just us. You and me, baby.” Giving him a sweet smile, you tiptoed and kissed him. “And now we’re going to go on our first real date to a museum.”

Seeing your grin, feeling his heart flutter, Kylo leaned in and pressed his forehead against yours. “My muse…”

Shutting your eyes as you bit your bottom lip, you slid your hand into his as your other weaved into his hair. Feeling Kylo tilt his head as his nose pressed against your cheek, he kissed you before he leaned away. The two of you then turned and looked for a taxi. 

 

* * *

 

Both you and Kylo were completely enthralled in the art you were surrounded by. The MET was massive and it seemed almost impossible to see all of it in one day in peace. You couldn’t quite do it all, but you tried spending enough time in certain galleries and era’s you liked most. 

“Damn…” You said as the two of you stood in the Greek exhibit. “It’s like you were based off of all of these when you were created.”

Rolling his eyes and shaking his head, Kylo grinned before he tugged you away. “Sure.”

“I am not wrong… this is crazy…” you said in awe, wide eyed and being pulled around, almost as if you were a child. “You don’t understand how beautiful your body is, Kylo!” Turning your focus back to him, he shook his head, keeping his focus ahead as he blushed. 

“Right…” he huffed, but you groaned and caught up with him. 

“Do I have to ride you or something to make you understand?” You asked, suddenly hearing Kylo choke. 

“It’s not that I… don’t see it… I just…”

Walking around him and stopping there, you looked up at him and crossed your arms. “You just?” Seeing his blush deepen, you grinned. “You’re so cute.” Grabbing his hand, you lead the way. 

Kylo had never been so talkative before with the way he was now, explaining almost every single work of art you encountered. It was almost as if he were your personal tour guide and you couldn’t help but smile during the entire visit. 

“I wanna see your art being put in a glass case one day,” you said as the two of you stood in the Vincent Van Gogh gallery. “Maybe you can have a self portrait like he did,” you pointed, eyeing the self portrait of Van Gogh. 

“I rarely draw myself,” Kylo confessed. “It’s a good exercise but… not my forte.”

“If I could paint I’d paint you all the time,” you said, eyes still focused on the self portrait. 

Looking down at you and grinning, Kylo wrapped his arm around you. “Well, it's a good thing you don’t need to paint me when you have me.”

Feeling your smile widen, you looked up at him, “that was cheesy.” Seeing him fake a pout, you tiptoed and kissed his bottom lip. “I love it.”

“Come on,” taking your hand in his, he tugged you away as you couldn’t help but laugh. 

You had lost track of time, squeezing your way through the dozens of galleries. You knew there was a lot to see, but it was overwhelming—in every good way—but you knew you wouldn’t be able to finish it all. The museum was soon to close and you soon found yourself in another cab that Kylo gave the address to. 

“Where are we going?” You asked as he buckled in. 

“You’ll see,” he grinned, placing his hand on your thigh as you wrapped your arm around his. 

“Is this a surprise?”

“In a way, yes,” Kylo nodded. 

“Are you going to ask me to be your girlfriend?” You raised an eyebrow, smiling at him. 

Furrowing his eyebrows, Kylo eyed you, “aren’t you already? Since I had...” lifting three of his fingers and making the obscene gesture, Kylo continued, “to you…”

Squinting your eyes, you then sighed, “yeah… I guess…”

Eyeing you, Kylo shook his head, “do you want me to ask?”

Looking up at him, you shook your head, “nah…”

Smirking, Kylo leaned in and kissed your cheek, “will you be my girlfriend?”

“Kylo…” you mumbled, smiling as he kissed your neck and asked you again. “Kylo, I was—“

“Will you?” He asked for a third time, kissing your shoulder. 

“We are already—“

“ _ Muse _ …” he grumbled. 

“Okay, yes, I’ll be your girlfriend,” you nodded, looking at him as he scooted closer to you, “ _ Kylo _ …”

“Now I’m your  _ official _ boyfriend,” he teased as you rolled your eyes. “Guess I have to propose now. Does a tin foil ring work?”

Giggling, you nodded, “or a ring pop!”

“Hmm… I don’t have the money for that. Too expensive,” he hummed. 

“Alright, tinfoil. Don’t disappoint me,” you winked as Kylo smirked. 

“I wouldn’t dare.”

 

* * *

 

“Where are we?” You asked as the cab came to a stop. 

Paying the taxi driver and exiting the car, reaching his hand out for you as you took it, Kylo smiled, “you’ll see.”

“You said that already!” You laughed, slipping out of the car, “what’s the—“  cutting yourself off and seeing nothing but trees, your eyebrows narrowed. “Kylo?”

Turning and walking, you followed as he went down a pathway of rocks on the grassy plain. He stayed silent, letting your mind wander as you treaded with curious eyes. You wondered as to where it was he was taking you in a field of trees. 

Seeing Kylo stop before you, you followed his lead and stood beside him. Turning your attention, your eyes landed on a glass structure… a  _ greenhouse _ . “Kylo…”

Looking over at you with a smirk, Kylo continued on as you nearly stumbled. He lead you to the entrance, opening one of the two large doors and allowing you in first as a sudden gasp left your lips. 

It was much bigger on the inside…  _ somehow _ . Tall glass walls and roofing, green everywhere, butterflies fluttering and the sounds of nature. Your eyes widened. You were speechless at the breathtaking scenery around you. How had you never seen or heard of it before?

“Kylo, how do you… How did you…” unable to formulate a sentence as you gazed at the towering trees and wall crawling vines, you found yourself completely enthralled. 

“My grandmother owns it,” he casually stated as he let go of your hand, walking towards a bridge that overlapped a large pond. 

“Your grand—“ blinking a few times, turning to see where he went, your jaw fell open. “P— P—“

“Hello, my little star,” the old woman greeted with a warm smile, walking towards the towering man. 

“Not so little. Hi, nana,” Kylo hunched, allowing the small woman to encase him in a hug. 

“Pah…  _ Padmé Amidala _ …” you nearly whispered. You knew of her, she was the founder of the New Republic fashion line as well as the biggest sponsor of the Resistance Magazine. She was a legend. A fashion icon. And you had never met her before… only knew stories from Leia and your father. 

Letting go of her grandson and looking over at you, Padmé’s smile widened. “You must be  _ her _ …” she said as your heart skipped a beat. 

“H— Her?” You stuttered. Kylo couldn’t help but bite his tongue. 

Nodding her head, Padmé walked towards you. She had this elegance about her, the way she walked… the way she dressed. It was obvious she was the mother of Leia, they shared the same taste in fine fashion. “Yes, you, my dear.”

“I…” looking at her, then over at Kylo, he stuffed his hands in the pockets of his black jeans as he casually looked away. “Wha— Through my father? Or…” You asked, looking back at Padmé. 

Letting out a gentle laugh as she shook her head, Padmé smiled, “by my grand baby. He talks very highly of you.”

Blushing and smiling back at her, your eyes shifted to Kylo—who had found more interest in the crystal ceiling than your conversation with Padmé. “He… does?”

“Of course he does. He’s always spoken about you, ever since he was a little boy,” Padmé responded as your heart fluttered. “More so, as of late. I think it’s fair to say he has a crush on you,” she teased as you couldn’t help but chuckle. 

“I would say so…” you nodded, looking over at the man who still had his back facing you. “He’s a bit awkward towards me… maybe that’s it?”

Enjoying your humor, Padmé’s smile grew as she took your hand in hers. “It is truly nice to finally meet you. My daughter has mentioned you before, and I have met your father. Maybe he brought you here to propose,” she winked as your eyes rounded. 

“I—“

“I am only pulling your leg,” she shook her head as you let out a small breath. “Well, truly, I don’t know. He never told me anything.”

“Oh?” You tilted your head. 

“He normally comes here to find peace away from the city. He also comes here to paint… and, I suppose, see me,” she shrugged as you let out a small laugh. “He’s never brought anyone else with him before… nothing but his art supplies. Always has a bag with him. But this time, he brought you.”

Feeling the heat rush to your cheeks, you eyed Kylo and smiled, biting your inner lip. “I guess I should be honored.”

“Mhm,” Padmé smiled. “I mean, my daughter didn’t introduce us to her now husband until… a while later. Not because she was afraid, she just… well, she was enjoying her youth with him as she should. She traveled the world with him, did a lot together… She was—and still is—completely in love with that boy. I call him a boy because he is younger and I am allowed.”

Laughing, you couldn’t help but imagine how Leia was with Han. How she must’ve been when they first met, when they first went on a date… when he proposed… got married. You looked at Kylo again, and for the first time ever, you truly wanted that with someone. 

“And I can tell you love  _ him _ ,” Padmé added, almost as if she had listened to your thoughts. “And he loves you, too.”

Sucking in a small breath and thinking about the night before, how you confessed… and how he felt the same, your heart swelled up. “I do… and he does, too…”

“Good, because I am tired of him being lonely. He’s a fine young man…” she paused, “when you look past his extremely harsh personality towards others…” she whispered, earning a snort from you. “But, there’s only a few that see his good side, and you are one. And I’m sure he does a lot more for you than he’ll ever do for the other few he cares for.”

Thinking about how he worried a weeks worth about you when you were at the hospital with your mother, how he stayed by your bedside the whole time you were hospitalized… how he stayed to make sure you weren’t indirectly harming yourself. You knew he cared for you. He always had. You just wished you had been with him since the beginning. 

“I’m right, aren’t I?” She tilted her head as you nodded. “Go on, I think I’ve embarrassed him enough,” Padmé nudged her head in Kylo’s direction as she let go of your hand. “And thank you,” she added, catching your attention as you had begun walking away. 

Smiling to yourself, you looked over at Kylo and nearly had a pep to your step as you rushed to him. Hugging him from behind, he lifted his arm and looked down at you. “Did she embarrass me?”

“I’m sure you heard her,” you playfully rolled your eyes, moving to his side and keeping an arm wrapped around his waist. “I’m happy to have met her, you have no idea.”

Eyeing you, Kylo ran his fingers through your hair, “but I’m the coolest in my family, right?”

“Oh, gosh…” you shook your head, slipping from him. 

Reaching for you and pulling you back, Kylo leaned in and kissed you. He kept you there in his arms as you smiled up at him, unable to look away. Padmé’s heart grew heavy in her chest at the sight of this. At the sight of her grandson being happy for once in her greenhouse. At the sight of the genuine love that radiated off of the two of you. 

She had never felt more thankful for a person like she did for you. 

“Will you show me your favorite spot?” You asked as Kylo had taken your hand and walked you with him, around the greenhouse. 

“My favorite spot?” He furrowed his eyebrows as you nodded. 

“Yeah, where you painted,” you smiled. “I assume it’s your favorite spot.”

“I guess… you can say that?” He muttered, never really giving the spot much thought until now. It just so happened to be the same spot when he was working if it wasn’t still life. Guiding you along and showing you where he normally worked, the two of you came to a stop as he pointed at the ground. 

You were surrounded by shrubs and potted plants. At the center, an open spot, almost as if it was once a seating area but was now scattered in paint. “Is this the Kylo Ren spot? Could people come here and take photos and tag it on Instagram?” You teased as Kylo groaned. 

“If I could sell then yeah it would be. Snoke never thinks my work is good enough…” he admitted, earning a sudden change in mood from you. 

“What?”

“He keeps me because I’m his apprentice and I have  _ some potential and some skill _ , according to him. I stay because I have a home I don’t have to pay for in an overpriced environment,” he shrugged. “I never took any of my parents money, anyway. I moved out without a word and worked on my own to earn a living.”

Looking up at Kylo, hand still in his as he eyed the splattered paint, you frowned. “You’re worth so much more…”

“Thanks…”

“No, I mean it!” You nodded as he looked over at you. “You— You’re so talented, Kylo. With your figurative and abstract work! I mean, I would buy it all if I could! I actually can—“

“No, you—“

“I love your work, Kylo. I’ve seen your stuff… I’ve done my research, too, when you’re not around. Believe me, you are so worth it. Snoke doesn’t want to admit it. He’s an asshole,” you shrugged as Kylo grinned. 

“Did I hear you cuss?” He poked as you sighed. 

“Whatever,  _ Ren _ .”

“Ren, huh?” He slowly nodded as you huffed. “You’re passionate.”

“Of course I am! I love you! I support you! I want what’s best for you, Kylo. I want your work to be loved by everyone and I want to see it everywhere… knowing I have the best work of art just in arms reach…” you said, looking up at him. “Snoke knows you’re good. He’s afraid of that.”

Taking in a deep breath, Kylo slowly nodded. “If only you could be my art dealer.”

“Don’t give me ideas,” you shook your head, “I’d be all over the place and I would make sure to rub it in Snoke’s face. Kylo Ren authentic work all over the city.” 

Smiling down at you, Kylo leaned in to kiss your forehead before looking in your eyes. “You’re too good to me…  _ too _ good.”

Shaking your head, you pulled him into a loving kiss. You stayed there for longer than expected, getting lost in the calming environment, wanting nothing more than to become one with it. Eventually, when the two of you chose to pull away, you enjoyed some time eyeing the plants growing before you said your goodbyes to Padmé and went to dinner before heading to his loft. You wanted nothing more than to just buy a studio and fill it with Kylo’s art and sell it on your own. You wanted him to further succeed, to make connections and get his name a bigger following. 

And you definitely wanted to get rid of—

“Snoke?” Kylo froze.


	16. Chapter 16

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kylo believed he finally found peace, but Snoke has something else planned for his disobedient apprentice... (NSFW)

At the sound of the name, your heart sank. 

At the sight of the man, Kylo’s throat went dry. 

Turning to face the two of you as he waited before Kylo’s door, his threatening glare shifted from his apprentice to…  _ you _ . “ _ Finally _ ,” Snoke sighed, a wicked grin growing on his lips. “Ren has finally brought his new muse for me to meet, hmm?”

Watching Snoke’s sudden change in mood as his facial expression shifted, Kylo took a sudden defensive stance before you.

You noticed. 

Snoke noticed. 

Sucking in a deep breath and clenching his fists as his apprentice hid you behind him, Snoke lifted his head. “I assume you are bringing her in?”

“Why?” Kylo asked through tight teeth, earning a sudden glare from Snoke as the man took a step closer. 

“To paint her, of course. She is a model after all,” Snoke grinned.

“No,” Kylo answered. 

“No,  _ what _ ?” Snoke seethed. 

“ _ No _ .”

“Are you preventing me from drawing the woman?” Snoke tilted his head as you reached over to hold onto Kylo’s shirt. 

“She is  _ busy _ as it is with me, Snoke,” Kylo hissed. “She isn’t going to model now.”

“She has a mouth, she can speak for herself,  _ Ren _ .”

“No means no,” Kylo snarled. 

Snoke didn’t know what no meant. No one ever told him no when he wanted what he wanted. And what he wanted was you. “It is not wise for you to say no to me. Your  _ master _ .” He reminded as Kylo squinted his eyes. 

“Your master? That is nothing but a title!” Kylo nearly stomped. “You can find yourself another model.”

“Is that because she’s  _ yours _ ?” Snoke asked as Kylo fell still. “Hux gave me a call earlier mentioning how my apprentice was seen with the woman who was friends with that Resistance runt.” Looking over at you, your jaw tightened. “For all we know your little whore here is just using you and is actually sleeping around with—“ 

The sound of a loud smack silenced Snoke as Kylo’s eyes widened. A large red mark encased the side of his pale face as you stood there before him with narrowed eyebrows and tight fists. “I will not be disrespected by some rotting corpse or anyone of that matter.”

Feeling his cheek sting as his deadly gaze shifted from you, to Kylo, Snoke clenched his jaw before storming off, furious and full of rage. He was not going to take that lightly. 

Stepping to your side, as he had watched your hand come into contact with Snoke’s cheek, Kylo carefully reached for your wrist and eyed your palm. “Are you okay?”

“Mmmh…” you shrugged. “Someone had to shut him up…” you said, looking up at Kylo who had worry in his eyes. 

Sucking in a deep breath, he leaned in and kissed your forehead before pulling you inside with him. He went straight for his fridge, grabbing some ice and placing it in a plastic bag and settling it on your palm. “I’m sorry…” he mumbled as you looked up at him. 

“Why?” You shook your head as he kept his focus low on your palm. 

“I feel like an imbecile. I didn’t stand up for you—“

“I didn’t give you a chance to,” you answered with a shrug. “It’s okay, handsome, I don’t need you defending me when I can do it myself.”

“It’s not that,” he sighed, “I don’t want harm following you. No matter what. I know you can defend yourself, but you can only do so much…” Looking at you, Kylo frowned. “For once… for once I truly care for someone and I would destroy the world if I had to to keep you out of harm's way, muse.”

Gently smiling up at him, you nodded. “I know, my love. I know. And I will always appreciate that.” Using your free hand to caress his hair and cup his cheek, you caressed his soft skin with your thumb. “Would you like for me to model for you? It’s been a while since you’ve painted me…”

Eyeing you, Kylo took in a deep breath before nodding. Turning his head to kiss your palm, he leaned his head into it as he gazed into your kind eyes that wanted nothing more than to love and support him. 

“Then maybe I need that robe again…” you trailed, earning a small smile from Kylo as he casually slipped from you, leaving the ice in your throbbing palm. 

You calmly waited, lifting the ice from your palm and eyeing it, seeing how red it had become, you sighed. You had wondered what the real reason behind Kylo staying under Snoke’s wing was. There had to have been more that you didn’t know about. And you didn’t want to push it, either. 

Hearing Kylo approach you, you looked over and smiled at him as you took the robe in your free hand. “Thank you.”

“You don’t have to—“

“I  _ want _ to,” you nodded, settling the ice behind you in the tiny sink before winking his way and aiming for his bathroom. 

It was obvious that he had seen you nude, but you hadn’t had the chance to look yourself in the mirror and you wanted to look good—not just for him but for yourself. Why wouldn’t you, anyway? You were going to be  _ painted _ . 

You also wanted to make sure you didn’t look like a walking corpse with the long day you had. 

Setting up his easel with the canvas and gathering the paint he needed, Kylo spotted a pack of cigarettes. He hadn’t smoked since he brought you back home from the hospital and he wasn’t sure how he had done it. It was something he did more often than not to relieve his anxiety and stress… and he knew very well he had to stop it. 

Walking toward the pack and picking it up, then looking in the direction you were in, Kylo stomped over to his trash bin and tossed it. He let out a deep sigh, an odd shiver running throughout his body as the urge itched at his skin. He wanted to better himself for you. He wanted to kill his bad habits. 

Turning back to aim for his easel, Kylo spotted you standing there, barefoot and in the oversized robe. His heart fluttered. It always did when he got to see this side of you. Watching you take a seat, leaning one arm on the arm rest and casually leaning back, the robe slipped down your shoulder, nearly exposing you. Lifting your legs to rest on the couch, you smiled over at Kylo. 

Kylo dove right into it, knowing if he stared any longer he’d fall to his knees at your will. And it was hard to keep his focus. He found his eyes lingering longer on your exposed chest, or the way the robe opened and presented your thighs. 

He wondered if you had no underwear on again… he had hoped not. 

Feeling his skin tingle, knowing very well painting you and feeling restricted wasn’t going to calm him, Kylo nearly dropped his paintbrush and palette before he rushed up to you. Your eyes widened for a moment as Kylo had approached you, only to giggle as he reached for your face and pulled you into a kiss. 

He eagerly held onto you as he kissed the life out of you, noses bumping, teeth clashing as his tongue collided with yours. Kylo began to pant against you as his shaky fingers ran along your thighs, pressing into your flash as he bit on your bottom lip. 

“This isn’t relaxing,” you teased as you ran your fingers through his hair, trying to match Kylo’s needy kisses. 

“Being with you… is enough to keep me… at ease,” he confessed, hands reaching up to the knot of the robe and pulling it apart. “I just need  _ you _ .” With a breathy voice, Kylo fell to his knees as he grabbed onto your legs and pulled your knees over his shoulders. 

Feeling your heart skip a beat as he pulled the robe right open, he nearly tugged you off of the couch as he dove right into you as if he were starving and you were a three course meal. 

And to him, you were. 

Your breathing grew staggered as you watched as his face got hidden between your thighs. Your hands reached into his hair as you threw your head back. Running your fingers through the smooth texture before tugging, you felt Kylo’s nose press against your clit as you shifted your hips. He was tongue deep in you as he gripped onto your thighs and squeezed them. 

It felt like a fantasy come true—as did everything he had with you. This relationship, the ability to simply hold you… to get intimate… to have you in such a way. Kylo’s heart raced as he got lost in his desires, moaning into you as he dug his fingertips into your skin. 

Pulling his hair as you moaned, pressing your heels into his back as his lips shifted to assault your bundle of nerves, you squeezed your eyes shut as you bit your tongue. 

“ _ Fuck _ …” Kylo mumbled against you as you squirmed. His moans grew louder the more vigorous he had become. He sucked on your nub, driving you to your edge as your whines grew louder and louder. 

Slipping his hands from your thighs, up your hips and stomach, he felt your skin against his palms before he reached for your breasts. Squeezing it in his fist as his other hand slid to press against your lower back, he tweaked your nipple as you cried out. 

Reaching for his hand and clasping onto it as his large fingers massaged your breast and teased your nipple, you mewled to the point you couldn’t sit still. Your hips shifted against his face as Kylo couldn’t help but snicker. You pressed your free hand against the back of his head as your lips parted, you shrieked his name as you came. 

But that wasn’t enough for Kylo, he lapped up your juices with his tongue before he left a trail of kisses up your stomach and chest, to your neck before he sucked on the sensitive skin and left a mark behind. 

“I needed to taste you,” he mumbled against your neck before he sat beside you, bringing you on top of him as he left dozens of kisses and hickeys against your chest and shoulders. 

“I wouldn’t mind… if you did that more often…” you smiled, looking down at him as you rested your arms over his shoulders. 

“I do get stressed often…”

“Then I expect it often,” you teased as Kylo lifted his head, looking at you as you winked. 

“Then maybe I’m still a bit hungry,” lifting you up in his arms, he brought you up to his room, dropping you on his bed as you let out a laugh. He peppered your skin with more kisses and bites, humming against your flesh  _ I love you _ ’s followed by  _ you’re too good to me.  _

And then, he dove right in to you, discovering a universe within you and tasting the galaxy’s edge. 

You lied there with a lazy smile, watching his head pop up from between your legs as he licked his lips and crawled over you. You reached over for him, eager hands pulling his face to yours as you kissed him. 

Pressing a kiss against your bottom lip and chin, he lifted himself enough to look down at you with a grin you had never seen before. “What?” You giggled. 

“What?” He shook his head. 

Nudging him, you ran your fingers through his hair. “Your smile…”

“Hmm?” 

“It’s beautiful…” you nearly whispered, lowering your hand and brushing your thumb against his bottom lip. “I love it.”

Gazing down at you as his heart skipped a beat, Kylo gulped as his eyes fluttered with tears. He had never felt his chest feel so heavy, as it did in that moment. The way you smiled up at him and caressed his cheek. How you looked so longingly into his eyes… How you made his whole body feel like mush, wanting to collapse against your loving soul. “You don’t understand… how much you—“

Suddenly, the sound of his house phone ringing cut him off. The two of you furrowing your eyebrows at the ruined moment as he huffed and stood up. 

Reaching for the phone and answering it, a voice on the other end spoke, “ _ Mr. Ren, I am calling because your loft is no longer being paid for. All future payments have been stopped and you must be evicted. We would appreciate if you would be gone with your things within the next twelve hours. If you choose to leave any belongings behind, it will be discarded. Thank you _ .”


	17. Chapter 17

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nothing can come between love.

“What the  _ fuck _ do you mean?!” Kylo spat, your eyes widening at his sudden outburst. His body was shaking and his fist was tight. “You can’t fucking do that!”

“ _ Your rent is no longer being paid for, sir _ .”

“What do you mean my rent is no longer being paid?! I’ve been up to date with every—“

“ _ We would like you to be out as soon as possible _ .”

“You’re fucking kidding me! I have been living here for six fucking years! You can’t do this to me!” Kylo yelled as you felt your heart race. His back had been facing you, but his tone was enough to tell you he was  _ furious _ . “This is my home! You can’t just—“ The sound of the dial tone caused Kylo to freeze for a moment. 

Watching him from behind, a frown grew on your lips. Standing up and tying the robe closed, you walked over to him and carefully removed the house phone from his grip, placing it down. Walking around him, you reached up to his face and held his cheeks, thumbs rubbing the smooth skin. “Hey… look at me,” you softly spoke as his narrowed eyes shifted to meet yours. 

Taking in deep breaths as he got lost in your eyes, feeling his racing heart slow it’s pace, Kylo lifted his hands to hold your wrists. Kissing either of your palms, he looked down at you as you gave him a comforting smile. “They’re evicting me.”

Slowly nodding your head, you sucked in a small breath. “Live with me…”

“I can’t do that… I can't do that to you,” he shook his head. 

“You have no choice, love. I’m not letting you live on the streets, not when my bed fits two,” you calmly spoke, seeing his chest was still heaving. “Please… we’ll bring as much as we can now to my place.”

Biting down, Kylo looked up at the ceiling covered with his sketches as he felt his eyes burn up with tears. “I’ll lose it all… They’ll discard all my art if I leave it behind…” Kylo mumbled. 

Eyeing him, you bit your inner lip before speaking, “let’s bring as much as we can, okay? We can put it all in my spare room.” Gently turning his head down to face you, you tiptoed to kiss him. “We’ll get through this. You have me. You’ll  _ always _ have me,” you nodded before grabbing his hands and kissing the back of each. 

Blinking away his tears and nodding, Kylo sucked in a deep breath. He knew very well this was Snoke’s doings. He was the only one who had access to his rent. 

* * *

You spent a good five hours moving between Kylo’s loft and your apartment, bringing as much of his art—and personal items—with you as possible. Living across the street from him was an advantage with the quick access to either home. After settling all the work in your spare room, you brought Kylo to take a quick shower before settling in bed. You had rested under the sheets with him pressed against you, letting him hold you as you comforted him. You knew he was more heartbroken than angry—although still very much furious—you knew it was hurting him to leave so much art behind and losing them. 

Eventually, after a good hour, you had fallen asleep. It was already the early hours of the morning and you knew you wouldn’t get much sleep in you, but some was better than none. It also helped that you had the time off after your mother’s incident—something that lingered in the back of your mind. 

Kylo, however, couldn’t rest. He was restless. He tried his best to keep his eyes closed, but his mind was congested and his pent up rage wasn’t sitting well with him. He waited for you to fall asleep before he carefully peeled himself from you. He stood from your bed and dressed himself before he looked over at your sleeping state. His heart swelled up for a moment. You were the most precious thing in the world and he wanted nothing more than to keep you safe in his arms… but how could he when he couldn’t even stand up to his own master? 

He felt like he failed himself. 

He felt like he failed  _ you _ . 

The urge to buy a pack of cigarettes itched at his skin as he jarred his teeth. He wanted to be better for you, he wanted to improve himself and remove those that tainted his soul. Grabbing your house keys, Kylo left your apartment and walked right out. He needed air. He needed to do something. 

Kylo found himself aimlessly walking along the barren sidewalks, hands deep in his pockets as the early morning air nipped at his skin. He thought about you. He thought about Snoke’s reaction towards you. Kylo’s mind filled with all those times Snoke had spoken about you in ways a man of his age shouldn’t have. Let alone,  _ any _ man. 

Kylo felt the bitterness resurface as he huffed. The walk had only done so much for him, the quiet atmosphere not enough to deafen his thoughts. His fists clenched and unclenched as his breathing grew heavy. 

Then, he realized it. He wasn’t aimlessly walking—he had somewhere he was going. Kylo found himself entering a building, stomping his way through and shoving past a door. At these early hours, he knew they’d be around. Rest wasn’t ever in their agenda. 

Approaching a red haired man, grabbing his shoulder and turning him, Kylo swung his fist back, slamming his knuckles against the man’s nose as a  _ crack _ was heard. “ _ FOR FUCKS SAKE! _ ”

Shoving the man back, enough to make him stumble over his own feet and trip, Kylo snarled, “you’re a fucking piece of shit and I can’t wait for your weak ass to rot in hell _you fucking_ _prick_!”

Clutching his nose as blood trickled down his chin and smeared against his hand, Hux looked up at the towering figure with horror in his eyes at the sight of pure murder in Kylo’s own. He crawled back enough to pick himself up as he watched Kylo turn away and point his finger. 

“And you, you wrinkled dick!” He spat as he eyed Snoke. “You can fucking take my home and all my art, give me a bad fucking name so no one would ever buy my fucking art again but if I ever see you approaching my girlfriend or even hear the you tried to speak with her, I will shove every single fucking pencil in your eye sockets until you go blind,” he seethed, heat rising to his face as his skin turned red. 

“I don’t take too well with threats, Ren,” Snoke growled. “You dare speak to the one man who gave you it all when your parents never seemed to give you—“

“You have never given me anything but pure fucking misery for six years. I’ve had enough of your bullshit. You can have Hux continue to suck your dick since it’s clear how much you only appreciate his work and not mine. Let alone, Phasma’s,” Kylo spoke with a deadly look in his eyes, “I am done here and I will never work for or with you ever again.” Turning around and storming right off, Kylo could hear Snoke shouting from the distance, but all he did was lift his middle finger in the air and make his way back to you. 

Waking up from a sudden nightmare, feeling yourself pant, you blinked a few times before reaching your hand out. You felt nothing, no other body but your own. Instantly sitting up, searching your room, you panicked. The last thing you needed was for Kylo to be missing after having a dream that you had  _ lost _ him. 

Jumping out of your bed, exiting your room and searching your living room, you were just about to run right outside, only to see Kylo open the door. “Oh, Kylo,” you breathed, pulling him into a hug as you shivered against him, holding him tightly as he wrapped his arms around you. “I thought you had gone…”

“I’m sorry, my muse. I went for a walk… I couldn’t sleep,” he partially confessed, kicking the door shut behind him. “I’m sorry.”

Pulling back and looking him in those tired eyes of his, you reached a hand up and felt how warm his cheek was. Grabbing his hand, you pulled him with you to your couch, sitting him down before you sat beside him. “What happened?” 

Looking at you, a weak smile grew on his lips, “you read me too well.”

Frowning, you nodded, “you had me worried for a moment.”

Reaching over, Kylo caressed your cheek, wiping your subtle tears before he leaned in and kissed your forehead, “I’m sorry… I love you.”

“I love you, too…” you breathed before gently pushing him back. “Please… tell me…”

Gazing into your worried eyes, Kylo slid his hand down to your hand and held it, “I went to Snoke…” he confessed as you gulped. “I confronted him… told him I was leaving his childish art group… and I told him to stay away from you. Forever.”

“Kylo…” you whispered, using your free hand to hold his chin. “Are you okay?”

Slowly nodding, Kylo let out a deep breath. “I feel… relieved. For once.” Reaching for you, Kylo brought you on top of his lap. “I feel  _ free _ .”

Smiling at him, you nodded. “Good… I only want what’s best for you,” you said as you caressed his hair. 

“My love,  _ you _ are what’s best for me.” Slipping his arm around your waist, he leaned in and kissed you. “I only want to be free with you… I couldn’t give a shit about anyone else. It’s you. It’s always been you. It’ll  _ always _ be you, my angel.” Nuzzling his nose into your cheek, Kylo took in a deep breath. “You are my everything.”

Tearing up at his words, you leaned into him, “I love you…”

“I love  _ you _ ,” he hummed against your cheek.

“Why… was Snoke awake… so early?” You curiously asked. 

“Probably cause he had his dick deep in Hux’s throat—“

“ _ Kylo _ …” you nudged him. 

What? Hux is his little bitch—“

“ _ Baby _ …” you shook your head. 

“Fine. Whatever. Snoke always was an early bird for every fucking thing. Him, Hux, Phasma, and everyone else rarely sleep,” Kylo explained as you frowned. 

“So… you hardly slept, too?” You asked, earning a sigh from Kylo. “Well, now that you’re gone, you can cuddle me and we can sleep in,” you smiled, standing from him and grabbing his hand. “Get those clothes off first,” you ordered as you brought him back with you to your room, knowing Kylo was leaving a trail of clothes behind. 

Slipping his hand from yours, Kylo lifted you in his arms as he brought you to your bed. Crawling on his knees with you held against him, Kylo placed you down before he sat beside you. He eyed you, the way you rested there and gazed up at him. Moments like these were ones he cherished most. 

“Admiring the art?” You teased with a soft voice, earning a small smile from Kylo. 

“You are the greatest masterpiece the universe could’ve ever created,” he said, leaning in to kiss you. “Beautiful…” caressing your cheek as you blushed, you held his wrist. 

“Handsome,” you winked at him, turning your head to kiss his palm, then every single one of his fingertips, knuckles, and his wrist. You quietly left gentle kisses along his hand and forearm before you lowered it. You stayed silent for a moment, almost deep in thought before you slowly looked over at Kylo. 

“What is it?” He mumbled, looking down at you with narrowed eyebrows. 

“Come with me, to see my mother,” you said. 

Eyeing you, Kylo nodded, “of course.” Leaning in again, Kylo buried his face in your neck as he lied beside you. “Anything for you.”

Biting your lip, you dug your fingers in his hair before lifting his head and pressing your lips against his. Rolling yourself on top of him as Kylo’s hands slid along your back, you kissed him deeply. Your fingers ruffled his hair as your tongue slid past his parted lips, straddling him as you felt his own hands fall to your hips. “I love you, Kylo,” you muttered against his lips. “No matter what… I’ll always love you.”

“You’ll always have my heart, baby…” he breathed against you as he sat up. 

Tugging off your panties as you lifted the night dress you had been in, Kylo lifted the hem of it as you reached in his underwear and pulled his length out. You continued to kiss him, sharing open mouthed kisses as you tugged at his hair. 

Slipping his hand in between your thighs, Kylo’s fingers worked you open as you circled your hips against them. Your breathing grew fast as Kylo’s grew heavy. Your foreheads pressed together as he pulled his hand back and lifted your hips, aligning yourself with him and sinking till you felt him hit your core with his sudden hip thrust. 

Your moans filled the air as Kylo’s growls echoed behind them, the two of you bucked your hips against one another as the rising sun slowly peeked through your curtains. Quickening his hip movements, Kylo had you cumming in seconds before he followed shortly. 

Lifting his hands to caress your hair, holding your cheeks and kissing you, Kylo left a gentle one against your chin and forehead before he lifted you from him and pulled you down with him. Gazing at you, his fingertips slid along your side, from your neck to your shoulder, bringing the thin strap of your nightwear down. Moving his hand down your hip and outer thigh, it slid under your silk dress and felt the smooth skin of your belly before he cupped your breast. You couldn’t help but laugh, reaching over to him and grabbing his peck, earning a muffled snicker from him. 

“You have a really nice chest, sexy thing,” you winked as Kylo grinned. 

“So do you,” he winked back as you smiled. 

Feeling him slip his hand away, resting it against your back and pulling you closer to him, he kissed you again—this time more gently. His hand lingered, resting against your bare ass before giving it a small squeeze. The desire to feel every inch of your skin itches at his skin. 

And it seemed you felt the same way with his own body, resting beside one another and caressing each other’s skin. 

* * *

 

The sound of your phone buzzing woke you up from the sleep you never knew you took. You remembered the feeling of Kylo’s skin against your hand as the two of you sat in a comfortable silence, feeling one another within the calm atmosphere. Finding yourself as the little spoon with Kylo wrapped around you like an octopus, you reached for your phone and quietly answered it, “hello?”

“Oh, hello, sweetheart… I hope I didn’t wake you?” Leia asked. 

“No, it’s fine, I had a very late night…” you yawned, looking at your nightstand clock, seeing it was half past nine in the morning. 

“Well, I have some good news for you,” she said, “I have someone who can help bring Snoke down.”


	18. Chapter 18

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The truth isn’t always pretty...

You had easily gotten two more hours of sleep in you after Leia’s call, agreeing to meet up in the afternoon. Kylo had woken up before you, leaving a kiss against your bare shoulder before he got up to make breakfast for the two of you. The smell had woken you up, bringing you to the kitchen to effortlessly greet Kylo before he had set up the table with either of your plates. 

After an hour of eating and quietly speaking to one another, both very much groggy and wanting to go back to bed, you forced yourselves to shower to wake each other up. Sharing a shower helped when one of you wavered and the other splashed water in the others face. 

Eventually, after dragging yourselves along, you were dressed and ready to visit the hospital. 

“Hey…” you said as you held Kylo’s hand, standing in the elevator of your apartment building. “I know you had a long night—“

“So did you,” he mumbled, nuzzling his nose in your freshly cleaned hair. 

“I know…” you sighed. “I know it was a rough one for you… but thank you for coming with me.”

Lifting his head, Kylo looked at you, “my love… you don’t ever have to thank me. I owe you my life for all that you’ve done for me.”

Looking up at him, you smiled, “oh, handsome…”

“I promise you I will find my own place to—“

Lifting your hand, you covered his mouth, “I am in no rush for you to move out when you just moved in.” Hearing the elevator ding, you walked ahead, nearly tugging Kylo as he stared at you in awe with a throbbing heart. “I’d rather you stay forever.”

Blinking, Kylo stumbled behind you as you took the lead, feeling his heart race. He had won the jackpot with you, hadn’t he? You owned his heart completely. 

Making your way to the hospital as you kept your hand in his, Kylo had felt the sudden tremble coming from you when you entered the building. You suddenly fell silent as you went through security to check in. Stopping for a moment as the two of you walked along the hall that lead to your mothers room, Kylo cupped your cheeks, “I’m going to be right there with you.”

Gulping, you nodded, “ I know…” Watching as he leaned into you, you felt Kylo’s soft lips press against your forehead before he slid his hand into yours. 

Your heart skipped a beat as you approached the room, seeing the dim lights through the opened door. Walking in and spotting your mothers unconscious body, you sucked in a sharp breath. Your grip on Kylo’s hand grew tighter as you stopped at her bedside. 

He thought about that moment he had seen your mother, not too long ago, and imagined you. His heart clenched at the thought… his heart broke at the grief you must’ve still felt. Kylo kissed your cheek before he whispered to you, “I’ll be right back, my love.”

“Okay,” you nodded as he slipped from you, exiting the room as he left you within its silent confines. 

Walking through the hallways, Kylo aimed for the gift shop of the hospital. Turning a corner, he nearly rammed into another man who had been holding a stack of books that collided onto the ground, nearly smashing a bouquet of sunflowers. “Shit, sorry…” Kylo huffed, helping pick up the small mess. 

“As long as the flowers are fine,” the man said. 

The voice sounded familiar, causing Kylo to lift his head and spot a man with greying hair. He knew that face. 

And the man knew Kylo’s face. 

“Ben Solo?” The man asked. “You look awfully a lot like him, forgive me if you’re not.”

Blinking a few times, Kylo gulped before he nodded. “I go by… Kylo Ren now…”

“Ahh,” your father nodded. “Is Ben Solo not interesting enough?” He teased as Kylo shook his head. “What brings you here? I hope nothing serious…”

Sucking in a breath, Kylo mumbled, “visiting…”

“Me too,” your father nodded once again. “I hope it isn’t your father. I keep in touch with your mother so I know she’s fine.”

“No… it’s… it’s my…” gulping, Kylo forced out, “girlfriend’s mother.”

Eyeing Kylo, your father furrowed his eyebrows. “I see…”

Feeling his heart skip a beat, Kylo looked at your father, hoping he hadn’t connected the dots… even if he wouldn’t be able to avoid admitting he was your boyfriend now that he was in the hospital. “I was going… to buy flowers.”

“Well, I hope your girlfriend’s mother is okay,” your father said, “and it’s good to see you again after so long.”

Nodding, Kylo stuttered, “you— you too.” Watching your father walk away, Kylo let out a deep breath before aiming for the gift shop. 

Your father, however, was deep in thought as he aimed for where you mother was kept. He didn’t want to jump to conclusions… but there was something off. Entering the room, a sudden smile grew on his lips as he spotted you. “Bellissima,” he greeted as he settled the books down, changing the sunflowers that had been in a vase. 

Looking over, you instantly stood from your seat. You had nearly forgotten about the small detail… he didn’t know who your boyfriend was. “Hey… dad…”

“It’s good to see you well rested,” he said, “I haven’t seen you around my office in some time.”

“Yeah… I’ve been working from home…” you partially lied, knowing he didn’t know you were in the hospital. “I’ll be back later,” you nodded. 

“So you will never guess who I just ran into…” he said as he lifted one of the few books he brought, eyeing it. You looked down at it, recognizing the cover and the content as your father flipped through it—his collection of designs. Your mother had been dying to see them since he would be publishing a small series, and you assumed he brought them to  _ talk _ to her about them. 

“Who?” You asked as you lifted your eyes. 

“Ben Solo,” suddenly your heart sank, “or should I say  _ Kylo Ren _ since that’s what he goes by.”

Gulping as you watched him nonchalantly speak, you looked over at the door, anxious for Kylo to return. 

“He’s gotten huge. I hardly recognized him… but I’m sure you knew that.”

Snapping your head over to him, your father had already been looking at you. “Wha— Huh?”

“I knew it!” He exclaimed as you blinked. “I knew it was quite the reach but my fatherly instincts kicked in.”

“Wh— Dad, what are you even talking about?” You shook your head.

“Ben—  _ Kylo _ was here visiting his girlfriend’s mother. Ring any bells?” 

Shutting your mouth, you let out a sigh, “maybe…”

“So that’s who was texting you when you were cooped up in here?” He asked as you stayed silent. “He cares about you, that’s good.”

“Dad…” you trailed as you bit down. 

“Just saying… He was worried about you and now he’s here with you. I should’ve seen this coming, he was always staring at you when he was  _ forced _ to visit.”

Blushing at your father’s words, you heard footsteps approaching, lifting your head to see Kylo walk in with a number of balloons tied to a large teddy bear. You couldn’t help but smile, feeling your heart swell up. 

“I…”

“It’s okay, he knows,” you said, walking over to him and taking the teddy bear. “Thank you, love,” kissing his cheek, you brought the teddy bear to the seat you were once sitting on. 

Sucking in a breath and looking over at your father, Kylo awkwardly stood there, unsure of what to do. You noticed his sudden change in demeanor, seeing how out of place he seemed. “O— kay…”

Looking over at your father and seeing him eye Kylo, then look back down at the book he held. “So my daughter is dating the boy—“

“ _ Man _ , dad.”

“Man who ran away from home?” Your father asked as you groaned. 

“Dad, I am in my mid twenties… please, I live on my own and all. Kylo is a great man! Actually, he’s amazing!” You exclaimed as Kylo stood there behind you, almost as if he could  _ hide _ from your father from behind your much smaller frame. “I shouldn’t have to explain.”

“Hey, I’m not judging,” he shrugged, eyes still glued on the books. 

Huffing, you shook your head, “alright I’m going to go.”

“Oh, b—“

“Nope,” you shook your head as your father looked at you. “I’ll see you later!” Grabbing Kylo’s hand, you pulled him with you as he casually complied. 

“We didn’t get to stay for long…” Kylo mumbled behind you. 

“It’s okay, I’ll come back later. I wanna go back to the tower and do some work, I’ve been gone for a while,” you said as Kylo furrowed his eyebrows. 

“Now?”

“Half a day is half a day!” You nodded. 

“If you say so, my muse,” he sighed as he walked along. 

* * *

 

“Snoke has violated many laws and committed fraud,” a man spoke up before Leia as you sat to a side. When you had returned home, you changed and told Kylo he can keep your spare key if he chose to go out, but he insisted he’d probably stay and work on some art since he had lost his studio. “He’s stolen your son’s work.”

“What?!” You and Leia shouted in sinc. 

“How do you know this, Lando?” Leia asked. Lando was an old family friend who is a detective and apparently had been working on a few cases surrounding Snoke. 

“There’s no hard proof… but we have been given tips and we’ve had some rookies actually visit his galleries and see. The work he sells on his own time look very much like Kylo’s work… except, with Snoke’s signature instead of his.”

Blinking a few times as your heart sunk, thinking about how hard Kylo worked… how passionate he was and how art was his world… you couldn’t help but feel upset. 

“We need to do our own investigation if nothing is being done! And now that he’s been kicked out of his loft, I’m sure that bastard has something to do with it…” Leia snarled. 

“We could always hire a private—“

“I’ll do it,” you spoke up. “Snoke seems very interested in me… I think I can get proof.”

“No,” Leia shook her head. “You are not going to be alone with that sick man. He could hurt you, he could—“

“Leia, please…” you frowned. “I want to help… I  _ need _ to help. I love Kylo too much to let Snoke get away with this.”

Looking in your eyes and seeing that burning passion and love for her son, Leia sighed, “...under one condition. We put a wire on you. We need to here at all times, I am not going to let you do this alone,” she said as you nodded. “Lando?”

“We can get it done. We just need her to find her way through in a conversation and get him to confess,” he said. 

“I can do it,” you nodded. “Believe me.”

And they did. They put their faith in your hands (as you did to them with your life). Lando had put a wire on you as you had devised a plan on what you had in mind. Leia was unsure, on edge and uneasy, but you assured her you’d be fine. 

You  _ hoped _ you’d be fine. 

Standing before a door of a gallery that was reaching its closing, you gulped before tugging on your coat.  _ You can do this, this is for Kylo, this is for justice _ . Walking right in as you were greeted with bright white walls and scattered paintings, your heels hit against the floor, echoing throughout. 

“Hello?” A hollow voice called out as you shivered. You heard their footsteps approach, catching your attention as they turned the corner. “Ah, Ren’s little play thing. Come to apologize?”

“Yes,” you breathed. “I shouldn’t have gotten in the middle of that.”

“Your boyfriend threatened me if I ever were to approach you,” Snoke spoke up as he stood before you, eyeing you from head to toe. 

“Boyfriend?” You scoffed, “I hardly consider him that. He just pays me well,” you lied, forcing yourself to put on an act. “But now that he has nothing… well… is he even worth staying with?”

Watching as you tilted your head, Snoke smirked. “Little deer, I would gladly pay you  _ triple _ if you modeled for me,” he spoke in a low tone, causing your stomach to turn. 

“Triple? Hmm…” you tapped your chin. 

“You can model for me daily, my dear. The more you pose, the more I pay…” reaching over and holding your chin, you quietly took in a deep breath. “Starting today…”

“Well…” you sighed, “Kylo was most of my income… I’m just an intern, I don’t make much money as it is…” you lied yet again, “I basically relied on his money to get by…”

“I can help with that, as long as you give me something,” feeling his boney finger caress your cheek, you bit your tongue. “I can give you a nice place if you promise to model for me and  _ only _ me.”

“Hmm…” you hummed again. “I don’t know.”

Biting down and squinting his eyes, you felt his grip on your chin, “what else could you possibly want?”

“Well, if I am to be your model—and only yours—then… you have to be open with me. That was my number one rule with Kylo—“

“Why should a model know anything about her employer?” Snoke spat. 

“It’s a relationship. It brings us closer and makes it more personal. It also makes your art more…  _ genuine _ ,” you smiled. 

“Fine,” he huffed. “Only because you are beautiful.”

“Already sweet talking me?” You smirked as you reached for his tie. “You’re gonna have to be extra open then.”

Looking down at you, he reached for your wrist and held it, “let’s get to it. I’ve waited for this for quite some time.” At that, he tugged you with him as you walked along. You felt your heart racing, unsure of what you were putting yourself through. You were just hoping it’d work. 

“Wear this,” he said as he handed you a silk nightgown that was a pearl color. “Nothing underneath, you are a model after all.”

Nodding your head, you took the dress in your hands, “where is your restroom?”

“Can you not change right here?” He growled. 

“No, you don’t get to see me nude just yet,” you waved a finger as Snoke huffed before pointing to where the bathroom was. Walking in it’s direction and locking the door, you let out a deep breath before you changed, keeping your underwear on, not listening to his orders. You didn’t trust him. And you needed your wire. 

“Ahh… No wonder Ren was so protective of you,” Snoke spoke in a breathy tone as you walked towards him, he had an easel set up and a small stage ready for you to stand on. “You are angelic.”

“Hmmm,” you forced a smile.  _ Remember… this is for Kylo _ . You took a seat on the white block on the stage, posing for him. The gown—although very comfortable—was almost too thin and see through. You were worried about exposure, you were afraid of the wire’s visibility. “If I am to be your continuous model, I must know how a man such as yourself got into art.”

“My dear, that is a very complicated thing. It’s just very… interesting. Especially getting to draw and paint beautiful women like you…” he grinned. “But… to be an art dealer is even grander when you make millions.”

“And you are a millionaire?” You asked. 

“Almost a billionaire,” he grinned. “I know how to manage my money well.”

“Oh… that’s interesting,” shifting your pose to a bit more revealing one, you spoke up, “how do you do it?”

“My dear, I can’t tell you all my secrets,” he smiled, a disturbing grin that sent shivers down your spine. 

“You do want me to be your one and only…” you pouted, batting your eyelashes. 

“I do,” he hummed. “I believe you will stay quiet about this?”

“You are going to pay me, aren’t you?” You smirked. 

“Smart girl…” his wicked grin grew back on his face. “It’s simple: I counterfeit art.”

Feeling your heart race as your face grew hot, you bit your tongue. You could feel your nails dig into your palms, “that must be hard.”

“Not really. I took your sorry ex-boyfriends art and slapped my name on it. Very simple when you have mindless whores who work for you—men included. I’ve always told Ren his work is worthless, but that was never true. His work was very much loved.”

Feeling your blood boil as your chest tightened, you switched positions again, “a pity.”

“Oh, flower, it is not. He always believed his work was worthless because I made him believe that. I purposefully lost and destroyed originals that were too hard to remove the name or cover up. I would even ruin a few so they would make little to no money when they had his name. I wanted him to suffer. He was a foolish boy to run from home and believe me,” he snickered, causing your fury to heighten as your wrath was burning in your chest. “Then there’s taxes… but, plenty of the rich don’t do them, either.”

Walking down the halls of the Resistance tower, Kylo looked at his wristwatch and sighed. It had been over nine hours since he last saw or heard from you. You had shown him your house phone and left your phone number on a sticky note in case of anything, but when he called, you never answered.

And he called a good five times throughout the afternoon and night. 

Searching for your office space—or at least your father’s—Kylo’s pace slowed down as he slowly walked backwards, overhearing a conversation. 

“I don’t like this… He’s already confessed, we should get her out.”

“She can’t just get up and leave, there are high chances he will do something drastic.”

“Snoke is an evil man, he will do something drastic to her either way.”

Hearing your name be brought up, followed by Snoke’s, Kylo’s heart sank as he listened closer. 

“He’s already dug his grave.”

“But what about her? It’s just them in his gallery. No one could hear a thing.”

Feeling his eyes widen, Kylo broke into a sprint and ran right down the hall, into the stairwell and made his way all the way to you. His legs took him far as he ran as fast as he could, sweat already coating him even in the cold night air. He felt his heart race faster and faster each time his foot hit the ground. If you were all alone with Snoke, he knew you were in trouble. 

Snoke only had one thing in mind.


	19. Chapter 19

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Love overpowers all.

You couldn’t look at him. The words that slipped from his tongue like pure venom disgusted you. 

Turning in your spot to look away, seeming as if you were posing, you suddenly felt his boney hands against your bare shoulders, his breath hitting your cheek. “I trust you will not say anything.”

“Of course not,” you spoke through your teeth. 

“Good. Because now that you know, I can’t have you going back to Kylo to tell him the truth.”

Feeling your heart sink, you turned your head to look up at him, only to gasp as he forced himself upon you. His hands latched onto your wrists as he pressed his thin, brittle lips against you. Thrashing around and shoving him off of you, you instantly stood up. “Don’t you dare do that again!”

“You dirty whore, I knew you weren’t here for anything else,” he snapped, grabbing a fistful of the dress and pulling you towards him, ripping the material apart and exposing you. 

Instantly covering yourself with your arms and trying to run, you suddenly felt his body tackle your own, pining you to the ground. “Get off of me you conniving snake!”

“Don’t let my age fool you, I can do plenty,” he snickered as you grunted, kicking and kneeing him, hitting his stomach as he let out a huff of air. 

Slipping from him, Snoke grabbed your ankle and pulled you back to him, noticing the mic on your back. “Let go—“

“A wire?!” He shouted, forcing you to face him as his pale palm met your cheek with a force, causing you to cry out in pain. “A fucking wire?! You bitch!” Snatching the wire and smashing it with his foot, Snoke tugged you further back. 

Panting and kicking your free foot against his face, you pulled yourself to your feet, cupping your cheek and trying to find your way out. How could no one hear you? 

You ran as fast as you could, turning a corner and spotting the back door. But as you were just about ready to sprint towards it, you were instantly tugged back by your hair, slammed against a wall as something sharp pressed against your cheek. You looked into Snoke’s cold blue eyes, death written in them as he seethed. You writhed and slammed your fists against his chest, but you felt the sharp object pierce your skin, cutting it open as a yell left your lungs. 

“You will learn to never cross me ever again!” He shouted, bringing the knife to your throat, “your sorry excuse of a boyfriend will continue to fail, you will be fired from your silly company and I will make sure your lives are a living hell! If you dare try that again I will have pieces of your body in different countries before you—“

Feeling Snoke being peeled off of you as he was forcefully turned, a pencil was suddenly stabbed into his eye as a piercing shriek left him. “BASTARD—“

“I warned you, if you were to ever go near her, I’d stab you in the fucking eye until you go blind.” Recognizing that voice, your wide eyes shifted from a shrieking Snoke, to a seething Kylo. 

Gripping onto his neck as Snoke choked out, Kylo’s grip tightened before he slammed him against the wall, letting him fall as the pencil stuck out of his eye socket. “YOU SON OF A B—“

Kicking the air out of him, Kylo looked over at you and quickly rushed to your side, cupping your unharmed cheek as he eyed the rest of your body. “I wanted to help you…” you softly spoke as you looked him in the eyes. 

Feeling his heart sink as your doe eyes gazed into his, he pulled you into his chest and held you tight against him. Your chin rested on his shoulder as he hunched forward, burning eyes pooling with tears as he trembled against you. 

Your eyes fluttered closed as you watched uniformed men rush in and grab Snoke, pulling him to his feet as the distant echo of sirens filled the air. You felt the world around you go quiet although there was so much commotion. You melted into Kylo as he melted into you, breathing each other in and clutching onto one another as if your life depended on it. 

The police and ambulance had blocked the entrance as curious citizens surrounded the area. Snoke’s wrists were locked together with handcuffs as he shouted profanities while being forced away. You—and Kylo—on the other hand, stayed in your position as the coursing fear slowly evaporated from your blood. 

“I couldn’t let you lose it all…” you spoke up as your grip on his shirt tightened. “I love you too much to let it happen.”

“My love—“ Kylo’s voice cracked as he constricted his arms around you, “you… you can’t—“

“I always want what’s best for you, Kylo...” your voice whispered. “Always…”

Gently pushing you back, holding your cheek and pushing his fingers through your hair, Kylo looked at you with furrowed eyebrows and watery eyes. “You don’t— You can’t.”

“Why?” You shook your head. “You can’t do all the caring…”

“It’s not that,” he shook his head, eyeing your fresh wound, “I don’t mind taking a beating for you. I’d do anything to keep you safe even if that means getting hurt. But you can’t.”

“Ky—“

“No. I can't see you in pain. Not for me… Not like this…” Removing his jacket and placing it over you, Kylo held your arms. “You don’t know how terrified I was for you. How much I feared what Snoke would do to you…” 

“But you came…” you breathed. “You’d protect me like I’d protect you.” Leaving him speechless, you kissed him gently before a paramedic came to your aid. 

Kylo stood there with a heavy heart and a slump in his shoulders. The amount of love you showed him, how much you cared. The lengths you’d go and the distance you’d take… He couldn't help but gaze at you with blood rushing through his veins and love filling the void of his soul. 

You sat as the paramedic cleaned up your incision, you bit your tongue, shutting your eyes to ignore the burning sensation. Gripping on the blanket they had given you with one hand, you suddenly felt a hand slip into your other, causing your eyes to open and see Kylo standing beside you like a dark umbrella that protected you from the world. 

Smiling up at him, catching his attention, he leaned in and kissed your forehead before he brushed his nose against yours. “Let me take you home.”

“Please…”

Watching from afar, Leia sucked in a small breath as she smiled, watching her son tower before you as he stayed by your side. “You two were destined for one another… No one can stop you.”

* * *

Kylo had carried you all the way home without a care, keeping you close to his chest as you rested against him. You clutched onto the blanket for extra security, wanting nothing more than to be in the confines of your home. 

Although you were frightened, you knew what you were getting into. 

Leia had approached you amidst the chaos, making sure you were okay as Kylo had been pulled aside to give his statement. You could see the worry in her eyes, the fear of what could’ve happened, but you reminded her that you were fine. That her son had saved you. Eventually, Kylo had returned, refusing to look at his mother. He blamed her even though you confessed it was your idea. 

Settling you down as he reached your home, he placed your purse to a side before approaching you. He was slow and hesitant, he eyed your scar with furrowed eyebrows before he looked into your gentle eyes. Reaching to cup your face in his massive hands, Kylo sucked in a small breath as he leaned in to press his forehead against your own. “This must be a vivid dream…”

Smiling, you reached up and held his wrists, “I’m real.”

Sucking in a deep breath, staying in that position, Kylo lifted his head enough and left a careful kiss just above your scar. “Sometimes I’m afraid that you’re an illusion and will disappear,” he nearly whispered, but you shook your head.

“Mm-mm…” letting go of one of his wrists, you cupped his cheek, “you can feel me, kiss me, love me… I’m here before you.”

Looking down at you, Kylo pressed his hand against yours as it rested against his cheek, “thank the heavens…” turning his head to kiss your palm, he gently tugged you closer before he kissed your lips. “Why did you do it?” He quietly asked. 

“Because…” you breathed, brushing your fingers through his hair, “Snoke was using you and he deserved to be punished.”

“But you could’ve gone through far worse,” Kylo frowned. 

“I know…” you nodded. “But… I found out the truth.”

Furrowing his eyebrows, Kylo slightly tilted his head. “Truth?”

“He had stolen your work… called it his own… destroyed some and lost others so you’d be of less value…” you explained, seeing the sudden fire in his eyes. “People wanted your work… they  _ want _ your work. They loved it… and he was jealous of that.”

Sucking in a deep breath, looking down for a moment as his jaw tightened, he felt you lift his chin, caressing his face and giving him a reassuring look. “I should’ve known better…”

“You would’ve never known,” you shook your head. “Now he’s in jail and missing an eye,” you pointed out, brushing his lips with your fingertips. “You… however, have nothing to hold you back from making and selling more art.”

“I could,” he breathed, “but all that matters to me is that you’re safe.” Pulling you into a kiss, you wrapped your arms over his shoulders as he held you close to him, standing in the moon’s wake as its light shined upon you through your windows. 

* * *

Two weeks has passed since the incident. Kylo had slowly gotten back into the swing of things as you had as well. Kylo took you to and from work as he spent most of his time in his little studio that was your spare room, to even being on the rooftop. You spent your nights cuddled together on the couch or in your room, almost as if making up for lost time. You two were inseparable. 

“My handsome man!” You called out as you had returned earlier than usual. 

“Baby?” He called out, emerging from the spare room. “How come you didn’t call?” Kylo asked. He had been relying on your house phone but you surprised him with a new phone just a few days after Snoke’s arresting. 

“That’s cause I’ve got a surprise,” you winked with a nod. 

“A surprise?” He narrowed his eyebrows. 

“Yes, and I need you to come with me!” Taking his hand you suddenly rushed out the door. You had sprinted nearly the entire way to your destination as Kylo followed in confusion. 

“What— Where are you taking me?” He asked as you slowed your pace and came to a stop. 

“Here,” you pointed as he looked over to blacked out doors and windows. 

“What… is  _ here _ ?”

“You’ll see,” you grinned. “Close your eyes.”

“Close—“

“ _ Kylo _ ,” you whined. “Please?”

“Fine…” he sighed, shutting his eyes and feeling you tug him with you. “You better not bring me somewhere you’re just going to abandon—“ feeling your hand slip from his, he opened his eyes and spotted a large space, his works of art he thought he’d lose forever hanging up or stacked against a wall… and right before him—his first large portrait of you. “ _ Baby… _ ” he whispered, feeling his eyes brim with tears. 

“I had some help… but I was able to recover all of your work we left behind at your old loft. I even… found some that Snoke had kept hidden…” you said, watching as he stood there with wide eyes that gazed at the area. “It’s all here.”

Seeing all his art and art tools, he lowered his eyes to settle on you. “You… did this?”

“Mhm…” you nodded. “I love you, Kylo.”

Sucking in a shaky breath, he fell to his knees before you. “I don’t—“

“Shhh…” walking closer to him, you ran your fingers through his hair. “This is what you deserve. Nothing but the best.”

Wrapping his arms around you as he rested his forehead on your stomach, he trembled against you, concealing his tears. 

“But, I have one condition…” you said, causing him to look up at you with tear stained cheeks. “You’ve gotta live with me. Permanently.”

“I wouldn’t even fight it,” he muttered, causing you to smile as he stood up and lifted you into a kiss. “I love you so fucking much…  _ so much _ …”

Smiling against his lips, you kissed him before leaning back enough, “I also got you a new art dealer.”

“Really?” He breathed. 

“Mhm,” you nodded. “Bail and Breha Organa.”


	20. Chapter 20

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Reunions, reconnections, and reawakening.

“Bail and Breha?” Kylo nearly whispered. “They— How— Surely they have no interest in—“

“Babe,” You tilted your head with an arched eyebrow, “you underestimate yourself far too much.”

Sucking in a deep breath, Kylo shook his head, “I don’t know… I don’t know what I could do to pay you—“

Pressing your lips against his to hush him, you muttered against his lips, “just keep loving me.”

Lowering you and wrapping his arms around you, Kylo rested his forehead against your shoulder. “It hurts…”

Chuckling, you ran your fingers through his hair with a smile, “I know…”

“A lot…” he mumbled. 

“I know, baby, I know.” Sighing, you kissed his head. “Love hurts,” you teased as he let out a grumble for a laugh. 

“Hmm…” turning his head to kiss your neck, Kylo left a small trail to your lips before he looked at you. “Thank you.” 

“Always,” you smiled before tiptoeing to kiss his cheek. “Now that you have your first ever studio— _ real _ studio—I think you should make your first piece...” you trailed, swinging your hips from side to side as you winked, earning a small laugh from Kylo. 

“Are you sure?” He asked, caressing your cheek with his knuckles. “I don’t—“

“Kylo,” you shook your head, “it’s okay. Thankfully Snoke didn’t do anything more than kiss me…”

“Kiss you?” He furrowed his eyebrows. “You never—“

“Because, I’d like to forgot how cold and disgusting his lips felt,” you scrunched up your nose. “I keep in mind that I would’ve been fine.”

“What if Lando didn’t come in time? I came in first before anyone, baby. You could’ve—“

“Hey,” you gently spoke, reaching over to hold his hand, “the what if’s aren’t worth it cause they’ll never happen. We’re here now, you’re free to do as you please and… Snoke is missing an eye.”

Sucking in a breath, Kylo nodded, “he is…”

“You’re still young,” you reminded. “And you’ve got  _ aaallll _ this space just for you and your art!” You presented. 

Looking down at you, Kylo took in a small breath, “how did you afford it?”

“ _ Somehow… _ ”

“Muse…” Kylo groaned. 

“Well, Bail and Breha bought some of your work… so did your mother… so did I. I also… got help from your mother—“

“ _ Babe— _ “

“Shhh,” you patted his chest. “It doesn’t matter now because now you can sell your art and make your own money,” you smiled. 

Eyeing you, he slowly nodded his head, “Would you do me the honors of being my model?”

“Of course,” you winked, guiding him to the back where there was an area you had set up with all his art tools. “I even got myself a nice chair and set up,” you presented the small stage and stool. “And! My own robe!” You pointed. 

“But I liked seeing you wear mine…” he frowned and you couldn’t help but giggle. 

“I can still wear it,” you nodded. “Knowing you like how oversized it is on me, causing it to expose a lot my skin” you winked, causing Kylo’s face to heat up. “But my new one is nice and silky… and short!” Pulling out the robe you kept in a bag, you showed Kylo as you wriggled your eyebrows. 

“But is there a point in wearing it when…” Kylo trailed as you began to undress before him. He watched as he took in a deep breath, you unhooking your bra and stripping from your underwear before pulling on the robe. 

“So?” You turned around to present yourself, “do you like it?”

Walking over and feeling the silk material against his fingertips, Kylo quietly nodded as you watched him. His fingers glided along your arm, then over your chest as you smiled. 

“I’ll take that as a yes…” grabbing his hand, you tugged him down to your level before pressing your lips against his. Slipping your hands up his arms, you reached for the buttons of his shirt and undid them. One by one before you reached the bottom and could feel the bare skin on his chest. 

“Hmm…” he hummed into your lips, reaching for your hands and holding them as he walked you back into the wall. Pinning your hands above your head, he deeply kissed you as you wrapped your leg around one his own, trying to bring him closer to you. 

Pressing his body against yours as you kissed him back, you felt Kylo grind his hips against you as you moaned. Trying to slip your hands from his, you pushed off his shirt and went for his pants, undoing them as Kylo kicked off his shoes. 

Without separating from the kiss, Kylo stepped out of his pants and managed to slip his underwear off before untying your robe. Bringing your body to his, feeling your bare skin against his, Kylo lifted you as you wrapped your legs around his waist. Kissing your chin and down your neck, Kylo gripped your thighs and separated them, grinding himself against you as you cried out. 

“Kylo!” You whined. 

“Hmph…” he hummed against your neck. “I just love hearing you beg—“

“Hello! Anyone here?!” A female voice suddenly called out, causing you and Kylo to snap your heads over in its direction. “Hello?”

“Who— Who the hell?” Kylo whispered as he lowered you, the two of you frantically trying to redress. 

“I— I don’t— I didn’t even— It could be your mother?” You frantically responded as you slipped your panties back in. 

“My mother?!”

“I said could!”

“Why would  _ she _ be here?!”

“I don’t know!”

Trying to get your clothes back on, Kylo ran his fingers through your hair as you fixed his shirt before the two of you went to the front. 

“He—“ seeing the two of you, the woman smiled. 

“Padmé?” You smiled back as she opened her arms, inviting you into them as Kylo’s eyes widened at the man standing beside him. “I’m sorry, where are my manners!” You excused yourself, turning to face the man who stood beside her. “Hello, Han!”

Turning his focus away from his son, Han gave you a smirk, “hey, kid, nice lipstick.”

Feeling your eyes widen, you wiped your mouth in embarrassment as he snickered. “I—“

“Oh, Han, leave her alone,” Padmé waved. “I wanted to stop by because my daughter told me her son got his very own studio… She was supposed to come but was busy so I dragged my son-in-law along!”

Staring at his father, a man he hadn’t seen in years, Kylo sucked in a deep breath. 

“I’m so glad! I didn’t plan on doing an opening or anything since Kylo is very private with his life and, well, I think bringing him here myself was sincere as it is,” you explained. 

“Antisocial wouldn’t want a ton of strangers here, anyway,” Han teased as you couldn’t help but smile. 

Kylo, however, stood silent with a racing heart. He didn’t know what to do or say, standing before a man he believed he hated because he was never home, and when he was, he hardly paid him any attention. 

But was that even true?

“I’m so glad you two are here, it means a lot—“ hearing heavy footsteps stomp away, you turned to see Kylo was no longer behind you. 

“Great…” Han huffed. “The one time I decide I should reconnect with him, he pulls this.”

“Han…” Padmé shook her head as you looked at them. 

“I’ll be right back,” you nodded before turning back and rushing after him. “Kylo? Love?” You called out, finding him standing there with his back facing you. “Is everything alright?” Walking up to him and gently placing your hand on his back, you felt his body tremble. “Kylo?” Walking around him you saw tears in his eyes. 

Looking down at something he had been holding, your eyes trailed down to a familiar pearl choker. The one you wore to prom. Placing your hand on his, your other reached up to hold his chin. His watery eyes lifted to meet your own, “I haven’t seen him in years.”

Eyeing him, you frowned for a moment, “Han… If I would have known they were—“ feeling him pull you into a tight embrace, Kylo’s tears seeped through your shirt and onto your shoulder. “Oh, Kylo…” you breathed, running your fingers through his hair as your free hand rubbed his back. 

“I’m sorry—“

“We have a bad habit of saying that when we shouldn’t, hmm?” Feeling him nod against you, you kissed his head. “I know it’s tough seeing him, but he’s here to support you no matter what.”

“Hmph…” tightening his grip around you, he kissed your neck before he lifted his head to look at you. “I wish I could marry you right now.”

Grinning, you cupped his cheeks as you wiped his tears, “you have me, always. Like how I have you.”

Eyeing you and gazing into your eyes, Kylo nodded before he leaned in to kiss you. “You deserve the world.”

“Thank you, but all I want is you…” sucking in a deep breath, you wrapped your arms around him and rested your head against his chest, “and for my mother to wake up.”

Sucking in a deep breath, Kylo caressed your back and kissed your head. He remembered his mother’s words… yet he still believed your mother would face the odds. “I think we should go back…”

“Right,” you chuckled, taking his hand and guiding him back. 

“I was afraid you two had left,” Padmé joked with a soft smile. “I know Han can be too much—“

“ _ Hey _ ,” he grumbled. 

“It’s fine,” you nodded, “we’re fine.” Looking up to Kylo, you noticed how he had been staring at his father. 

“Sweetheart, would you mind showing me to the restroom?” Padmé asked as you nodded. 

“Of course,” slipping your hand from Kylo’s, you lead Padmé as she took your side and walked with you. 

Staring at each other in an awkward silence, Kylo took in deep breaths as he eyed his father before him. It had been years since he had seen him and not much had changed… however, the man Han was looking at wasn’t the one Han remembered. He had longer hair and a slender face… he also was bigger. Much more muscular than he had remembered. 

“No longer a lanky boy, huh?” Han teased as Kylo bit his tongue. 

“I had to let out my anger some way.”

“Thought it was in your art?” Han nodded. 

“Sometimes…”

The silence then washed over once again, leaving the two there. 

“You finally got the girl,” Han spoke up as his son’s cheeks suddenly turned a darker shade. “Took you long enough.”

“She came to me…” he muttered. 

“I knew there was something there,” Han placed his hands on his hips. “You gonna marry her?”

Growing wide-eyed, Kylo froze. 

“Hmm… I know that face.”

“You don’t,” Kylo snapped in defense, but Han grinned. 

“You’ve already considered it.”

“I—“

“You’d marry her right now if you could,” Han said, almost as if he heard his son’s words from moments ago. “I’m sure she’d say yes in a heartbeat.”

Sucking in a deep breath, Kylo shook his head, “it’s too soon.”

“So? Who cares?” Han shrugged as Kylo’s eyes grew in size once again. “It’s just a title, for all I care you could stay boyfriend and girlfriend forever.”

“I’d rather we have the ring so people know we’re taken,” Kylo lowly growled, the thought of others thinking you were available haunting him. 

“Hmph…” Han smirked. “Well, do you have a ring?”

“...I can make a temporary one…” Kylo grumbled as his father grinned. 

“Of course you can…” 

Walking back over to see Kylo and Han speaking, you smiled. Padmé had done the same, winking at her son in law as he shrugged. Something was better than nothing. “We should go, I promised to go with Han to see my daughter.”

“Oh, okay,” you nodded. “I’m glad you two came!”

“Always,” Padmé smiled before she hugged you and Kylo. “Let’s go, Han, you’re driving.”

“Of course…” he sighed, giving you a cheek to cheek kiss before he patted his son’s arm. “ _ Improvise _ .”

Watching him walk away, your eyebrows narrowed. “Improvise?” You asked as Kylo shook his head. 

“It’s nothing,” he assured as you let it go and nodded, “I think we should get back to painting you.”

Looking up at Kylo, you smiled and nodded. “Yes, but…” turning around, you locked the door, “no more interruptions.” Rushing back to him, you grabbed his hand and guided him back. You changed back into the robe and began posing for him. 

 

* * *

“The first one by the one and only, free, Kylo Ren,” you said as you stood beside Kylo, eyeing the art as you had tied up your robe. “How do you feel?” Looking up to him with a smile, you reached for his hand. 

“...good,” he nodded. “Thank you for all of this…” looking over at you, the way you gazed up at him and gave him a heart warming grin, Kylo kissed your temple. “Would you marry me?”

“Huh?” You blinked. 

“Marry me. Marry me today or tomorrow or next month… But, marry me.” Looking deep in your eyes, Kylo took in a small breath. “Be my forever…”

Feeling your eyes water up as your breathing quickened, you gulped, “r— really?”

“I may not have a ring… but I have my heart to give…” he nearly whispered. 

“Kylo…” smiling as a tear slipped down your cheek, you nodded, “I’ll be your ‘forever.’”

Eyeing you as his heart skipped a beat, a smile grew on Kylo’s lips as he leaned his forehead against your own before he kissed you. He felt your hands slip into his hair as his own held your waist, pulling you closer to him. “My muse…” he muttered against your lips, “I love you so—“

Suddenly, the sound of your phone ringing caused you to chuckle, “another interruption.”

“It’s… fine…” Kylo sighed as you slipped away and went for your phone, seeing it was your father calling. 

“Oh, it’s my dad,” you nodded, answering it as Kylo sucked in a breath. “Hey—“

“ _ She woke up _ .”

“Huh— What?” Your eyebrows furrowed. 

“ _ Your mother _ .”

Feeling your phone slip from your grip, Kylo’s attention snapped over to you, instantly taking your side, “baby?”

“My mother…” you cleared your throat, “she woke up?”

 

* * *

You had never seen Kylo be so fast with his actions, the way he helped you change and how he brought you to the hospital so quickly. You were rushing towards your mother’s room with Kylo’s hand in your own as you approached the door, pushing it open and halting. 

Turning their heads to the door that shoved open, both your father and mother eyed you. “Honey…”

“Mom…” you blinked away your tears as you stared at her, hoping she was real. “M— Mom?”

“Hello, sweetie,” she smiled as you smiled back, rushing to her and holding her tight. You didn’t know how long you stayed in that moment, but you refused to let go. Knowing she was awake… knowing she was alive, you feared she’d disappear. “It’s okay, I’m here…” she caressed you back before cupping your cheeks and wiping your tears. “This is a happy moment, hmm?” She nodded as you did the same. 

“I just—“

“I woke up to your father bombarding me with a million and one things. I was afraid he was going to faint from the lack of oxygen to his brain,” she teased as you smiled, missing her humor. “He told me that you were seeing someone…”

Biting your bottom lip, you nodded before looking over your shoulder, seeing Kylo stand there. “I’m actually engaged—“

“What!” Your father exclaimed as Kylo turned red in the face. 

Waving your hand, Kylo walked over and took it in his own, “he asked me today… I don’t have a ring but that’s okay.”

Looking at you, then at Kylo, your mother grinned. “Kylo Ren, hmm? That’s what you go by?” She asked as Kylo nodded. “I still see a hint of Ben Solo… but I can understand the change. You’re no longer that walking stick.”

“ _ Mom… _ ” you shook your head as Kylo gulped. 

“He’s  _ big _ ,” she whispered to you. “Must be fun—“

“Mom!” You gasped but she only laughed. 

“I may have been in a coma, but that doesn’t mean I’ve changed,” she lifted a finger. 

“Thankfully…” you nodded. 

“So, you want to marry my daughter?” Your mother asked as Kylo blinked. 

“He didn’t even ask me,” your father shook his head. 

“Han gave me the idea…” Kylo confessed. 

“Dammit, Han,” your father stomped. 

“I approve,” your mother grinned as your father sighed, “under one condition,” she lifted a finger as Kylo slowly nodded. “You never stop loving her. I know you’ve always had.”


	21. epilogue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Together forever

Red hearts were everywhere. Nothing but roses upon roses all over your work space. It had been a year since you and Kylo got married. 

Your wedding was intimate, Kylo insisted her still buy you your engagement ring but you insisted on going for the wedding. It was one of the most precious events of your life, marrying outside of the country and having your close friends and families invited. 

Kylo had gotten back into the swing of things and started producing more and more art. There was a sudden high demand of his name, but Kylo only worked at his own pace. He didn’t want to make art just to sell it, he wanted to use it as a way of expressing what words possibly couldn’t. 

And most of his art (still) related to you. 

Then there was you, a little over a year after graduating and taking over your father’s brand. Though, he did still work alongside you, he was more than proud to see you take matters into your own hands and fully input your visions. 

“And I’m off!” You called out to your staff. “I’ll see you guys on Monday,” smiling and waving—as your employees had done the same—you made your way out. You were far too excited, wanting to see your husband, knowing he had a surprise for you. He kept insisting that it was  _ nothing _ but he refused to tell you what he had in mind. 

Eagerly rushing out the building and getting a cab, you fiddled with a gift you had in your hand. Kylo wasn’t materialistic and didn’t want anything out of this world—let alone, anything at all,  _ just _ you—but you got him something anyway. 

Paying the taxi driver and nearly sprinting to the door of Kylo’s studio, you suddenly were bombarded by hundreds of red balloons all over the floor and in the air. “Kylo?!” You called out, walking further to see dozens of red roses and confetti galore scattered about. “Oh, gosh…” you breathed, smiling at the sight. 

“You’ve made it,” Kylo said as he had popped up out of nowhere, making his way to you, taking your hands in his own. Kissing your lips before he moved to either cheek and forehead, he looked down at you, “happy anniversary.”

“Kylo…” you smiled. 

“It was unexpected, hmm?” He asked as you nodded. “Good.”

“You are an unexpected man…” you nodded back, “never expected a man like you to break into my office and set up dozens of roses and hearts in it…”

“I made those hearts,” he winked, proud of himself as your grin widened. 

“When?” You curiously asked as he snaked his arms around you. 

“During a time… in which I said I was busy…” he trailed as you chuckled, tiptoeing and kissing him. 

“Thank you, baby,” you whispered against his lips. 

“There’s more,” Kylo smirked. Taking your hand in his, he guided you to toward the back of his studio where a wall—plus the floor—were covered in a large, unstitched canvas. “Body paint,” he presented the paints he had set up. “I was thinking of using our bodies as tools…”

“Like paintbrushes?” You asked as he nodded. “I love it!” Clapping your hands, you then began to strip before him. 

“I got us extra clothes in case,” he pointed towards a bag. “I’ll keep my underwear on so I don’t-“ looking over at you and seeing you were standing there in just your underwear.

“One step ahead,” you winked before grabbing his hand and guiding him to the paint. It was almost as if you had put the whole surprise together and not him. 

You had easily spent an hour just tossing the body paint against one another—and the wall. Leaving your hand and foot prints all around and even rolling and pressing your bodies against the covered wall, you turned to Kylo as you picked up a bucket of the remaining red paint and splashed him with it. 

“Hey!” He exclaimed, chasing after you as you dropped the bucket. “Oh, you can’t get away!”

Shrieking as you tried escaping his reach, Kylo leapt forward and wrapped his arms around your waist, bringing you down to the floor with him as he pinned you. Laughing as you watched him rub his hands against his paint stained body, Kylo’s hands smeared the paint all over your face as you gasped, “rude!”

Smirking, Kylo interlocked his fingers with your as he pressed them above your head. Leaning in and kissing you, he felt himself smile into it as you had. “Happy anniversary, my love.”

“I love you,” you muttered against his lips, feeling his grip loosen up as he lifted himself to look down at you. “What?” You asked as he gave you a funny look.

“You look like the joker—“

“Kylo!” You chuckled, swatting his chest before pulling him back down into the kiss, rolling him over to pin him. “You’re an ass.”

“I love you, too!” He grinned as he tried pushing you off of him to place you back under him. 

Rolling around the floor with all of the paint, eventually, the two of you stopped and rested beside one another. “We should go home and clean up…” you said as Kylo hummed in agreement. “We’re going to look… so wild.”

“The city has seen far worse,” standing up, Kylo helped you to your feet as you helped him clean up and change. 

Although you were getting off looks the entire walk to your apartment, the two of you couldn’t help but stifle your laughter. 

Hand in hand, Kylo unlocked the door before lifting you over his shoulder. Kicking the door shut and bringing you to the shared bathroom, he settled you down and undressed you, leaving small kisses along your chin. 

“I’m starting to think the body paint was more of a way to pamper me…” you softly spoke as Kylo snickered. 

“Possibly…” undressing himself, Kylo took your hand and pulled you into the shower with him after turning the warm water on. 

“I have a—“

“No.”

“Kylo…”

“No gifts,” he shook his head as he began washing your hair. “Being here with you is a gift on its own.”

“Kylo… please—“

“Mm-mm…” he shook his head, focused on your hair. 

“That’s not fair… you gave me all those flowers and that surprise and—“

“Baby, you gave me my own studio. You let me live with you. You even  _ married _ me. You’ve given me so much,” he breathed as you pouted. “Believe me, I don’t need anything but your love and support.”

“Oh, Kylo…” you sighed with a small smile as he rinsed your hair. “You’re so cute.”

“Hmph…” turning you to face him as your eyes opened, he leaned in and kissed you, “not as cute as you—“

“Shhh!” You giggled, wrapping your arms over his shoulder and kissing him back. 

 

* * *

 

“I have one last stop before we go home,” Kylo said as he was at a stop light. The two of you had gone out to eat dinner at a restaurant just out of the crowded city for more peace. 

Sitting beside him with your hand in his, a familiar liquor shop came into view as Kylo parked. “Oh my gosh…”

“What?” He nonchalantly shrugged as his hand left yours. 

“You did not just bring us here…” you smiled. 

“I did, I’ll be right back,” he winked before exiting the car, leaving you there with a wide grin. 

You thought back to your prom night, Kylo buying beer with a fake ID and you getting tipsy—you knew you were drunk just yet. It was one of your favorites nights ever. The day you fell for the man who would be yours forever. 

“Alright, just like last time,” Kylo said as he returned, but you shook your head. “What?!”

“I can’t,” you chuckled, “I’m not craving it.”

“Hmm…” Kylo arched an eyebrow as you shrugged. “No wine at dinner and no beer now?”

“I wanna remember this day with a clear mind,” you said, “it’s our first anniversary.”

Nodding, Kylo twisted the lid off of his beer as you say happily. “This just kills the mood.”

“Oh, shut up,” you judged him with a laugh. “The mood is perfect with or without beer. I could literally screw you in this car without a care while being sober.”

“Don’t tease,” Kylo shook his head as he brought his beer to his lips. 

“You think I’m teasing?” You asked as you eyed him with parted lips. 

“Are you n—“ feeling you take away his beer, you climbed over to his seat, straddled him and adjusted his chair. “Muse isn’t kidding.”

“Nope,” you winked, “I’m sure I would’ve wanted this the first time we came here.” Leaning in and kissing him, you felt Kylo’s hands slip under your dress and onto your thighs, caressing the skin and squeezing as your tongue burrowed into his mouth. 

Reaching his fingertips towards your underwear, he tugged it down as much as he could, slipping his hand in between your thighs and burying his fingers into your heat. Lifting his free hand into your hair, he tugged at it as you moaned into his mouth. 

Moving your hip against his hand, clutching his shoulders and nearly losing yourself in the kiss, you reached down and unbuttoned his pants. Breathing against his lips, you felt Kylo pull his fingers away as he helped you adjust his pants and underwear. 

Your chest was heaving as your fingers ached, your insides burned and you felt nothing but an empty void wanting to be filled and satisfied. “Babe, please…” you breathed, eagerly helping him. Aligning yourself with him, you lowered yourself as he filled you to the core. Gently circling your hips, you pulled back before rocking into him. You picked up your pace as the car began to rock, Kylo’s hands clinging onto your bare ass as you clutched fistfuls of his hair. 

You thrusted your hips, kissed him and nipped at his skin while Kylo panted against you. Bringing your bodies closer as your pace grew staggered, your breathing grew stronger as the car began to fog up. Rocking into him harder and faster, feeling his fingers press into your flesh, you soon came with him following. 

“Was that your gift to me?” Kylo teased with a breathy tone. 

“Hmm… we’ll say that,” you nodded, kissing him again, except much more softly. 

Lifting you from him as he adjusted your panties, Kylo fixed himself before he kissed your cheek and chest. “Did I say that I love you?”

“ I don’t think so,” you teased as you moved back to the passenger seat, Kylo catching your hand and kissing it. 

“I love you,” he mumbled against your skin as you blushed. 

“I love you,” you smiled back before Kylo drove back home. 

The night was slowly reaching the early hours of the morning as the two of you returned back to your apartment and sat on the balcony. You stargazed together as you sat on his lap, sharing a blanket while Kylo held onto you. You joked about his old loft being in sight and how the two of you should move  _ elsewhere… _ but it seemed more suggestive than passive. 

“Well, before we go to bed after such a lovely day… I have something for you…” you said, reaching over to your purse. 

“Love, I said I don’t—“ pausing, Kylo eyed the black and white image you held before him. 

“It’s not really a wrapped gift… but… in a sense, this is a gift,” you smiled as you watched your husband’s eyes widen with tears. “This was yesterday during lunch when I said I wouldn’t be able to have you come eat with me as we always do…”

“I—“ tongue tied, Kylo’s suddenly shaky fingers reached over and grabbed the paper. “This… This is an—“

“Ultrasound,” you nodded. “You’re going to be a father.”

Gulping as he stared at the image, Kylo looked at you as you smiled at him with watery eyes. “A father?”

“Yes, love…” you nodded, only to feel him tug you into a tight embrace as he cried into your neck. “A little gift for the both of us.” Holding him against you as the moon beamed down while the stars shined, you eyed the image with a heart filled with love, “our own baby.”

**_OVER A YEAR LATER_ **

“I can not believe this…” Phasma shook her head, eyeing the hordes of people filing in and out of the gallery. “Why does he get this much attention?”

“Oh, stop it…” You shook your head as you stood beside her. “This is his first solo show. I’m proud.”

“Hmm…”

“Phasma… He worked really hard for all of this…” you explained as she sighed. 

“I know… I’m proud, too.” Smiling at her as she shrugged, you patted her arm before searching for your husband. 

Slipping through the crowds and trying to find a tall man that would stick out of the bunch, your eyes landed on a recognizable figure. Walking over and wrapping your arms around his waist, you grinned up at him. “Phasma is proud.”

“Is she?”

“Mhm… Got her to confess,” you winked as he smirked. 

“That’s a surprise.”

“Yes, but, not as big as seeing my favorite artist hold his tiny muse,” you gasped, seeing your daughter resting against his shoulder. Five months old and gazing at the world with curious eyes. “I’m surprised you brought her, I thought my parents were going to watch over her?”

“I made a few changes… I wanted to have her here for support,” he said as you tilted your head. “She keeps me calm when you’re not around…”

“Kylo…” You smiled, reaching up and caressing his cheek. “As long as she doesn’t get fussy, we’re good.”

“I just wanted to show her my favorite piece,” Kylo said before looking at the piece before him. 

“Really?” You asked as he nodded, turning your head to see the painting. His first ever piece of you. “Prom Queen…”

“Thank you,” Kylo muttered. “For everything, for all of this, for our little girl…”

“Don’t thank me, babe. You did this, too.” Kissing his arm, you hugged his side as he used his free arm to wrap around you.

“Hmph…” He hummed. “Somewhat.”

Chuckling, you tightened your grip before reaching up and caressing your daughter’s cheek as she looked at you with a toothless smile. Resting your head on Kylo, the two of you stood there, eyeing the painting with smiles on your faces. 

You were more than thankful for that prom night. 

**Author's Note:**

> Hello, if you've enjoyed reading, please leave a kudo and your feedback! Thanks ♡


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